I'm not sexually interested anymore..........?

Question

I've been with my husband for 3 years, we've been married only a year. When we first got together I wanted sex alllll the time anywhere, that's how high my sex drive was, but now it's really bad. I don't even want to have sex anymore....Let me tell you how bad it is......Do you know sometimes in the middle of the night my husbad tries to have sex and I pretend that I'm sleep until he just stops trying. When I do get horny I masturbate intead of telling him. I need help, this may ruin my relationship, I can't tell him I'm not interested anymore ( he's a man..PLEASE HELP

Answer 1

not true... you can tell him. i've told mine and he understood. if nothing else, he's become more sensitive to my moods and way more understanding and when i am ready, he makes himself available as well.

it happens like this at 3-5 yrs mark. you may need to figure out what's going on deep down. are you depressed? are you stressed out somehow?

see your doctor, maybe your hormones are out of whack, mine became this way after giving birth.

nothing to worry about, you're not gonna lose your marriage. plenty good marriages out there, that are just partnerships, with very little sex. intimacy is quite different from sex by the way. perhaps, you two need to re-introduce that into your relationship and see where things go from there.

Answer 2

Are you guys both home all the time? Sometimes it's just that you need a break from each other. If you don't get out much, maybe he needs some nights with the guys and you need some time with your girlfriends. Like someone said, he may be feeling depressed if he isn't working, or maybe he just needs a change of scenery. And as others have said, sometimes guys just need a quickie. Even I like a quickie once in a while because if we're tired, who wants to bring out toys and take an hour to have sex when you have to get up again in just 6 hours. It's better to get down and have a quick f**k and off to dreamland. Your situation might be different but same idea. Nothing wrong with taking a break from it for a bit anyway. Try something besides toys and such. Don't ask if sex is in the forecast, just initiate it yourself. Not too many guys can resist a striptease for example, or just surprise him with a bj. Also, don't get frustrated or bitchy or whiny as we all feel like doing, just kiss and hold him and be cheerful. If he feels that you accept him no matter what that will help him get through whatever is going on. If after a bit he still seems depressed, try to see what his thoughts are about life in general and maybe get some counseling either for him or for both of you just to see if it helps.

Answer 3

You should sit down and give some serious thought as to why your libido has changed. There are a variety of reasons why you might not be interested in sex any more. Are you under a lot of stress? Are you depressed? Do you have anxiety? Are you fatigued? Do you resent him? Do you feel underappreciated? Does he ever use foreplay?

I've been with my husband for 4 years, and speaking from experience, sometimes I just didn't want sex, and I didn't care a thing about going a month of more without it. He finally expressed his needs to me (poor guy!) and I realized that the reason I was uninterested was because I felt like the only reason he wanted it was to satisfy HIS urge, and not mine.

After we had a talk about what it takes to make us happy in bed, wow! Our sex life perked up a LOT.

I hope you guys can work it out! And if not, then go see a physician, because it may be possible that you have a horomonal imbalance.

Good luck!!

Answer 4

Your husband is not providing you with what your sexual drive is wanting. You don't know this, because it's on a sub-conscious level. Then again, maybe you do; you just don't want to admit it. I've been there before, where I'd do it myself without letting my significant other know....it's because I wasn't sexually attrated to her. There's nothing you can do - he is the one that needs to change. I can even tell you the source of why you're no longer sexually attracted to him. His behavior, towards you and in general, has changed since the day yall were just dating. It's not the same. The way a man acts can turn a girl on like a lightswitch(what type of attitude varies woman to woman). Figure out a way to let him know that the way he acted when yall first met is what turned you on. If you choose not to advice him of his changing behavior, or if he doesn't go back to the way he acted, i'm afraid there's nothing you can do. This is the #1 killer of marriage...complacency. Getting too comfortable in a relationship that, in all honesty, needs constant attention 24/7.

Answer 5

I feel the same way. I just give my guy enough to keep him satisfied and then take care of myself later. I don't really want the sex with him, but I know thathe needs it to have a fulfilling life. I love him and love our intimcay but he still needs sex just like your husband does. Give it up to him once or twice a week even if you're not in the mood. Relationships are about comromise.

Answer 6

Girl I feel your pain! Are you on the shot or any other kind of birth control? That's what ruined my sex drive. I had to get off the shot and a year later I'm slowly returning to how I used to be. I told my boyfriend what I was going through and he has been really understanding. Talk to your husband about what you are going through. Maybe you two could go have a romantic weekend where you can talk about what things turn eachother on. Good luck!

Answer 7

As far as I know, it's normal that women don't want to have sex all the time as many men do. It has to do with hormones. Moreover, getting used to a person lowers the pleasure from sex after a while. Also a common and a normal thing. What I would do is to talk with your husband about it. When you have a problem you should solve it together. All really good relationshsips probably work like that. If you and your husband learn to have good communication with each other and to be respectful to each others needs and limitations, then your relationship will fluorish.

Answer 8

I feel the exact same way, except we have been together 9 years married 2 years and we are only in our mid-20's. Our Marriage is perfect other than this issue but of course it is very important. My issue is, we have sex 3-4 times a week and it disgusts me when he is horney like we never have sex. Thats when I hold back from him but I don't do it on purpose, it just turns me off.

Answer 9

Well he's ur hubby and ur suppose to be able to tell him anything. U got bored w/ the sex. Either u can change it up or talk to him about it and u both can change things. U can't leave him in the dark about it, he will start to question the love u have for him. Be open and honest w/ him he's the other half of u and needs to know, wouldn't u wanna know?

Answer 10

There is a reason that you are feeling disinterested in sex with your husband....Have you considered seeing a doctor to check your hormone levels? Is your husband attentive to your other needs besides sex? Perhaps seeing a sex therapist would be a great idea...If your husband has done nothing to cause a lost in sex...you need to find out what is up with you...