My ex left me oct 5 th this year, he moved back for the 2nd time to his co-worker (she is 27 he is 42 and i am 47) we were together for 61/2 years. He left me a dear john letter telling me he tried to love me again but it wasn't the same (he even took my dish towles)!!!. He tells me he is madly in love and found his soul mate.
Both work for knology as cable guys.
It is christmas and i am still hurt and so sad over this breakup. I am not interrested in dating at all, and yesterday I called him and had the nerve to whinne and ask him if he ever would come back to me and to tell me yes or no so i could move on(how sick?) He did not answer me he just replyed to call him next week !!!
I feel like crap. How can i regain my dignity or sanity?
I would like to wish all you wonderfull people a merry Christmas , you have been for many times very insperational and supportive of my emotional delema. Thank you!!
2007-12-24 06:01:07 · 10 answers · asked by maria s 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i suggest that you should forget about him. if he really wants you back he could have answered you right there and then when you asked him to come back to you, but he didn't. You should focus on other things rather than think on how hurt you are. I know 6 1/2 yrs is not a joke but he leaving you twice already is not a good sign of an everlasting relationship. List the reasons you have not to have him back.Think about the endless possibilities you now have that you are single. You must be positive in your disposition in life. Enjoy life as you want it and not as others want it for you. Good luck! And don't forget to pray. Prayer is a very powerful tool in this life. Use it.
2007-12-24 06:18:38 · answer #1 · answered by mars addict 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you're feeling so sad--break-ups are never easy or fun, and the hurt can last a long time. I would suggest never speaking to the ex again, if at all possible--he's gone, he's not coming back, why torture yourself?
In the meantime, do things you like to do, take really good care of yourself by eating well and getting enough sleep and exercise.
Once you have some distance on the relationship, you can examine it and see what went wrong. What attracted you to him? Was it healthy? Was it unhealthy? Do you have a pattern in choosing unhealthy guys? If so, what is the pattern and why does it exist? Study this, so you can move forward having grown and learned from the experience. And if you find an unhealthy pattern but can't sort it out, it wouldn't hurt to spend a few sessions with a therapist to help you figure it out.
Good luck!
2007-12-24 14:10:46 · answer #2 · answered by stoneinthestream 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Merry Christmas to you too. I'm sorry your husband is such a weeny. This holiday season will be the hardest since the break-up is so recent. All you can do is go through the motions and fake it. If you have other friends and family, spend time with them.
Don't call your husband back. It will only bug him and he doesn't sound like he has much of a conscience so you won't even be able to lay a guilt trip on him.
I promise you, it will get easier. You will realize that he is not the person you THOUGHT you married. The person you thought you married would never treat you this way. Grieve for the person you lost and recognize it will take time. I'd be willing to bet that in a few years he will be dumping her too. He's a cheat and they seldom change.
2007-12-24 14:07:49 · answer #3 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off: DO NOT call him EVER again. This guy didn't even have the nerve to tell you to your face that he was no longer in love with you, he had to do it in a letter. That's cowardly!! You deserve someone sooooo MUCH better. Someone with more respect to you and the years you've put into the relationship. I know you have no interest in dating right now but you need to know that you deserve someone much better than that, you'll find him someday. You need to pick up yourself and move on, you don't need him to make you happy. Pick up a new hobby, go out with friends...and NEVER contact the bastar* again! (unless there's a child involved but you didn't mention one so I'm assuming there's not)
As for Christmas, spend it with family. If there's none I'm sure you've got tons of supportive friends that feel like family that would let you join in on the celebrations...whenever you start to think of him, go into the bathroom, look in the mirror and realize that he left the best thing he will ever have...and when he does realize that you'll be happy with your life not even thinking about him. You're worth more than he is, don't ever forget that!
2007-12-24 14:14:07 · answer #4 · answered by Ruthie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please try to look at all the good things that you have in your life to be grateful for, children, family, good health etc. A broken heart does mend but is often so hard during the holidays.Would you ever trust him again after this? Maybe he did you a favor-I always say when one door closes another one opens. Have an open mind and an open heart perhaps some else is right around the corner. Have a wonderful holiday!
2007-12-24 14:09:44 · answer #5 · answered by Lunaeclipz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all do things we regret out of emotional need/dependency, time for you to move on, which you already know. There is no going back, and really, why would you want to knowing what he is...he will cheat on all the women he is with in time, he is a cheater and they never change.
You need to see friends and family, join a club, volunteer at a hospital or nursing home or zoo or museum and find new interests and also keep a personal journal, that saved my life...write in it as often as you wish and write down all your feelings; it is wonderful therapy and it really works.
2007-12-24 14:07:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Christmas can be a tough time if we are not with the ones we love.
This guy isn't worth taking up space inside of your heart.
You need to go spend Christmas with the other people in your life that have cared about you throughout this whole time he wasted your time. You know the ones you stopped spending time with or because you wanted to spend it with him.
Go out and on Christmas with small random gifts and pass them out to people you meet and see the cheer you bring them. This will lift your mood.
Your heart will mend in time, but you have to fill it with new good memories.
2007-12-24 14:14:50 · answer #7 · answered by heartsarebad 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What would you say to you if you read your question.I am thinking that you want empathy and not answers. The fact is that **** happens, It is part of life.
If you want to make things better, stay away from relationships and concentrate on you. Be a better person. Add strength to your defination as a woman. Then, Good Luck!
2007-12-24 14:27:31 · answer #8 · answered by jeff shaffer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the one keeping this thing alive, and it is making you very unhappy. DO NOT call him again, EVER! If he calls you, hang up! If you move on, you'll be ready to really enjoy Christmas next year.
2007-12-24 14:07:06 · answer #9 · answered by Terri J 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
all the drama
move on
2007-12-24 14:04:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋