My wife and I have been married 3 years. We have a 6-month old baby. I just found out that she is having an affair. She has been having the affair for over a year (yes, while she was pregnant!).
The guy she is having the affair with is also married and has 2 young children. As far as I know, he and his wife are still together.
My question is this: should I tell his wife that her husband is having this extended affair with my wife? If so, how? If not, why not?
2007-12-24 05:05:28 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I've never talked to his wife before, but I have talked with him occasionally (though not for several months).
2007-12-24 13:56:06 · update #1
Another way of phrasing this - what's the honorable thing to do? I feel like I'm in the middle of a really awful, dishonest situation, and I'd like to do the honorable thing, especially in terms of my child and his wife and two kids.
2007-12-26 14:53:03 · update #2
I think you should tell her. She has a right to know what is going on behind her back. Thankfully you found out. They both need to decide between their marriage or their affair. No one should tolerate infidelity. What's more pathetic is the fact that you guys have such a small child. They are both scum.
2007-12-24 05:12:21 · answer #1 · answered by alabize 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be smart!
One, have your child 's DNA checked while you still have control.
Two, interview and hire an attorney.
Three, find an apartment and make plans to care for your child while you are at work.
Four, get the moving truck and friends to help you with the move.
Five, when your wife (tongue in cheek) is not there move.
Six, that night have dinner with her parents. You are not the bad guy. Tell them what you know. Tell your parents now.
Seven, leave her a note and wish her good luck with her married friend.
Eight, do not talk to her again. Tell her to call your attorney.
You made a bad choice. **** happens. Go on from here on a better foundation.
2007-12-24 05:27:52 · answer #2 · answered by jeff shaffer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why wouldn't you? Don't you think she has a right to know? The actions of her husband and your wife put you in this position. Marriage is on a whole other level than just dating. You all took vows before GOD. Doesn't that mean anything to anyone anymore? How to go about it well, just be straight up with her. If she doesn't believe you, hey; You tried. You can still handle your business with your wife. I would file for divorce, Petition the the court for a DNA test, and file for FULL custody of your child. If you don't please believe she'll be in court doing it to you, and sticking you with child support. Sorry to say, she's damaged goods. Your marriage will never be the same. Be a man, man and end this foolishness. She was sleeping with this dude with your baby in her stomach! If that doesn't say F U, I don't know what does. They have to be responsible for their actions. You are not being irrational, or a hater; They knew what they were getting into and didn't care about anyone or anything else. Let them have each other. In the mean time, you move on and take your baby with you.
Feel me?
2007-12-24 05:36:06 · answer #3 · answered by Califiyah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your wife is having an affair with a married man you have been married for 3 years to this woman and she has been cheating on you right. if i were you i wouldnt tell his wife anything it will all come out sooner or later. Having affir while having your child is very disrespectful and you till want to be with your wife because of your child or because your in love with her. Do waht ever will make you happy this is your decission not mines.
best of luck
2007-12-24 14:03:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I almost always think the less you say the better. However, this time there are two marriages being violated and children are involved. I would tell his wife in a very non-confrontational way what your wife is doing and whose husband she's doing it with. She needs to protect herself and her children and she can't do that if she doesn't know what's going on.
2007-12-24 06:55:57 · answer #5 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, get a paternity test. Make sure this child is yours. I'm sorry, but it's possible.
If you choose to tell his wife, make sure you have concrete evidence such as; photos, video, audio, lots of e-mails, etc.
She may not believe you and may be pissed that you brought this to her attention. When you do tell her, do it in a non-confrontational fashion. Such as dropping a package with all the evidence inside at her work, or if you know her, "run" into her at the store and do the same with the package.
2007-12-24 05:14:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just file for the divorce, tell your wife she is a well you know what. That's just so messed up that your wife was cheating an you like that even when you two had a baby. Are you sure the baby is yours??
2007-12-24 05:11:32 · answer #7 · answered by blondie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I would!!!
What right would he have to blow your marriage while making sure his is going on smoothly ?
Nope, I'd ring the doorbell and tell her. Right on her doorstep.
She'd be free to do what she wants about the news, but, there's no way I'd try to protect a cheating wife and her lover!!!
They made their bed, let them lie in it.
As for the married woman, why would you take part in the scam and carry on as if all was normal.
The situation is not normal. And if she's been lying to herself and put her head in the sand then that was her choice.
but, this absess has to be pierced!
Good luck!!
2007-12-24 05:22:50 · answer #8 · answered by Kc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what you want but consider this... Do you have anythin against this guy's wife or kids? Their relationship is non of your business. You want to get back at him but you will hurt them in the process. Deal with your own problems. Maybe you can work it out with your wife. I'm guessing if you are the type of guy who would be vindictive and try to hurt this other guys family you wouldn't be able to work it out with your wife.
2007-12-24 05:12:12 · answer #9 · answered by Joe B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should find out if the baby is his also. you can call the wife and tell her what you know. you can confront your wife and tell her to tell him what you and that he better tell his wife or you will. but before during any of this HAVE PROOF to show the wife. or you and the wife can observe them at a certain place. when you know that you wife is with him and you know where they are call his wife and tell her that you want to take her somewhere to show her something. GodBless
2007-12-24 05:19:44 · answer #10 · answered by Crystal G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋