Top 10 Questions for the coming 2012 Disasters?

Question

2012, when the Alien-Maya-Nostradamian vectors coincide with the alignment of Jupiter and Venus in Libra bringing about an era of extreme change not seen since the dawning of the Age of Aquarius, will see the collision of Earth with an unknown planet twice the size of Jupiter, currently hidden behind the Sun. What I want to know is:

1) How many MRE’s will I need to feed my extended family while the dust settles?
2) Should I close my IRA’s and take the penalty for early withdrawal?
3) How much ammo will I need to defend my MRE’s from the unprepared?
4) Can I be mayor?
5) Will I still have to recycle in 2013?
6) Does anyone know whether tin-foil hats will be on sale in late 2012?
7) How long can I expect my running shoes to last in air full of smoke and dust?
8) Will I have to give my paperboy a Christmas present in 2012?
9) Should I change all my Pesos to Euros or into Rubles?
10) If nothing happens, ala Y2K, will there be a market for my MRE’s and tin-foil hats?

Merry Christmas, Y’all!!

Answer 1

Skip the MREs and get trade goods. I recommend ammunition, alcohol, and hashish. You'll be ready for almost any problem. Any problem that the ammo can't solve, the alcohol will.

Answer 2

1)None buy twinkies you will be fine
2) Sure but you will only recieve about 60% of it after taxes
3) Ammunition and Gunstry to keep to the small stuff, bigger guns will hold you back, from jumping around and being all Rambo like. But I will be at the Subway.
4) You can if We like you enough
5) Recycle, whats it going to hurt, why not right?
6) No but I can produce them for you $5 and Shipping and Handling
7) I would say about a year, then just go to the payless or footlocker get another pair
8) Yes, give him a Mcdonalds gift card
9) Come on even if it was the Apocalypse we all know Rubles and Pesos still arent worth anything.
10)Yes at the special school that has all the short school bus's

Merry Christmas You and Everyone Else

Answer 3

1. Depends on the size of the family and how many are teenage boys. Figure 2-3 per person perday for 10 years
2: Yes
3: Quite a bit. Figure 5000 rounds per year at a min
4: Yes but your wife will still be in charge
5: Yes. Its called survival
6: Yes they will. Get the good ones though.. the cheapies will let in some of the radiation that will be magnified from the Galactic core.
7: Still replace them them after every 500 miles....though the heat from global warming might shorten thier life
8: A new tin foil hat
9: Gold my good man gold
10: Yes for the MREs..always a war going on and the tin foil hats can be recycled
Merry Christmas and a Happy next four years...

Answer 4

1) Zero, since the Earth wold be destroyed in your scenario
2) Take it out today and spend it all. Live life to the fullest, why worry about tomorrow when there isn't a reason?
3) No need for ammo, remember...everyone would be dead in your scenario
4) mayor or a burnt crisp rock?
5)everything will be recycled...solar furnace
6) there will he mass hording and price gouging, I advise you buy all you can now and invest in tin/ aluminum mining companies so you can have all of the supply locked up and charge people 1,000,000.00 a sheet when the big rock is about to start its crunching
7) they will be melted on impact
8) Give him a check for a billion dollars...he wont have time to cash it
10) Definitely, its always a good investment to throw everything into pre millenium hysteria


ANd Remember to have your TOWEL !

Answer 5

Don't forget the towels -- you are going to need towels...

Answer 6

hahahahahahahaha!!