like calling her names & stuff? saying mean stuff, then be nicer the next day.until he erupts again..?
.is this normal?
2007-12-24 03:57:27 · 21 answers · asked by snozzberries 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Are you kidding I think it's fre@ken second nature. I'm getting ready to through it back at mine. Merry Christmas
2007-12-24 08:50:02 · answer #1 · answered by jdydewing 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I suppose it depends on the relationship, and the type of man she married. Nobody is entirely perfect, obviously, and people can erupt in anger. The first year of marriage is often escpecially tough on a marriage, because you go through things you've never had to go through before (even little things like sharing a bathroom can have an effect!).
What degree is this "meanness" at? I mean, if it's an occassional tiff between the couple, it's obviously quite normal. Name-calling, however, is a lot more damaging than just an argument about something. Name-calling isn't normal. Ecspecially on a regular basis. The cycle you describe is a cycle of an abusive relationship. The abuser does cruel and mean things, as you described, but the next day is overly kind, giving you flowers, or even just acting very nice. He or she becomes normal again, until their rage begins building up again and causes another incident of cruelty.
I hate to quote Dr. Phil here, but I have a bit from his website you might like to see. The page I cited below describes signs of an emotionally abusive relationship--one of the items on the list is "Continually criticizing you, calling you names, shouting at you". Take a look at his list, and see if this is what you're describing.
If you're talking about a relationship that you're in right now, then you should seek help. Talk to a counsellor, and check your facts with someone you can trust. If you're in an abusive relationship, you NEED to get help, and the abuser needs to get healthy.
Good luck, all the best, etc.!
2007-12-24 12:07:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it's not something is wrong as to what degree I don't have enough information on that and I think I'd be prompted to find out.
So much to the point that I wouldn't ask him about it unless you have someone in the next room that could take him down if need be. Or try something else that you would feel save, Something is wrong, I would have to check the odometer to see if he's just going other places, other than home and work.
I'd drive to his job and note the milage both ways and sit and watch where he's going I'd check how warm the hood of the car is with your hand and the same with the muffler.
If he said he stayed at home the entire time when you said you'd be back from a friends house or what ever and the muffler is ho or warm when you get back then he lied.
I'd check pockets of unworn clothes in the closet and drawers.
At any rate some checking would be going on thank you for your question be safe Dear!
2007-12-24 12:11:13 · answer #3 · answered by Tony Burke 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes and no. It's normal if he's a child in an adult body, has a warped sense of a husband's responsibilities and role, AND somehow learned this dysfunctional behavior.
For a mature, adult male of COURSE it's not normal. Nor is it right and, were you my daughter, I'd tell you to refuse to accept his behavior. What do you do? Separate yourself from him. either tell him to leave and not come back until he learns how adults behave or you leave and not return until he does the hard work of growing up.
Now, I'll tell you that when you start talking about what you are going to do, he'll beg and plead, promise to NEVER do it again (which promise isn't worth a tinker's damn), accuse you of causing him to be mean, he may accuse you of cheating on him, and other things, all of which don't amount to a hill of beans. It's ALL about him and his behavior and NONE of it is about you.
How do I know abou this stuff? Took similar childish behavior from a wife for 14 years. Act now!!
2007-12-24 12:10:20 · answer #4 · answered by DelK 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No...I don't think it's normal to treat someone like dirt. Calling you names and hurting your feelings is unacceptable. However, there are days where you or your spouse are going to take out bad moods on each other. That is normal and it happens to the best of us. I personally would not tolerate being called names by my husband. There is a fine line between a grouch and an as$hole.
2007-12-24 12:00:40 · answer #5 · answered by Kaylynn 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No this considered to be verbal abuse. Fi I were you I would consider getting divorce because urusally it will exalate from verbal to physical. Even it is just verbal it can afect your self esteem and at one point begin to have fears of him.Even if you have childern hearing the insults made to you will affect the kids even more in the the future then to get a divorce.
2007-12-24 12:02:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it is normal. Everyone has bad days and gets angry and says things they don't mean but if this is something that is happening all the time then I would say NO not normal and not healthy. Its got a name and its called verbal abuse.
2007-12-24 12:00:41 · answer #7 · answered by luckyme 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, that is not normal. If, someone is doing that to another Human Being, I don't care if it is his wife. There is no need to behave that way. That person, needs help. I would get out now, before it turns to violence and then the hitting and worse happens. Season Greetings.
2007-12-24 12:00:58 · answer #8 · answered by That one 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would be normal if he was raised to be disrespectful to his wife.
Regardless of the problems in a marriage, nobody should be disrespectful to his/her partner. Respect is the basis of all relationships.
2007-12-24 12:19:25 · answer #9 · answered by David G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do not think so.that not the way your husband should be treating at all I would be getting a divorce right away when I get tire If I was you.
2007-12-24 12:02:14 · answer #10 · answered by Carebear22 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋