How is this poem...................?

Question

Pale yellow walls imprison
elemental rooms empitied of life
replaced by dead wood coloured furniture
without scratches without scars
An orderly perfection neatly kept
Nothing unknown nor was new
No realms nor corners remains unexplored
in my boring house

Then one cloudy day, I stumbled upon a door
below the dusty carpet floor
when opened which peered my eyes
into the dark setting below
and I discovering
a mysterious room
I had never seen before

Descending into the mysterious room
resembled a gradual rebellion
for all I have known
each curious step led a profound urge
uncovering a forced inhibition
each curious step led darkness
to disappear giving way to natural light

each breath brought the unknown scent
to a familiar taste

first black and white milky figures
swirling round a circular room
twisting each other till
splitting into a rainbow array

The magical room
filled with colouful play and fun
never known before

The magical room
words of wondrous love and spells
painted everywhere

Rosy soft and cotton cushions
to dream peacefully upon
in the mysterious room
whose existence
I never knew before

Again and again
I come to explore the farout reaches
of this mysterious room
To swim in deep oceans
To search for treasures hidden below
My world beneath the blankets
hidden to everyone but me

One day during my usual wanderings
in the magical room
I got lost admist the many shapes and colors
Found myself in a treacherous maze
eyes could sparingly see
past the dense and dark haze
I fall while scurrying to search for myself
deeper into the unknown
fighting and fearing for my own dear life
I glimpsed a faint yellow light
coming form the creak of a door
which I opened

Alas, I had escaped from the magical room
and ended up in the next story far from my house

its pretty long so i'll give you the main idea. A kid thinks he knows his house and finds it boring. Then one day he finds this mysterious room in his house which he has never seen before. he visits the place frequently and one day he gets lost. Trying to find an exit he stumbles upon a door which leads him out of the room and into the world.

Answer 1

A fantastically weird poem.
Sounds occaisionally like a ten-year-old's story, but more often than not, like beautiful Keats. Also, it sounds like it has been translated literally from another language, if this effect is intended, then it is a great way to add mystery to the poem's meaning.
I think the worst thing you did was to explain the the poem at the end. Beautiful poems live on having multiple meanings (for example, the house could represent the boy's life, he finds it boring, but one day does something which makes him love his life again, then towards the end of his life he realises that his new life was not real and returns to his old life which he now finds interesting, appreciating the things which he couldn't do in his new life.) so for you to explain it suggested it had only one, rather boring meaning.

This is the most interesting poem I've ever read on yahoo answers. Fantastic.

Answer 2

Good.
You repeat the word "room" with its accompanying
adjective too much... it is so clear it needs no
repetition. Go wth the previous crit completely..

The ending might turn around to the yellow light
being his original room which he now loves...
try that one on.

Of course you will change "which peered my eyes"

To search widely and return to the beginning
is a strong theme in a couple of great poems.
Your ending is good too, of course.

Answer 3

Long.

Answer 4

great!!!