Rape fantasy?

Question

I have heard many women tell me that they have a rape fantasy. Not one of the violence and brutalizing. More of a loss of control to someone. Is this common? My wife has told me that she has had this before. I am trying to understand this.

Thanks for all the great input so far. I never realized just how common this is. I thought it had to do more with the loss of control and being taken. Everybody have a great Christmas. Justlilme, your welcome for the answer to your question.

Answer 1

If you look on women's romantic erotica websites like http://www.ellorascave.com , their tips for writers suggest that "forced seduction" scenes and male domination over the heroine are among their best selling stories...

No one really wants to be raped for real, b/c if it's rape then that implies it is unwanted. The women who have rape fantasies want to feel like they are so sexy that the man they secretly love will simply have to "take" them - with the focus being on the woman's pleasure, of course.

If your wife told you her secret fantasies, I think she was hinting that she would like you to take charge in the bedroom one night!

Answer 2

dedum is right, none of the refered articles mention that an actual rape victim has rape fantasies after being raped in reality. Unless you are talking about victims of child sexual abuse. But nothing about adult women and men who have been the victim of an adult on adult rape. Here is what wiki said: Regardless, the presence of rape fantasies in a community or individual cannot be taken to imply that the fantasizers in reality condone rape, desire to rape others, or wish to be raped themselves. While actual rape is an act of control with sex being the chosen medium of that control, and by its nature exclusively an act of the rapist, rape fantasy is essentially sexual and indulged in from both the point of view of the rapist and, even more frequently, the victim. Despite the sexual appeal of rape fantasy, there is a substantial number of people who indulge primarily in the power play aspect of rape fantasy. the key word here is fantasy, NOT actual rape. This part is about the ravishing fantasy, which is probably much closer to what people are actually thinking when they think rape fantasy. I would also like to know if the asker misread something (like the above) and mis-undrstood the content of whatever they were reading. A person may have had a rape/ravish fantasy before being raped, but I seriously doubt that a rape victim would ever feel that way. Now, it is documented that victims of sexual abuse as children will later transfer it to a rape fantasy, but I what I want to know is where women or men who have suffered a rape as an adult will then have rape fantasies? wiki quote about the later: "It has been proposed that for some who have actually been sexually abused, rape fantasy may be a way to heal past wounds by exploring in a safe environment with a sense of control." If the asker is asking about that, there is a book you can read. Dr. Michael J. Bader, author of "Arousal: The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies"

Answer 3

Yeah, it's common.

The forbidden fruit usually is tempting. You know, wanting and/or doing something you're not supposed to.

Dominance is exciting to many females, but most females will only ever fantasize about extreme dominance, or, if they do decide to live out the fantasy, it will normally be with someone they trust because they still want to know that they are going to be safe.

I think a lot of it has to do with the female maintaining her innocence, as well. She doesn't really feel guilty because she is the victim, in a sense. If, however, she was the one doing the "victimizing" she wouldn't be so innocent and the turn on probably wouldn't be there. Of course, some people do get off on domincance; but that's a whole other story.

Answer 4

Ok heres the thing....I dont think any woman would like the thought of rape....or at least I dont...the thought of it makes me want to hide and never be around a man again...but hey thats just me.....anyhow as far as the loss of control thing...that is a huge turn on, being held down or threw around alittle...not in a hurtful way just to where the guy is in control.

Answer 5

Some women have this need to be "forced" to submit sexually to a more dominant male. This can take the form of submitting to semi-forced sex, or actual BDSM style slavery where they live out a continuous lifestyle serving the male in their lives in every way. Having a bit of experience in this area, I can tell you to proceed carefully and find out all of the details from your significant other before attempting this. Sometimes fantasy is best left as fantasy. Check out these sites.

Answer 6

Not a brutal one, but yeah, that's pretty common. Just knowing that the man is in charge is so sexy.......this is where the tying up comes into play.....not knowing what they're gonna do next and they control the whole thing for a moment.....every woman wants to so desired....maybe that's what I'm trying to say...that STRONG desire that they have to have to you right now.........gosh, I'm getting lightheaded thinking about this......thanks for your answer to my question today about wax/shave........have a great christmas sweetie

Answer 7

I can say honestly that I have not ever had any rape fantasies...but I have heard that a lot of women do....It really is about losing control to someone....but it isn't a fantasy that they want to make a reality

Answer 8

I wouldn't really call it a rape fantasy, but more wanting your partner to take control and be dominating. I have that same fantasy, its nice to be sweet and romantic, and is FCUKIN AWESOME to have this dominating animal in the bed. ;)

Some people may be into like rape role play, i dunno, but I think from what you've said here, your wife wants to have you like rip her clothes off, and just take her with wild passion and abandon. man... You might really have to work up to it though. Nothin like a ruined fantasy. lol


Role play is really hot, if you do it right and within what the other is comfortable with.

Answer 9

If you men fantasize raping a woman other than your wife, don't you think the same goes in the mind of women? It's just a fantasy!

Answer 10

Yes but only with a person they love and trust- they don't mean they would like a total stranger to rape them. She is perhaps asking you to be a bit more assertive/rough in the bedroom- she wants you to be in control.