that their father will never come back (he left, and dosent communicate, and dosent even pay child support) he has never payed a dime for my daughters expenses, i payed for everything, he was gone by the time she was 2, now shes 12, i remarry and my new husband is an excelent father figure and cares very much for the both of us, he wishes she would call him dad or at least pops, but she still loves her dad very much and feels like shes betraying him, shes content with my relationship and our new family, but she still has very hard times, specially on her birthday and holidays accepting the fact that her dad is never around, what can i tell her that would make her feel better??
2007-12-24 03:26:56 · 6 answers · asked by suehellen 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tell her he died trying to bring vaccine to a village of eskimos who were in danger of contracting smallpox. He died a hero and his last words were to tell his daughter and wife he loved them.
2007-12-27 15:30:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well,it may not make her feel better, but you need to explain to her that all through life we encounter people who have treated us badly. It's our job to learn to leave those people out of our lives and to keep the ones who love us and have stuck by us close to us.
She needs to learn that she owes her dad nothing. She needs to learn to appreciate those who have always been there for her and who have stuck by her all these years.
Someone needs to explain to her that just because a person makes a child doesn't make them a real mother or father. It's what they do, it's the love and support they give, it's the sticking my us and raising us that makes a true parent.
She is hanging on to this fantasy of how her dad is and someone needs to give her a reality check on who he is and the fact that he hasn't been a dad to her her whole life. Once she can understand that she can move past all of this and realize that blood is not the end all be all of family. Family are those people who stick it out, stick around, and love us no matter what.
2007-12-24 05:03:44 · answer #2 · answered by az_mommma 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get family counseling. It sounds like your husband is supportive, so it can only help.
My friend had similar situation, where the father was abusive and my friend and her 4 year-old daughter left. When the girl was 13, she wanted to see her father and my friend let her. She came back disillusioned, as the father ignored her (as he had for many years) and she finally realized he didn't want to know her. It was a sad wake-up call.
Hope you can work it out, good luck.
2007-12-24 05:58:58 · answer #3 · answered by Countess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit with her and explain to her everything in simple a manner as you can... talk to her.. ask her about her insecurities ... and make her realize what a good step father she has.. also if she insists tell her that when she grows up.. she can go to her father and ask him of his absence in her life for this long.. I think communication is the key... she needs to be made realized....
2007-12-24 03:42:27 · answer #4 · answered by shystar_fish 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A child of two would not have such strong feelings unless you unknowingly put them there. If you dont feel you're able to explain the situation, please seek help from a professional counselor for her sake..........and your family as a whole. It's not reasonable for her to feel as she does.
+ You will all soon be entering her puberty years. If you feel she has problems now, it will only become worse. BELIEVE IT!
2007-12-24 03:42:49 · answer #5 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Tell her when she is 18, she can find him - and ask HIM all these questions.
2007-12-24 03:34:06 · answer #6 · answered by that judi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋