Okay, I'm having a scheduled c-section next Thursday.
I was speaking to my mom today and she told me that my aunt said she was going to stay with me for a week to help out with my baby. Honestly, I don't want anyone to move in with me. My husband will be off for 3 weeks so its not like I won't have anyone to help me around the house.
How could she just volunteer herself? No one asked me if that was okay. Theres already going to be a lot of people at the hospital. The last I would want is to be bothered when I get home too. I know this will be a joyous time for my family but I just want it to be me, my husband, and our baby, at least for the first 2 weeks or so. Any advice?
Plus, my aunt smokes...
2007-12-24 02:17:27 · 13 answers · asked by vanillacream753 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Tell the aunt exactly what you just told us. I don't blame you at all but you have got to tell her. Like this:
Aunt ______, Mom told me that you planned on staying with us for a week when the baby is born, I love you and I hope I don't hurt your feelings but really we would like for it to just be us for awhile. You are welcome to visit us but we just don't want anyone living with us.
It is that simple.
Congratulations on the baby.
2007-12-24 03:06:58 · answer #1 · answered by ROBIN T 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, first of all congrats. Second of all tell your aunt it was nice of her to volunteer but no thank you. Tell her that you just want your husband and you and the baby and make that clear. Tell her its your time to bond as a family because it is. You need some time after you get out of the hospital to just be you and your husband and the baby. You need to be able to relax and be a family. You need to explain that all to her so that she understands. Moving in with you though is not helping. You already will have enough to do when the baby arrives. Well, what about I do not know if you get along with her but if you do what about her coming after your husband goes back to work one day to see the baby. Thats a compromise. If you do not get along with her I would not do that however. Make sure that she understands that she is not to smoke in the house or anywhere else near the baby. Though take the weeks that your husband is out of work just for your family. Thats the best thing you can do.
2007-12-24 02:32:35 · answer #2 · answered by Caitlin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can completely understand how you feel! i would call your aunt, and explain to her that although you are very thankful that she is willing to take a week of her time to assist you, it's really not necessary and your husband will be there to help. That you think it would be best if you and your husband get through this time w/out any crutches that may prevent you from getting on a normal schedule from the beginning. I'm sure no matter what you say you aunt will probably try to say oh its no bother i'd love to come and try to come anyways but be sweet, loving and firm...... tell her maybe after your husband returns to work her help would be better used. (knowing that by then you will be in a great routine and will be able to handle things on your own) Hope this helps! and goodluck! Congrats!!! and Merry Christmas!!!
2007-12-24 02:24:25 · answer #3 · answered by alicia m 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Call your Aunt up and kindly ask that she not move in as you do not need the help because Hubby will be there. It is really the only thing you can do as this is YOUR child! Just make sure that your ENTIRE family understands that though this is a very exciting time, you will be very exhausted and in pain after delivery...tell them they can visit but to call first and not pop up. Remeber, in order to take care of the baby, you have to take care of yourself!!!!!!!! Not only will you have family up the wazzoo at the hospital, you may not get much of any rest (when you wake up after the c-section) due to baby keeping you up and the nurses CONSTANTLY in and out of the room! I remember that as soon as I'd fall asleep, they'd be in my room either checkign me or checkign the baby. I was more exhausted in the hospital than I was out. Good Luck!
2007-12-24 02:29:14 · answer #4 · answered by LosersSuck 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
tel you aunt thanks but no thanks. your husband will be off work you guys canhandle it. i'm sure she'll be like i don't mind and thats when you gotta kinda pretty say but you do. just tell her that you want these few weeks to be calm and you just wanna spend this time with your new family. when i had my daughter it was ok i gues when people would visit. its just some would stay an hour or more and that was annoying. hospital visits should be limited. when i got home i changed my voice mail to say yes i had my baby its a girl 20 inches long 7 lbs 5.4oz we are taking this time to rest and relax and bond plz leave a message and i'll call you back when we are ready. everyone totally understood. i put a sign on the door with basicly the same message and just relaxed with just me and the baby for a week pretty much locked up int he bedroom.
2007-12-24 02:27:15 · answer #5 · answered by Kimi 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is your baby, your family-period. You have every right to speak up and say something. This is your special time with your new little family! No one has the right to take that special time away from you. And no, it is not ok for them to just tell you they are coming over. Smoking would be completely out of the question...You have enough to deal with and I'm sure you are wanting to just be able to focus on your precious little one. It's one thing to volunteer,,,but then the ball would be in your court to accept or decline. If it were me, I would tell my mom...exactly how I feel and let her be the one to inform your aunt since she is the one who told you about your aunt. If that didn't work, I would have to call my aunt-and in a nice way...tell her that I really appreciated her volunteering to come help-but that me and my husband have it under control and are really looking forward to the "alone" time in celebration of your new baby and trying to get your life in to a new schedule. It's going to be hard enough trying to adjust w/a new baby,,, and the last thing you want to do is feel like you have to entertain or babysit your aunt. I completely know what you are talking about! All of our family is from out of town,,,so we're still trying to figure out what is going to take place for us. Good luck to you!
2007-12-24 02:40:05 · answer #6 · answered by Love is in the air. . . 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes just tell the truth and let your aunt know ahead of time so she won't come to the hospital with her bags packed. although the thought of someone else coming over to help you guys out sounds good you do want to just take that time out and just chill at home with your husband and baby. plus if she smokes you don't want that around your baby or his/her things your baby is suppose to smell like baby powder not smoke. your clothes and everything else stinks when smoke gets in them.
2007-12-24 02:28:45 · answer #7 · answered by finally a girl 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i can totally relate! i am sorry you are having to deal with this at what should be a joyful time. i would contact your aunt and tell her that you are flattered that she is willing ot help, but that you and your husband have it under control. tell her she is welcome to come by and visit.
you shouldn't have to have anyone there that you don't want there. it is YOUR time. if you would rather not have everyone at the hospital, speak up now as well. tell them that this is something you would like to share with just your husband, and that you are afraid you won't feel up to visitors. tell them you will have your husband call as soon as the baby is born and you will let them all know when you are ready for visitors.
2007-12-24 02:23:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Set up boundries. This is the time to do it.
Sounds like she wants to feel useful and needed. I suggest you call her and tell her you heard that she wants to help you and your husband out. Then say something like I am so grateful for your help but can I take a raincheck? Explain that you want to try things out yourself, before getting help that you know you might eventually need, but just aren't ready for. (Make it about YOU, not her) Then tell her that you look forward to her visiting after a few weeks or maybe looking after the baby one night when you and hubby need to have a date or something. :)
When she's there remind her gently that smoking is not allowed in your house and that you ask everyone to wash their hands before holding or feeling baby.
2007-12-24 02:28:54 · answer #9 · answered by daisee1203 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Just tell the truth! say you want it to be a special time for just you your husband and the baby. say u will cope fine and if u do need help u will call. at the end of the day its your baby and you'll only get the first few weeks together once so they should understand
2007-12-24 02:22:01 · answer #10 · answered by Ashley 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋