I'm 17 weeks pregnant today.My boyfriend and I have been together 2 1/2 years and it was clear when we first met that we were meant to be together. When I found out I was pregnant, I was 10 weeks. I told my bf and the first thing that came out of his mouth was to abort it.I was completely shocked to hear this from him. I told me family and they were so excited about it, more than I really was to be honest. He didn't want to tell his parents yet. He has already a 5 year old but he lives with his mother. After I decided to keep the baby, that's when all of the arguing started. It even got to the point where he told me he hated me and I left to stay with my family for a while. We have an apartment together and we both have our own car payments and credit cards. He has been so cold hearted towards me and has said some pretty nasty things to me. At times he has even ignored me. So about 2 weeks ago we really got into it and I left to stay with my mom in Georgia(he stays in FL). He still
2007-12-24 02:09:45 · 39 answers · asked by Yessssss 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
wants me to do the abortion. Telling me that we can have another one in about 2 years when we get our bills taken care of and when we are stable. I thought about it also it kind of makes since but I'm too far along to do that and I'm so scared of messing up my body. He told his parent when I was 3 months and they aren't to fond of it but they said its my decision and they are there either way for me. the other day he was telling me that if I keep the baby then he is going back to NY. So it's pretty much like he's going to leave me if I decide to keep the baby. I'm just so scared and confused I don't know what to do. And if you have anything negative to say don't say it at all because I'm not here to be judged, i'm just seeking advise. Because personally I don't care what you think about me because all that matters is how I feel.
2007-12-24 02:20:58 · update #1
THIS IS WHAT YOUR BABY LOOKS LIKE http://www.3dpregnancy.com/calendar/17-weeks-pregnant.html
SCREW HIM. HE CAN PAY CHILD SUPPORT!
2007-12-24 02:14:18 · answer #1 · answered by Jenn 4 · 12⤊ 1⤋
It's so far along that you will have a hard time finding a doctor who would do an abortion. You want to keep the baby. That is clear. If you abort or put up for adoption, you will forever regret it. I can tell this just by what you wrote. It sounds like you have a supportive family. You can do this whether the man is with you or not. It is possible that the guy will come to his senses sooner or later. I do believe it's important to come to a compromise with the man, and work things out, but maybe he just needs more time to let this all sink in. Have you had a conversation with him that didn't involve arguing? Try talking to him again, but very calmly, and let him know how much he means to you, and how you planned on having children with him in the future, so if you aborted this one, it would leave a hole in you for the rest of your life. Sometimes, if you phrase things just right, they can really hit home for men. I would just keep letting him know that it will all be okay, but tell him that the insults are very hurtful and you know he doesn't mean them.
2007-12-24 03:14:00 · answer #2 · answered by Karla 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honestly and I know this is going to be hard to hear but you need to leave him and keep the baby. What he is doing is not right. Abortion is plain wrong. Think of how you would feel down the line or telling your next boyfriend or a friend you meet etc. Don't abort the baby and leave this guy immediately. If my boyfriend of that long got me pregnant and then told me to abort the child I would honestly tell him to go screw himself pick up and leave. I would keep the child and have him pay child support for the child etc. You have your own car and credit card as well. Your parents seem thrilled. You can do this on your own. Find someone who will love you and your baby. Who will be nice to you and only say nice things. What you should do is leave him immediately and keep the baby.
2007-12-24 02:24:17 · answer #3 · answered by Caitlin 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
1st of all when u are seeking advice u should espect to hear somethings u may not like otherwise u are not truly being open to advice.
2nd of all.. even if your boyfriend has good reasons not to keep this baby, he should not treat you bad or say mean things to you just because u are unsure yourself. A good man someone u would want to share a child with or get married to or waste time on would not be cold hearted to you and love you enough to be there for you instead of being "nasty."
Only you know whats best in this situation. I can understand he scared of having another kid because he already has one. Im sure child support scares him just as well. Does he even pay child support for his 1st child? Does he see that child at all? All those clues should tell you something abt him. You did not get pregnant all by yourself!
Keeping the baby or not is totally up to you. U will not regret having your child sounds like u have a lot of support from your family but it is a BIG BIG thing to decide and your life will never be the same ever again in both good and bad ways.
Good luck and blessed be.
2007-12-24 03:43:16 · answer #4 · answered by missology 101 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
17 weeks...9 chances out of 10 you will not even be able to abort if you wanted to as most doctors do not perform the procedure after 12 weeks! This is a really messed up situation and I an very sorry you are having to go through this. It sounds as if your BF needs to grow up! Truth is, NO ONE is every ready to have a baby nor ever has enough money. I think the time to have kids is when you are young and able to put all your energy into raising and providing for them! My husband and I are expecting our first together (he has a 5yr old son and I a 2 yr old daughter). His son lives with his mother and my daughter with us of course...things get tight but we always have faith and make it! We have been together for 2 years and tried (still trying) to clean up our credit and take care of bills...child or no child, that is NO easy task! I managed to raise my daughter on my own for a year...I had electricity, water, rent, car insurance, 3 credit cards, a new baby....I managed it on my own because her father left for less responsibility. In all honesty, it is his loss and if your BF is dumb enough to leave then it will be his as well, not yours nor your childs because chances are you guys are better off! I know my daughter and I are!!!!!! Sit him down and talk to him seriously. Ask him why he feels so strongly about not having a child now. Explain to him that it is too late to abort and that no one is ever ready for this responsibility....that you guys may be in the place in 2 years! The whole thing with him may be an underlying issue. I mean you said he has a 5 year old...consider what happened in that relationship and maybe that is why him and his family have reacted the way they have! Reasure him...sounds as if he needs it!! Also, if he does decide to leave...make sure he knows you will not let him escape his responsibility, that he will be paying child support and still taking care of the child. I mean if he stays or goes, he still has that duty!!!!!! Good luck!
2007-12-24 03:03:56 · answer #5 · answered by LosersSuck 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't abort the baby. If he really loves you then he will come around. My cousin had that same problem for a few months but now her baby father goes to all of her Dr. appointments. I am against abortions and I also feel that you waited to long. Maybe he is just scared and confused. It is your body and you only get one. You should ask him what if you do the abortion and later on when you are ready to have kids you can't? I am not here to judge you because I don't know you, the choice is yours. But ask yourself if you abort this baby can you live with that for the rest of you life, once the baby is gone they can' t come back. Good luck with your decision and I hope you make the right choice for you.
2007-12-24 03:51:08 · answer #6 · answered by Slim 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
To start off, do you think abortion is right? If the both of you have very different values, maybe you weren't meant to be together. If your boyfriend already has a child that doesn't live with him, doesn't that tell you maybe he doesn't like children? That little baby will be your bundle of joy. Maybe you can get him to turn around and understand that he was part of this too, and a child is such a beautiful thing. Its a little mountain you two can climb together. Even if your boyfriend leaves you, you will still have your baby that will love you forever. The best thing to do is pray to God to make the right decision.
2007-12-24 02:38:03 · answer #7 · answered by chocolatte 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Abortion is NOT an option at this stage of pregnancy. the only way u could is even u were at risk or the child was at risk of dying by continuing the pregnancy. so forget abortion, its not gonna happen. the choices now are adopt or keep. he wants to go back to NY. let him. go back to your family, make his *** pay child support and keep or adopt your baby whichever u want. also a 17 week abortion means u gotta go into labor and deliver the baby STILLBORN. it will traumatize u. i have nothing against abortion, but delivering a STILLBORN baby and seeing it will traumatize u, believe me. my moms friend had a abortion at 16 weeks and delivered the baby, it killed her seeing it. shes still scared for life 35 years later and brings it up all the time with tears in her eyes.
2015-09-15 06:51:34 · answer #8 · answered by amy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all congrats, second...i feel so sorry for you this is a very tough position to be in. if i were in your shoes i would have to keep the baby even if he left. it sounds like you have a very supportive family and that's a great start. your 17 weeks you'll be feeling that baby kick soon and even if you choose not to keep it think about adoption. i understand he already has a child....so how could he want to abort this one? if you keep this baby and he still skips town, you can and should collect child support until that child is 18. i hope you end up keeping it, cuz your side of the family sounds like they'd help you. so think about this is He worth ending someone else's life for???? good luck!!!!
2007-12-24 03:32:56 · answer #9 · answered by Amy 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sorry to hear he's being immauture. All you can do at this point is take care of yourself, baby included. Yes, its essentially your choice, but he does have SOME opinion...afterall it takes two. If his opinion is not what you desire then maybe its an unfortunate sign this is not the time to be together.
Try to be the best adult you can be and stick to your guns and beliefs. I know its going to be hard but lean on a higher power and loved ones to help you. And of course talk to other people. I think finding a website or message board of single moms might help you...a whole new source of support.
Offer him what you want and if he's not interested then carry on. B/c really, you have a new life, new responsibility. Sorry life hasn't worked out the way HE planned but he should try life on life's terms.
Good Luck!!
2007-12-24 02:22:56 · answer #10 · answered by daisee1203 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. I am also very glad you have your mom's support. Also pray, God is there for you...Always.
Please try to not take it in when he says mean stuff, he is probably scared and taking it out on you. Since he has a kid already, he knows how hard it can be. He probably also feels like can't even be there fully for his 5 yr old, how will he support another?
But you need to think about your baby right now. Take care of your health and do whatever you can to not be stressed over this. It is good for the baby for you to feel calm and happy. I will be thinking about you and praying for you and the baby.
2007-12-24 02:18:43 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 7⤊ 1⤋