My wife wants to have a open marriage but I don't, what should I do?

Answer 1

do it ur ways dude!

Answer 2

I agree with some of the other posts where the person was saying that she has done it and just looking for an excuse and also that there maybe something missing......

But looking at it in a few ways....

If you did have an open marriage i would imagine it would be a big discussion and you could come to terms with things....maybe? not sure....

You obviously love your women because you don't want to go out but if she is suggesting it then she won't have a problem with you getting some on the side....
sorry ladies yes i am a pig but i say you can try it and if it is too awkward, painful or weird then don't do it....

Here's a though try a threesome or a foursome first where everyone is there so you can see how she reacts to someone else sexually and you can learn what she really wants.....if you see she is moving to the other women...you know she's got carpet munching tendencies.....sorry again ladies i'm a pig....

Don't knock the idea straight away because she's just going to get bitter....explore some situations first thats what i'd do

Answer 3

For an open marriage to work, both members have to be on-board with it. Any kind of sexually open marriage, whether swinging, polyamory or some other sort requires a high level of honest, communication, respect and trust.

If she really wants to have a serious, responsible open relationship, she must realize that without you agreeing to it, it won't work--open marriages are not one-way affairs (actually, when they are one-way, they ARE affairs!).

Do you think that it will jeopardize your marriage? That can be a very real concern. If you two have any "unresolved issues," they would come up and quickly in an open relationship. What form of open marriage is she interested in? Do you know?

Talk to your wife. Tell her your feelings about non-monogamy. Before you talk to her, you might want to read up on the various types of non-monogamy that are out there.

If she's talking about polyamory (multiple loves), some "mixed marriages" (where one person is polyamorous, the other is not but the mono person does not feel insecure about the poly person's other loves), but they are not common. They often require even more work that "standard non-monogamy." ;-)

If it turns out that you two can come to some agreement, then fine. If, after talking, after communicating, you still are uncomfortable with it, she should respect your wishes and comfort levels and let it go.

Good luck whatever the two of you decide.

Answer 4

By RUSSELL GOLDMAN
Aug. 10, 2007
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Share To many, "open marriage" is a phrase so laden with 1970s nostalgia that the idea can't be considered without imagining its practitioners leering at each other across shag-carpeted conversation pits, their chest hair spilling out of maroon polyester leisure suits.

While many of today's adherents are aging swingers from the old school, a new generation -- well organized and committed to legitimizing a lifestyle -- continues to push traditional notions of marital fidelity by having sex with people other than their spouses.

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But do marriages -- fragile institutions traditionally built on the fidelity and sexual intimacy of two people -- work when the doors of the bedroom are thrown wide open?

"That's like asking if monogamy works," Deborah Anapol, a psychologist and author of "Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits" told ABC NEWS.com. "Sometimes it does, and sometimes it doesn't. It depends almost entirely on the people involved and their willingness to tell the truth and do the work."

"Polyamory," which literally means "many loves" is a new name for an old practice.

"There were a few studies on open marriage in the early '60s and '70s, but the phenomenon seemed to die out and it was just called cheating after that," said William Doherty, a professor of sociology at the University of Minnesota.

"It resurfaced as polyamory, and some groups have imbued it with a spiritual side. They see it as a pathway to personal development. They see it as a high road; it's not cheating, it's growing their relationship," he said.

In 1972, George and Nena O'Neill published "Open Marriage: Love Without Limits," the first book to define the practice and counsel couples on how to grow their own relationships by creating friendships and sexual relationships with other people.

Ten years later, acclaimed journalist Gay Talese would publish "Thy Neighbor's Wife," an experiential look at American sexual mores between the sexual revolution and the AIDS epidemic.

Answer 5

There is no way that you should agree to anything within a marriage that will make you unhappy. You don't want it and you should refuse. However it is not a good omen for the future and it may be wise to have some counselling, as this problem is liable to injure your marriage in the long run.

Answer 6

I hate to tell you this but she has already found someone else and she has all ready had sex with them, what she wants is your OK to continue on with what she is doing, so she does not feel in the wrong, She does love you but the fact of matter is she not in love with you! So what you really need to do is ask her what it is she really wants! Know matter how hard you try she is going to keep doing it even if she says she isn't. I hope for the best for you. Here is a little hit for you bring a friend over and see how she reacts to the idea maybe then she will realize its not right!

Answer 7

the problem is that your marriage is not meeting some of your wife's needs and she doesn't want to cheat. you need to get busy figuring out how to meet the needs your wife has. she probably has gotten interested in someone else but wants to stay married to you. tell her you need more time to understand and try to get into counseling. you will have to CHANGE to meet your wife's needs so she feels no need for another guy.

Answer 8

Tell her if she doesn't love u just to leave. If she is wanting an open marriage she is no longer in love w/ u and this is the easiest way to tell u. She may not wanna leave u becuz of circumstances u would only know, but she obviously is not satisfied w/ u and I personally wouldn't stand for it! I want someone that wants me and only me the first time they mention that I'd be out no matter how much I loved them!

Answer 9

I would stress to her that you are not interested in that life style. Express to her that that is a very private part of a marriage that is to stay between two people. I know I would tell my husband that I am not willing to share him with anyone in that manor. If she insists that is what she wants to do then I would think she just wants your permission to mess around with no consequences.

Answer 10

Find out if there is someone else. There probably is, and she wants to sleep with him and still have you on the back burner for whenever she wants you. If she truly loved you she wouldn`t have asked you this question. If my wife asked me that, she would be spending Christmas without me, that`s for sure.

Answer 11

Kick her to the curb Carlos. "Open marriage". Yeah...sure...always wanting their cake and eating it too. Can't have it both ways and if you do...what's the point in the sanctity of marriage. It makes the whole thing a sham.