me and a certain girl(an acquiantance)hahave recently come across to each other as nice and given each other a sort of mutual respect after being at each other's throats on and off for about a year.Howevewr when i see her,(at our health club)i don't have any contact with her in any which way,and i basically just avoid her and even if she's near a certain area where i'm in,i just pretend like she doesn't exist.Should i keep doing what i'm doing?She seems to be more comfortable,but i'm still harboring some stuff.What message am i implying?
2007-12-24 00:17:33 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
The message you are imparting is, "I absolutely want nothing to do with you." Whatever you are harboring obviusly has great effect on you. Nothing in your question suggests that you are over whatever happened when you both were at each other's throats. And when you put forth that much effort to ignore her (especially in close proximity) doesn't show the mutual respect you speak of. You're not doing yourself any favors behaving like this. Getting to the root cause of all this and resolving it will not only relieve some stress from your life, but you may even learn something beautiful about yourself.
2007-12-24 00:33:20 · answer #1 · answered by Robert O 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your implying the message that your letting bygones be bygones and that your just moving on with your own life, it would also be implied as you hold no grudges and your focusing on what your doing, your not sending any bad messages.
But if you want to have more of a relationship with her, try making small talk every now and then and a nice smile with a hello would help too.
2007-12-24 00:32:55 · answer #2 · answered by ARTY 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The quiet of the mind !!! one of the beauties of the human thought is that no one knows what someone else is thinking ,, IF you keep it only thought ,, if you send it out there you need to do damage controle .. nothing said , is silent thought , , and everyone , every every everyone changes their mind , ,( it's a prosess ) Anyhow she only knows what she thinks your implying ,, and if she gets too curious she'll walk up to you and ask you ( What are you trying to do here ? ) after which you can always say Ahun'tknow ? which always leaves them to respond with "oh." thats probably not the only thing they will say but that will be their thought " oh ."
2007-12-24 00:55:22 · answer #3 · answered by darkcloud 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello,
(ANS) I think you are giving out very confusing mixed messages here? you obviously by your own admission that you do have un-finished business with her. You are distancing yourself from her, its you who has the issues, its you who need to go to her and sort them out with her.
The message your giving is confusing because your distancing from her makes it appear your not interested in her yet you are putting off showing your real feelings (especially if you are angry or annoyed still?) Distancing is a way of avoiding conflict or having your feelings out with her. You don't like conflict?? Giving her the silent treatment won't work and helps nobody, go and be honest with her & stop bottling up your real feelings here. Life's to short for that in my opinion.
Kind Regards
Ivan
2007-12-24 00:41:54 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I found myself in a similar situation several years ago. We ended up getting married and lived happily ever after.
2007-12-24 00:27:34 · answer #5 · answered by Trainman 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are showing disinterest. If you are interested, get some eye contact and smiles going, and see what happens.
2007-12-24 00:26:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋