The Perfect Partner
By Simon & Sue Kingham
Summary
An amusing look at two guys discussing the search for the ‘perfect’ partner.
Characters
2: males
(1:) - single, a bit older, not so cool, has a long term girlfriend
(2:) - single, bit of a lad, fairly cool, has loads of women
Script
1: So, how is the lovely Sharon?
2: Who
1: You know, your girlfriend, Sharon, her with the nice buns.
2: You mean Sharon who works at the bakers. I stopped going out with her nearly a week ago, I've been out with Cindy and Candy since then.
1: Two girlfriends in a week.
2: Yea, it was just a quiet week, but I'm not going with them now.
1: So, who are you going out with now?
2: No-one.
1: Get away, you with no girlfriend, I don't believe it.
2: It's not funny, I'm quite depressed about it actually.
1: I'm sorry mate. I've got an idea, let's look in the lonely hearts section of the paper.
2: Worth a try, I suppose.
1: Here we are - 20 years old, attractive, sleek, sporty, goes well.
2: Wahey
1: Wait a minute ... good runner, only 20,000 miles on the clock... sorry mate, this is the wrong section.
2: Oh mate.
1: Let's try again, here we go - 28, Eastern European.
2: Sounds good, I quite fancy an exotic continental chick.
1: Tall, strong.
2: Wahey.
1: Athletic.
2: Yes sir, I like em sporty.
1: Well travelled.
2: Travel's good.
1: Likes eating out or in or anywhere, likes all sports especially shot putting, discus, and power lifting, for further details contact the Bulgarian Directorate for Sport.
2: Hold on, I don't want one of those East German sports women, get serious.
1: Sorry.
2: It's not funny.
1: Don't worry, you'll find a nice girl, just give it time.
2: Time, I haven't got time, I've never been on my own before.
1: So what do you want in a girlfriend?
2: I want a nice, steady, long, loving relationship like I had with Heather.
1: How long did you go out with her?
2: Nearly 3 weeks.
1: Why did it end?
2: You can't stay with one person too long.
1: You haven't got a hope.
2: All I want is a nice girlfriend.
1: So tell me what you want, what you really really want?
2: I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want?
1: (pause) So tell me what you want, what you really really want?
2: I want a cig, I want a cig, I wanta cig cigar (pulls out cigar)
1: What?
2: I want a really nice girl.
1: And what would your ideal girl be?
2: I don't ask for much... tall, blond, attractive, nice personality, caring, not too talkative, good at cooking, athletic, intelligent, well spoken, sensitive, reliable, hard working, sophisticated, charming, ......
1: Calm down mate, "I don't ask for much" (mocking)
2: You asked.
1: You should go on Blind Date
2: That's not a bad idea.
1: I was joking.
2: It's a good idea, some nice looking girls on that programme.
1: It's so false, just a load of fake questions, loaded answers, and the person chosen is always some weirdo with loud trousers and a goatie beard.
2: It's not that bad.
1: So how do you find your girlfriends normally then?
2: I set up this scoring system, right? Marks for general looks, length of legs, hair colour, sporting ability... stuff like that.
1: What about the sax.
2: Phouew, oh yea, course that's important.
1: No, sax, saxophone, Sharon and that other girl both played didn't they.
2: Funny you should say that. I misheard both of them on the first date, I thought they said they were great at .. (interrupted)
1: Thanks, I get the picture. And what about love.
2: What!?
1: Love, you know, that thing where two people really like each other.
2: I don't really know about that.
1: So it's just the person with the best score.
2: Pretty much, so I suppose your girlfriend's perfect?
1: She does alright, but no-one's ever been perfect, or have they?
2007-12-23 00:06:42
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answer #2
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answered by carriegreen13 6
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