My husband won't buy me a diamond ring. We got married in a hurry 10 years ago?

Question

He said after 10 years of marriage he would buy me one but it still hasn't arrived. He also told me he's not buying me one this year. We have three children and my oldest is old enough to understand the hurt he's putting me through. What should I do I'm falling out of love with him & we fight all the time about this ring.....

Answer 1

I'd go buy my own.. bigger and better then he ever would have bought - and I'd let him know in advance this is what I'm going to do...
and. for people that think its about the 'ring'. its not about the materalistic part of it - its about the fact to feel more secure in your marriage - a ring just might do that. It is showing he is at least trying to make you happy. So, it really has nothing to do with the 'ring' .. it also has to do with keeping a promise, and making an effort in the marriage to make you happy.
as for falling out of love -- it might not be faling out of love - but, its known as hurt.

Answer 2

I understand where you are coming from. I got married on a whirl wind also. We have been married 7 years and together for 9. My husband bought his ex wife an engagement ring and a wedding band. Me (nothing). Its not even about finances with us because I'm not materalistic at all. He pretty much gets what he wants. No flowers nothing special ever. I can't talk to him about it because I'm being stupid. Yes I know it's a piece of tin. I never wanted Jareds. So I don't know,what to tell you. I just hope everything works out for you and it will.

Answer 3

If you still regard this man as your 'husband' after 10 years with three children (beautiful kids too I bet), what's the diamond ring for! You love someone not because of material, especially after a decade. Leave the kids out of this 'diamond ring' business, or else they'll grow up like you - materialistic or perhaps, worse still, fight just for the sake of a fight.

Ever thought of how much a decent diamond ring could cost your better half? Would you rather just get a cheapie one for the sake 'see I've got one!'? Or perhaps your hubby may think with the amount of money spent on a ring, it's better spent on the kids, ie the family.

Forget about it, unless you are a 'show-off'. Treasure the marriage and enjoy the family, big time.

Answer 4

Well even if it about the ring and you've waited for 10 years just for your husband to get you a ring but it does sound selfish. Your marriage is much more important than the ring. Don't worry. Someday your husband might realize that you really do deserve the ring. But for now maybe you might have some financial problems. There could be plenty of reasons why he hasn't bought the ring for you yet. Ask him. Its better to let him know too that your upset.

Answer 5

First of all stop fighting about the ring, a relationship should be more important than that.

Second, I have a beautiful diamond ring that needs a home, I am willing to get it appraised again. Maybe we can work out a deal.

Third, Have you asked your husband why he does not want you to have your diamond ring?

Answer 6

Is that the only reason you stay in the marriage for the ring? You seem very shallow and materialistic. To fall out of love because he hasn't bought you a ring. It seems like you have no basis for your relationship, of all the problems you could be having and you're infatuated over a ring. Get a divorce already. He can do a lot better.

Answer 7

why in the world would you want to start a arguement about a diamond ring? Who are you trying to impress by having it? Is your marriage liscense not enough for you?
It sounds to me that you are being materialistic and aslo you never said if you could afford it having 3 kids. and to fall out of love with someone over a ring is absoulutely redicioulus. You need to grow up and love your husband for what he actualy can give you instead of starting arguements for buying a ring. This would make me mad to as a husband and make me think no matter what I do my wife is not going to appreciate it because it is materialistic and if I bought her a ring next year it would be a bracelet, then a new car, etc etc.. you should be thankfull for your husband just as he is, and if you are that set on having to have a ring to make you happy, divorce him, because it is obvious you are not going to get one until you can learn to appreciate what you have. Your husband deserves better from you than this. And last but not least, can your husband afford it even though he told you after 10 years and 3 kids later?

Answer 8

Again I say read the book called
The five love languages.


1. Maybe he was going to get you one for
christmas but because you wont let it go
he feels annoyed.
2. Maybe he will still get you one for christmas.

3. This reminds me of a good friend of mine
from highschool. After Highschool she met
the man of her dreams but she nagged him
endlessly about marriage. He refused. I told
her to go a full year without asking him. Dont
even hint. Well she actually listened to me and
by the end of that summer they were married
and are happy even today with children.

4. Nagging never ever works long term.

Answer 9

You are right about one thing, your oldest child is watching and seeing the hurt that not having this ring is causing you. Your child is learning the value of materalistic things and not love and soon your child will act the same way, insanely selfish and hurt because you won't buy him/her that very expensive gift they really want. Grow up, would you buy your husband a new car if he asked for one and acted like you until he got it?

Answer 10

[I am certain I will not be alone in thinking you selfish and spoiled. So I won't go there.]

I blame the gift industry for this sort of thing. The modern 10th anniversary gift is said to be diamonds. The traditional was tin or aluminum; diamond was the 60th. Maybe you need to count on the traditional, and when the modern shows up, you'll be thrilled and surprised.