2007-12-22 20:39:27 · 23 answers · asked by Wide Awake 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
sorry i mean when you've lost a family member, they've passed on.
2007-12-22 20:50:41 · update #1
Thanks for the tip Fardy I need them, sorry for your loss too!
2007-12-22 21:05:56 · update #2
Momof3 thank you. you know why? bless you!x
2007-12-22 22:06:57 · update #3
I do not know to be honest but will after christmas.
We lost our wonderful daughter end of august age 25 this year and it is our first christmas.
As a family we are all doing small but simple things like taking flowers to garden of memory, mandle candles will be lit in our home on christmas day, a piece in the paper in her memory and so on.
I know where she is she is happy, free spirit and at peace which is a comfort.
She adored christmas and I have cried many times over in the run up to christmas.
I had a nasty email via Yahoo saying what am I doing on here but my answer is life cant stop and with all the wonderful people on here in same situation who understand I find that of great comfort to me.
My thoughts and prayers are with everyone who have lost someone close in their family especially first christmas.
They say you have to go through the seasons as birthdays christmases ect all go.
My honest full true love for everyone and will take this question if you do not mind to say thank you to all my Yahoo contacts who have been a rock and merry christmas.
2007-12-22 21:27:33 · answer #1 · answered by momof3 7 · 10⤊ 0⤋
Oh my god, my gran who used to come down to our dinner died in November ! :( ! But, since 2005, our elder relatives have been dieing off the xmas dinner list so every year we have lost someone. I had my great Aunt, Great Gran and gran and they are all dead now. Xmas was getting more awkward as the year went on, now the 3 are away ....
Anyway, I suggest that you keep your mind preoccupied with the other guests and talk about the last person mildly, i.e., have a toast or talk about a memory of that person. Trust me, being through it two times, I know what it is like, it isn't so bad when you get into the flow of things :) !
Good Luck and sorry for the loss.
2007-12-23 06:54:24 · answer #2 · answered by pop 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
That first Christmas without my Dad was very difficult. But being with family, and being able to talk about your lost loved one helped a great deal. Reminiscing about all the fun times, the special times and sharing great memories gave us all a feeling that he was close by, which personally, I felt he really was.
My Dad always bought me After Eight mints for Christmas, among other things. And my other half never forgets to put a box of After Eights under the tree each year.
As time goes by, the feelings of loss get less poignant, but the love and the memories are as strong as ever.
xx
2007-12-23 04:59:40 · answer #3 · answered by Happihawkeye 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
We lost my Dad in November very close to Christmas and to be quite honest sparkles we didn't cope that first Christmas or the 2nd really but a few years down the line it has got better and we now remember the Happy Christmases we spent with him and can even laugh at the happy memories. Having my children around also helped as it gave me something else to focus on as well xx
2007-12-23 06:25:18 · answer #4 · answered by ♥ Beaver Diva Sue ♥ 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Sparkles, i am so sorry for your loss and i do feel for you, i know how it feels to be without someone at Christmas, my nanna raised me from when i was 5 so i was used to waking up every christmas with her, she died 5 years ago aged 87 and i was crushed, although i had left home and had my own kids, there was a huge gap in my life and i found it very difficult to enjoy Christmas, but my inner strength helped me cope with it and it did get easier each year, on Christmas day each year i lit a candle for her and i put it on my dinner table because it comforts me and i know she was watching over me, i don't think about her death any more, but i do think about her life and how much happiness she brought into my life, she had old fashioned values and that's what i loved about her so much, if it weren't for her, lord knows where i would have ended up because she was the only one who cared, so i thank her for saving me, she was a wonderful lady and i will miss her forever, and i think about her every day, so maybe if you think about your sisters life and all the good times you had with her, maybe that will enable you to cope a bit better...bless you Sparks...your a lovely lady and i know that your sis would want you to be happy at Christmas, this may not mean much but she is around you and i don't think she would want you to be unhappy at christmas....xx
2007-12-23 07:34:49 · answer #5 · answered by Dazzlebox 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Honestly Sparkles I was on auto pilot the whole day, I just had a mask on for the kids, but really I didn't enjoy any of it, it was the first Christmas without my Mum, so basically every Christmas tradition that I'd ever had, had died with her, or so I felt then, it's easier now this will be my 4th Christmas without her, but it's still strange, there's always that feeling of somebody being missing! Hugs to you Hun!
2007-12-23 16:05:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
you do cope! you may not enjoy it as much, but it does get easier. i usually end up blubbing at Christmas/ new year, when i think of my parents & brother. another brother reminded me of one of rob's sayings the other day & it brought tears to my eyes. rob's been gone 11 years now but we've got so many happy memories we can't help but share them. it makes the season bitter-sweet, but i'd rather remember them than not! my first Christmas without my mum passed ok, then i broke down new years eve when i thought how she'd have been celebrating it. that's how it goes & it's how it should be. remember the person you've lost & shed some tears for them, then try to enjoy the season for their sakes. hope you do have a happy Christmas, diane.
2007-12-23 05:13:23 · answer #7 · answered by diquarry 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
everyone copes in there own way, what might be good for them won't work for you. i always go to midnight mass on christmas eve, thats my time to say merry christmas, and i love and still miss you very much, life is meant to move on ? my dad used to say it doesnt matter who or where you are the sun will always rise tomorrow, and i am sorry to say its true! the way i cope is if i think about them even once a day, they will never die, there always with me so when your having fun so are they. have a peaceful season and a happy new year.
2007-12-23 06:11:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
It wasn't easy, but we had an ok day. Try to remember them and not block them out. Remember the funny things that made you laugh about them. Try to ask yourself, what would they say to me if they were here?
I am assuming your loved one has died? If it's a relationship split then you have a good time and that way you are winning.
Hope this helps? Have as good a xmas a possible xx
2007-12-23 04:49:02 · answer #9 · answered by shaunie 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
It's a family thing for us. We 've lost our dads in recent years. My father-in-law actually died on a Christmas Day and the following year mum-in-law didn't want to be at home so we took her to Tenerife. It wasn't really right ,somehow, and so now she comes to us along with my mum for lunch. By late afternoon they are both ready to go back home for the evening.
Even now, M-I-L won't open presents on 25th - she finds it disrespectful to his memory so when she is given a gift, she opens it there and then !
They are both welcome to stay as long as they like but with all the kids/grandkids in and out all day they like to get back for some peace and quiet and have a quiet moment with their memories.
My best advice to you is to concentrate on who IS there, not who ISN'T and remember the old saying "Look back but don't stare"
2007-12-23 05:10:15 · answer #10 · answered by nanny chris w 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋