My sister is getting married and asked me to be a bridesmaid. The top half of my back is tattooed (nothing offensive at all), and she has asked me to cover it for the wedding. It is too big to be covered, and I have had it for three years, LONG before she got engaged, and she has always known about it.
Personally I think it is rude that she asked me to be in her wedding and then asked me to change my appearance, while saying I should be honored to do so. None of the bridesmaids dresses she picked will cover my tattoo, and we're not wearing shawls or anything... and it's too big for make-up, so I don't know how she thought I would cover it.
She waited until we were shopping for dresses with the other girls to tell me, then insisted I try on dresses that exposed my entire back.
Am I the only one who thinks she's being bridezilla-ish and a bit rude? Would it be rude to decline the "honor" of being a bridesmaid and tell her I don't really want to be in her wedding?
2007-12-22 18:28:01 · 7 answers · asked by Lola 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
I got married 3 years ago, and didn't ask my bridesmaids to change a thing about themselves... other than the dresses, I told them to come as they are, because I LOVE them for who they are, including my sister.
2007-12-22 18:42:03 · update #1
As you mentioned, you've had this tattoo for three years and your sister knows about it. The back is not an area which must be exposed, so it seems to me that she should have picked out a design for ALL the bridesmaids' dresses that covered that part of the body. This would have been easy to do! I truly don't understand what she is thinking.
Having said that, she is your sister. I would not refuse to stand up for her over this. Try to have a calm discussion with her about changing her design for the dresses. If all the other bridesmaids are wearing gowns that expose a big chunk of skin on their backs, and you are the only one covered, that could look like you are being singled out. There are plenty of pretty gowns that everyone can agree on and that will cover your tattoo.
If she refuses to change the design, and you would be truly uncomfortable and feel like an outcast or a freak in a different dress from everyone else in the wedding, then decline. You should not have to suffer like that to be in the wedding. It is supposed to be pleasant and fun for you, too. But *if* you can ignore it and have a good time as a member of the wedding party anyway, then just go along with her. It's her big day. Let her have her way.
2007-12-22 18:47:55 · answer #1 · answered by Pythia 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The only times I think I could justify asking a bridesmaid to cover a tattoo is if the tattoo was something that could be potentially offensive to other guests. Something along the lines of a Nazi symbol at a Jewish wedding... not going to go down well. Or if it's in the name of a greater peace at the wedding, something like it's your 16 year old sister and your parents don't know about it. My wedding will not be the place where it gets revealed, sorry but that storm can happen elsewhere. Other than occasions like those, if I didn't want tattoo's I'd either choose another girl or choose a dress that covers the tattoo. But my point of view is that these girls are my nearest and dearest and I love them, warts and all. Why try to cover up part of who they are. And to my knowledge even the super strict Catholic churches that want covered shoulders wouldn't halt a wedding because a bridesmaid has a tattoo... we're not that petty.
2016-04-10 21:38:20 · answer #2 · answered by Jane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No not really it's her wedding she just wants everybody to look nice and elegant. However it's really stupid that she wants you to cover it yet rec commends dresses that will expose your tattoos. There are creams that hide tattoos but there not very easy to find so you should probably go as you are or tell your sister you would rather not her a bridesmaid.
2007-12-22 18:41:54 · answer #3 · answered by nobody 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, I would have to say that if you feel uncomfortable about the situation then tactfully bow out of the role as bridesmaid. If you handle it gracefully and explain your concerns, she should be able to get past it. If not, then you still did what you thought was best and it is on her if she chooses to misbehave. As a tattooed person myself, I got my tattoos to show them and express myself, not cover them up. I am certainly not ashamed of them and wouldn't expect anyone else to be either. It is too bad that your sister doesn't share in this mindset. Good luck.
2007-12-22 18:38:41 · answer #4 · answered by LadyLeatherneck 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It does seem she is being somewhat unrealistic. If she wanted you in the wedding but your tats not showing she should have chosen dresses accordingly. About all you can do is tell her you're honored but can't fulfill her wishes.
2007-12-22 18:34:57 · answer #5 · answered by barbara 7 · 6⤊ 0⤋
its her day,,,she just wants things to be perfect,,,,,,,when your day comes you will want everything to be perfect too,,but yehh really,,just tell her that theres nothing you can do to cover it,,,if she is a good sis she will understand,,,
2007-12-22 18:37:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
decline the invitation..she shouldn't have asked you.
2007-12-22 18:35:24 · answer #7 · answered by slkrchck 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋