Dispute with wife over baby boy's name.... do you think she's wrong???

Question

My wife and I had agreed when planning our family that we would have no more than two children. Well, God has seen fit to somehow bless us with a third child, and we recently found out it's going to be a boy.

Now, I've always have been a life-long Star Trek fan, and whenever I brought up naming one of our children after a Star Trek character, she always said, "You can name the third one whatever you want...", thinking we weren't having more than two. Well, now I'm holding her to it, and she says that she can't believe I'm serious and won't agree to the name I've picked. It's not so bad..... our son's name would be Ryker Patrick Shanley, after Commander Ryker from ST:TNG. Anybody that doesn't know the show would just think it's a unique name.

Do you think she's over-reacting? (At least I'm not naming him Worf , Quark or Odo....)

We can't change or switch the middle name. Patrick is her father's name, we both agreed our parents' names would be middle names and our other son has my father's name as his middle name. If we give one the first name and not the other it will seem like we're playing favorites with the father-in-laws. Make sense?

Answer 1

I think she would have a right to say no if it was a horrible name, put Ryker Patrick flows really well and its not so unusual that peopel will get all confused on how to spell it. She did give you her word. I actually really like the name. (Im a star trek fan too. so i guess Im a little biased).

Answer 2

Well, I actually have a coworker whose son is named Ryker, so I've heard it before and I kind of like it. It's unique. I like the total name you've got in mind, but the fact is, it's your wife's agreement that matters, not anyone else's, particularly strangers on the internet.

You need to compromise with your wife. Despite what she's said in the past, you KNEW it was in jest, since neither of you had planned a third child and you both thought it was not a true option.

The two of you now need to decide on a name TOGETHER. Neither one should rule over the other.

Start by submitting a list of 10 names each and then try to pare the list down from there on the ones you can both agree on. Scrap the names that you don't agree on and move on.

I mean, come on...it's Star Trek. It's only a TV show. Don't you think your child deserves a little better legacy than that?

Answer 3

I think the name is unusally if you have not seen the show. Patrick I have heard over and over again. I would say go with your pick thats what she said it could be. Though in a way since you were not planning more then two its hard. I would say put the middle name she would like with the first name you would like. That way if she feels fits she can call your third child by its middle name. I do not think she is overreacting that much. She is the mother and she does have to care this child for nine months as well.

Answer 4

I personally think she should be a woman of her word and let you name this little angel. I don't know much about star trek but, i like the name ryker patrick . I definitely would leave out shanley unless that's your last name just a thought .

and good luck on winning the argument!! she know's deep down she's wrong.

Answer 5

No, I don't think she's overreacting. Naming your kids is a big deal, no matter if it's the first one or the third one. Imagine how you would feel if, as life would ahve it, you were blessed with a fourth child. And she decided on a name you disliked and was trying to push it on you. Couldnt you put Ryker as the middle name and Patrick as the first and all it a compromise?

Anyways, congrats and good luck :)

Answer 6

Maybe a compromise could be to go with William since that's Ryker's first name and also has a tie to Will Shatner and Will Wheaton.

Then again you could try for Gene to honor the late great creator of the show.

Answer 7

How about using Ryker as a middle name instead of the first? Maybe if you done that, she would agree to it. I really like the name Ryker, it is unusual.

Answer 8

why not use Ryker as a middle name its all about compromise and this way you give a lil she gives a lil and all are somewhat happy and you never know she may look at the baby when he is born and say he is a ryker I did with my youngest he was gonna be a charlie *gag* but looked more like a Nick from the start.

Answer 9

I have to say it's my opinion that you're totally in the right on this one. A deal is a deal is a deal-part of being in a marriage is honoring your word. If we had been having a boy this time I would have had to name him Grant....I hate that name with a firey passion (so glad that we're having a girl!), but I believe it's only right to stick by your word, especially to your spouse!

And you're right, you didn't pick an unreasonable name like Quark (even though you could have and still would have been in the right). I actually know two different children named Ryker and I have always thought it was an adorable name and never knew it was a Star Trek thing.

Your wife needs to honor her word-she would expect you to do the same, would she not?

Answer 10

Ryker sounds like an ok name to me but maybe a compromise how about putting Patrick first after Patrick Stewart who played Capt picard or maybe Benjamin after Capt sisko on DS9 these names are more common names and still satisfies your need to have him named after a star trek character