Bisexual daughter?

Question

My 15 year old daughter has been with the same boy for almost 3 years now, and i fear she has been having an affair with another girl. She had just met this girl, and right off the bat they were talking on the phone for hours, day after day. They've been hanging out for around 2 months now i believe, and i'm getting a little worried. When this girl is in our home, her and my daughter go into my daughter's bedroom for hours on end with the lights off and rarely the tv will be on. She says they just like to sit and talk about everything and it's just better in the dark. I think it's a load of crap. I'm very concerned about her being bisexual, and also about her cheating on her boyfriend. I've asked her numerous times if she is infact going bisexual, and she denies it. I'm not sure what to do. She's now wanting this girl to spend the night, and i'm confused as to whether or not i should let her. What would you do? What steps should i take next? Any help is greatly appreciated!

Our family is Christian, we strongly believe in god and the bible. When i question my daughter about god, she says she believes in god but has her own beliefs about the bible.

Answer 1

If your daughter is bisexual, it should be the same in relationships.
Cheating is wrong even if it is going on both sides of the gender spectrum.
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She can be religious even if she is bisexual. God will love her no matter what, right? Just like you'll love your own daughter no matter what?

Answer 2

You shouldn't really care if your daughter is bisexual or even lesbian. If she were bisexual and you kept asking her if she was then she will feel totally uncomfortable in the situation.

She might be ashamed that she is also interested in girls but just let her be. Even though you care for her a lot, you should let her figure out things and solve things on her own.
Teens don't want one of their parents always wanting to know everything about them.
Just let it go, and if she wants to tell you about being bisexual then she would come and tell you. But you don't know if she really is.
Just let her friend sleep over, your going to be in the house when she does. I think you should just leave your daughter alone even though I know that you are worried about her.

And with her boyfriend, it is none of your business anyhow, it's only when he does something to her you should be worried. But let your daughter be.
At the end the girl could always just be her friend so don't jump into conclusions that she is bisexual or a lesbian or even cheating on her boyfriend.
Plus she might just want to expirement with another girl since some girls want to know what it feels like (which is normal) if she is bisexual.

I am 16 and I have close friends and me and them always go into my room. Sometimes we just turn all the lights off and tell scary stories to each other when we are bored. But sometimes we talk about anything in the dark like our boyfriends because it seems funner (might seem wierd). But we don't do any of the lesbian things.

Just wait and see what happens at the end is the best thing.

Answer 3

You can't force beliefs on people, but instead have to allow them to make their own decisions and choices, and learn from their own actions. If you are being a good parent and raising her with good morals, then trust your daughter to be able to make the decisions that are right for her or to learn the hard way....from her mistakes. She's at a rough age, and may be confused about some issues, but you can't stop somebody from being bisexual if that is what she wants to be. Instead of focusing on that, maybe talk about how being faithful in a relationship is important, and see if she agrees with that.

Its not uncommon for young girls to have close girlfriends. If you are uncomfortable about her having this girl spend the night, why not make a rule that anytime anybody is over, that the bedroom door has to remain open. My parents had that rule, and since it was for ANYBODY, I didn't feel like anybody was singled out because they didn't trust me with that person, but just that as parents, they felt it was the appropriate thing to do. That way, you know that nothing is going to happen if she spends the night. Its a safe rule to have with the boyfriend anyway, so I'm sure she will see the logic in it.

Answer 4

I understand you are probably very concerned with this as a parent and a christian. BUT, if your daughter feels attacked or badgered but your way of asking her these questions, she won't open up to you. Then you'll have no chance at understanding her and she'll most likely not take your point of view into consideration. Try talking to her calmly, without judgement, and even if she is bisexual, you need to support her and be there for her. I'm not talking jump up and down with joy, let her know your point of view without pushing her away. If you aren't sure you'll be able to do this, pratice the worst case scenario with your spouse first. Then, when you feel ready, go have a heart to heart and let her know your love is unconditional. You'll have a much better chance of having influence in her life choices if she feels she can tell you things w/o having you flip out. This is at least the approach I'd take in your shoes. Merry Christmas!

Answer 5

I am christian too.

I wouldn't be worried maybe it is a late stage of growing up.

I don't want to offend you or anything, but I wouldn't have asked her... I am 13 y/o boy. Me and my sister's last thing we would want to hear out of mom's mouth is "Honey, are you Bisexual?" even if I was or wasn't.

What you should do is let her "choose". She is old enough to know about adult things. If she is bi, it aint against the law (or bible). If you need more help, feel free to send me a message, I'll help as much as I can.

Answer 6

First of all, people have to get over that factor where society labels people for how they act. It only confuses those who are already having identity crisis as their emotional state.

Second, I understand that you are quite nervous for what is the possible outcome of you daughter's future but to tell you, just because there is a possibility you should give your daughter the benefit of the doubt. Let her come to you when she is ready (if that is the case that she might be bisexual) Bombarding her with panic questions won't help her, especially your desperation for answers.

Sometimes, we have to set aside how society will react towards how our loved ones are. Truthfully they need someone to listen, to be patient with them, to understand them no matter what.

There are much more worse effects on a person when their emotions are quite confusing especially when it goes against what they have been taught of what is expected of them.

UNDERSTAND INSTEAD OF JUDGING. THAT IS IMPORTANT.

Put aside that issue, I will tell you that it is quite normal for someone of her age or for any age for that matter to feel the need to talk to someone about whatever she is going through right now. It is up to her if it will remain a secret between them, at least she has someone to talk to about it, rather than being alone and locking herself up. I tell you that is more unhealthy. Give her space, understand her.

AS FOR THE OTHER WHO ARE ACTUALLY TAKING THIS AS A SEXUAL POINT IN SENSE OF SEXUAL ACTS, DO NOT DO THAT, I REPEAT DO NOT DO THAT.

Gender issues do not have anything to do with sexuality in the sense of sexual acts I tell you. Please be more respectful of the feelings of those going throught whatever they are going through.

Answer 7

Be a parent, be a Christian. Love her unconditionally, and let her KNOW you love her unconditionally.

It sounds to me like she just wants to have a sleep over. Don't make a mountain out of a mole hill. She's your daughter, if you raised her right, she'll always DO right, or know who to come to to ask advice from when she does wrong.

Answer 8

so what if she is bisexual!!! You should love her no matter what!! Worse things could happen! I do believe if she wants a sleepover she would be genuine if you are a christian family. I know a lot of teens that talk in the dark with there friends i was one of them.

Answer 9

Gosh, you're paranoid. Is it so surprising to you that two people just connect? I wonder how many other people you think are bisexual. Even if your daughter is bisexual, it's her choice and you can't do anything about it. You could either accept it (which is what I would do) or have her resent you for the rest of her life. The next step for you to take is to help yourself be more open-minded. I must say, people like you piss me off.

Answer 10

well thats what friends do. they talk a lot, hang out a lot, etc. well maybe they are just talking with the lights off. i've done it before. maybe they do that so it wont be awkward like having to make eye contact and all. i mean, cheating on her boyfriend (if she is) is wrong, but if she was bisexual, what would be so terrible?