I don't cheat...but I'm a compulsive flirt...Is this wrong?

Question

I met my husband when I was 16. We've been married for 8 years...together for 14 years. I have never cheated on him and I don't think I ever would. But, I don't get the attention from him anymore that I used to get. He never compliments me. He never says I love you unless he's going to bed. He never holds my hand when we walk somewhere together. He doesn't do any of the "little things" anymore. I miss the feelings and the rush I used to get from those "little things". Lately, I've found myself openly flirting with some of the men (younger or older) that I come into contact with at work. I know I act like I'm interested in them, but I'm really not. I just enjoy the playfulness that comes along with the flirting. I enjoy hearing that I look nice or my hair looks pretty or that I have a beautiful smile. It gives me butterflies in my stomach. I haven't had that in a long time. I don't feel guilty about this, but I do wonder if it's inappropriate. Any opinions?

I have asked this before, but need more advice!!

Answer 1

Flirting is a variation of cheating....stop it!!!

Yes, very inappropriate and you may get more than you bargained for. And what about the girlfriends and wives of the men you flirt with? You hurt them.

You need to fix your marriage!

Joy to you.

Answer 2

It is inappriopriate. Especially if you're married, it's even worse. Honestly, i'm still young and not married, but plan too be and i definitly won't ever do any of that. In my opinion, it's wrong and your probably go gitty about it all the time because your husband doesn't flatter you with those compliments. Maybe he's getting uninterested? Are you?
If he was all the only man in your life that really mattered, all those other men's compliments wouldn't mean a thing or as much as your guy's does. Either that, or Compulsive flirting leads to a cheat.

Answer 3

I think it's okay so long as the guys understand that it is only harmless flirting and nothing else. You might be treading on dangerous territory if someone takes you seriously and decides that he wants you. Then if you were faced with one of these guys telling you that your husband is an idiot for not paying more attention to you and that if you were his, he would NEVER do that to you, do you think you might take the bait and want to be with him? That's when this would all turn very dangerous.

I don't think you're doing anything wrong with flirting, so long as you know that it won't go anywhere else. It's not worth ruining your life for. That's why your best might be flirting with other married people, just because you know there's less of a chance of them taking anything that you're saying seriously. Also, now and again mention how much you love your husband so that they know you're happily married.

Also, the attention that he no longer pays to you does NOT mean that he loves you any less...let me assure you of that. It just means that he's not into doing all those things that he used to do. It comes to a point in your marriage when you can't keep up the same pace that you used to when you were just dating. Things are much more different now. However, that doesn't excuse him from not giving you a little bit of attention. Does he know how much it means to you to have little displays of affection? He can't just know this in his own heart.

Good luck, and please don't be tempted to look elsewhere in other ways than flirting with these other men!

Answer 4

I think it's ok as long as the guys know you aren't going to do anything with them. You aren't dead and guys look at women all the time. There shouldn't be a reason you shouldn't feel good about yourself once in awhile. I used to flirt and still do sometimes. But I also know I won't do anything. It's just to make you feel better. SO you aren't harming anyone. And guys like to flirt back. Just remember it's all in fun and dont' let anyone feel you are serious about it.

Answer 5

A lot of married women flirt and the danger part
of it is they may flirt in front of the wrong man and
he may eventually physically try something, so if
you want to keep your respect as a woman then
talk to your husband and flirt in front of him and let
him know that you want more attention. It will be
better for you all around because you may like
flirting too much after getting all the intention when
you do it and it may bring trouble in your way
later.

Answer 6

Don't play with fire, because sooner or later you will get burned. Be faithful to your husband. You might be looking for excuses to cheat? I don't know, but I am sure you have the answer!

Answer 7

it's not appropriate and if you keep doing it eventually you will end up cheating/having relationship. don't play with fire if you don't want to get burnt .

the best thing is to talk to your husband about what you want/need/miss. communication is the key.

Answer 8

well I think it is inappropriate, but i will say this..if you dont feel it is wrong, then it must not be wrong to you. how do you feel about talking to your husband about this..u should tell him so that he can begin to do the little things that he used to do in order to make you feel good. i feel that this must be a play/fun thing now, but if things do turn sower with your husband, you may end up going further so watch out and stop it now before it goes there.

Answer 9

yeah kinda because that could be the beginings of cheating if he really loves you he'll understand when you tell him everything you've wrote. (above)

Answer 10

I think it is very low of you to play with someones emotions to make yourself feel better. I was on the receiving end of a girls game, when she got tired of playing her little game with me, she just just turned as cold as ice. By then i had fallen for her, it crushed me to have her treat me like that, i have to see her at work everyday as she plays the same game with another guy, it hurts almost more than I can bare.