We have a 7 yr old, and a 1 yr old, I work, but could not afford to live without his paycheck too. He is sooo mean though, and I want to leave-what can I do???
2007-12-22 14:41:58 · 17 answers · asked by hawaiichic 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hawaiichic... a lot of people have said "child support". Well, let me tell you, child support isn't the all encompassing answer. There's a lot of times that child support just isn't enough. It covers "necessities", but never is enough for gifts at Christmas, camp during the summer, car repairs when the old one tires out and on and on.
And child support is money...and looking back, I'm sure there are a lot of kids who would say the money never replaced that empty seat at the dinner table...that empty chair during the school play, and graduation. Money wasn't there to hold them when they fell from the bicycle, or their first love has moved on.
See...I'm going to be one of those who says a marriage is worth fighting for. Councilling. I would start by finding a church that takes a strong interest in helping you restore your marriage. And not just a once a week Sunday School seminar on happy marriages, but sitting down with the both of you and letting the both of you vent.
And if he doesn't want to go to councilling, I would still seek fellowship in a church, because on your own, you're fighting a battle with no encouragement. But with a strong church family, there are others there to encourage you, and try to help reach your husband. And most important... you will have a spiritual family who wants to pray with you.
I know this is going to sound old fashioned, but it takes three to make a marriage. Me, my wife, and our God.
My heart is going out to you. Please know I am praying with you, asking the One who gave you a heart full of love for this man to be there with you. To encourage you to hold on and to give you the wisdom to know what to do day by day, struggle by struggle to restore your marriage.
† Travelling Prayer Warrior †
2007-12-22 20:20:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where theres a will there is a way, so find out the solution, go live with a family member untill u can get on your feet, do whatever it takes if its a bad relationship that cant be saved then you need to find away of getting out.. hoard money, even if its only a few dollars a paycheck put it in an account he doesnt know about, and start saving to leave him. It will only be hard for awhile until child support is arranged then u will have that help from him to support the children.
2007-12-22 14:58:29 · answer #2 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You guys should try to work it out. How is he mean to you? Are you mean to him? I think that you need to work it out because of the kids, not for financial reasons. Every couple argues. Married life is very difficult, and you sort of know that going in. Arguing isn't a sign that things are wrong.
Does he know that what he does to you is mean? If he says things that hurt you to the very fiber of your being, does he know how much it hurts and doesn't care? Find out if he knows that you care about him as well. There might be something that you're doing to him that makes him think that YOU don't care about HIM, which is why he's acting the way he is.
2007-12-22 15:09:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Seek marriage/family counseling.
If you cannot leave for financial reasons then you should at least try to work it out with your husband.
If he refuses to seek professional help you will have to leave. There is support for single mothers and newly divorced mothers to help you out. Also, you will get half of everything from the divorce and your husband would still have to pay child support. I think you just need to find a kicka$$ attorney.
2007-12-22 14:45:42 · answer #4 · answered by ♪Msz. Nena♫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I thought most couples argue occasionally...is this excessive? So excessive that it is effecting the children? You say he is mean. I do not need to know the details but, I do know you have two children who are involved and know this man as "daddy."
If you truly want to leave, you can get assistance. However, for the sake of your children, I would ask that you pray and ask God to guide you in this. I do not know your personal situation but, GOD does! He is the One I would look to if it were me!
I am going to be praying for you to reach out to God, for help. I am also praying for the two children whose lives will change forever from this decision. May God be in control, lead you and guide you in all ways!
gail
2007-12-22 15:12:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Child Support.
2007-12-22 14:51:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Save your money for a short time and find a lawyer. You are teaching your children how to live (arguing - mean - etc.) they live what they learn. You need to divorce or seek counseling for your own life as well as theirs. Good luck.
2007-12-22 14:47:04 · answer #7 · answered by sweetpicker 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
money is never a good enough reason to stay in a marriage, especially considering what your children are learning about relationships from watching what is happening between you. no amount of money is worth that. i know it's scary, but yes - you will mostly likely get child support if you leave and keep the kids. it's worth it both for yourself - you deserve to be treated better than that - and for your children, who will be learning about how to treat the people they love, and about how they should expect to get treated, by seeing what is going on at home. best of luck to you.
2007-12-22 15:09:15 · answer #8 · answered by Melanie T 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are going to get a lot of his paycheck in child support.
2007-12-22 14:44:45 · answer #9 · answered by SWEETYPI 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
either leave, take the financial hit and start from scratch on your own or
2) change the relationship to be different.
books i would recommend:
getting the love you want
nonviolent communication
you don't have to wait for him to change. you can change the relationship yourself if you want to.
you must do something - either leave and be in total poverty or make a change.
2007-12-22 14:45:32 · answer #10 · answered by Sufi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋