Should I keep in touch with my soon ex to be?

Question

Hello everyone.
Finally my immature 50year old husband left today for the second time to Europe, this time he sai for good. He left the divorce procedure up to me. We were married for two years and it was a second marriage for both of us. He is a nice man, but has drinking habbits, a big ego, and is very stubborn and won't change his ways. I on my end, never saw myself as a doormat, so I won't put up with him. All our talks to save this marriage didn't help.
At the end we both cried, kissed and he asked not to give up yet. I think he is trying to teach me a lesson, by leaving me during the Christmas time. Well I am too old for that.I love him, but I don't want to waste my remaining years arguing and fighting, life is too short. The way his behivior is "Never say Never, meaning we might have another chance. I am wondering should I keep in touch with him, or be strong and move on with my life? I am hurt, devastated, please any feedback will be very helpfull

Answer 1

Hey, don't listen to people who say that you're too old ..We're as old as we feel, first of all .. As for him leaving you during the Christmas, I don't think it would make a big difference if he left you after it .. Quite an opposite, let the New Year bring new feelings and new hopes into your life . As for keeping in touch, you sure can do that, if you're strong enough not to let it hold you from meeting other people. Good luck!

Answer 2

Leaving during Christmas holidays are upon you is without a doubt the most immature action I have ever heard of. You said it, he won't change. Guys who are 50 will not change! Hell, I'm 50 and am set in my ways too. I may even want to change what I know is a poor character trait, but, after 50 years, it is so ingrained in my psyche I will never completely be free of it. It's comparable to smoking. After 2 packs a day for 35 years of his 50 year life and then try to quit. Sorry, it is a rare bird that can do that. Naw, move on. Hey, you are old enough to not need a man. I mean if my wife passed away, I wouldn't "need" a woman. I wouldn't kick one out of the bed, but, to tell you the truth, life alone isn't that hard! Just do a few things that will make you happy. Get on a jetski, take open water diving courses, learn to climb cliffs, do what makes you happy, even if it's girly stuff! Good Luck! Hey do like me! I have IM friends all over the globe. I will never be with out a neat conversationalist! Pen Pals ROCK!

Answer 3

I don't normally encourage people to cut other's out of their life...but this man sounds very manipulative...and as you aren't a doormat all you are doing is setting yourself up for more grief. You don't have to be hateful to him but you certainly don't have to try to keep in touch and wait around while he thinks he is teaching you a lesson. Be strong, move on...if at some point in time in the future, he gets contacts you and you feel strong enough...see if you want to move forward with him...Who knows by then you may be moving forward with someone else. Good Luck!

Answer 4

This really sucks, I am so sorry you have to go through this...and before Christmas too, but I say the new year is right around the corner and you should make it a new year, meaning leaving your past in the past and start anew.
You are too good for him...just ask yourself if this was your daughters situation...would you be ok with it.....no........of course not.,...so don't you be ok with it either........you are way to special for this........Be strong.......only the week hearted stay and put up with less than they deserve.....Be strong.......I know you can do it.......I believe in you! Believe in yourself

Answer 5

I am sorry to hear this, but you should definitely move on. You deserve to be loved and respected. He needs to understand that he has some growing up to do after all this time. Stick to your guns and bid him a farewell. Move on.
Meanwhile, you should seek the Lord whole heartedly and HE will guide you through this. You just have to have faith and believe in Him.
As for your ex, he too needs to get his ducks in a row and seek Jesus Christ for refuge.
Remember, when you feel like you are down to nothing, God is up to something. Say a prayer. The Lord will hear you. -God Bless.

Answer 6

Let's see, He has abandoned you twice . He is a drinker. Has a bad temper and you don't have children together. Why in the world would you want to waste any more time waiting for things to change? He is stringing you along and you are allowing it. Pain is pain why do you want to be 55 or 60 and still in this situation. It is over, so bury it.

Answer 7

I would say don't contact him for now at least, Be strong and get on with your life. Make him see what he has lost! It may make him see all of his faults and you never know he may change his ways and you may end up back together.
It will hurt for a while but suround yourself with family and freinds and find people to talk to about it. My advice is to not bottle it up! Get it all out and you will find it easier to move foward.
Good luck, Hope you manage to have a good christmas. :)

Answer 8

Be strong & move on. Live life to be happy. He's an as*h***e to treat you like that doesn't care how you feel especially during Christmas time. You deserve better. My prayers are with you, take care.

Answer 9

He wants you to chase him but if you do then it will be on his terms.You will be the one that will have to change so dont go after him unless you are going to.how strong are you with out him.If you are devastated then you might want to get him back.if not then look for help to get through this

Answer 10

Best thing to do is show him you dont need him and not even call him or no contact at all.