How do you do that? If I do it in reponse to her request, then she will dismiss it because she told me to show her that I love her; i.e., it wasn't on my own initiative. What does she mean? What obvious or subtle way is she talking about? Women, what "code" is going on here?
2007-12-22 13:52:45 · 11 answers · asked by frippilla 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The problem is a difference in communication styles. You know you love her and maybe you even tell her you love her but what she wants are those little things. And you are right if you do it immideately after she says something to you about it she will dismiss it as trying to pacify her.
What does she want? For one thing ask her outright how you can better show her you love her. You might be surprised at the answer as it might be as small as kissing her goodbye each morning when you leave and hello when you get home (if you don't do this you really should), or maybe it's helping out around the house more or with the kids, or maybe it's calling her up and asking her out for an impromptu lunch.
Really what it comes down to is showing her that you are thinking about HER. You know you think about her, but since she can't read your mind she is relying on actions to show her that you are thinking about her. When you are away from her send her a text message that just says "I love you" or pick up the phone and call her during the day for no reason at all. If you are out at a store and see something she'd like no matter how small it is go ahead and pick it up and give it to her.
She's not looking for some grand gesture, it's the little things that really do go a long way with us women.
2007-12-22 15:46:46 · answer #1 · answered by SwingersBoard 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Love is a verb! It implies action! It seems that you are only verbal with your actions. If you must ask how, then you were too immature to get married in the first place. I would relay this message to your wife. Say you will not chain her to an immature husband and say you will file for divorce if she so requests it. Now if you really have no clue how to "show" love, at least this last act will show that you love her by releasing her from a poor marriage. Get off the computer, stop playing games, grow up, and get a better job! Women want security, romance, and muscles in her man! Not a gamer! Not an after hours porn watcher, not a sex machine, not a guy with the biggest stereo. Think adult, and you may have a chance, but, honestly, I think it's too late. Your actions say you love other things more than her. That's in a sense an affair. Doomed is a good description of your future!
2007-12-22 14:05:08 · answer #2 · answered by delux_version 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I'm married and I just said the same thing to my husband. He is never romantic at all. Let a little time pass. When she is in the kitchen either washing dishes or cutting Vegas. come behind her put your arms around her waist and kiss her neck. Start there. Get up before her and bring her breakfast in bed. Buy her some lingerie and tell her to put it on. That's what we're talking about. So I hope I helped you get it started and the rest I'm sure you'll be able to figure out. It's not hard.
2007-12-22 14:00:45 · answer #3 · answered by Katie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She is simply craving attention! So maybe one night when you too go to bed and start watching TV, ask her to lay on her tummy, have some lotion there and give her a Deep Massage, and whisper in her ear, " I will always love you hunny" I think it's nothing else than wanting to feel needed or needing attention, maybe she misses that. Try hugging her when shes cooking in the kitchen and kissing her goodbye on your way out the door. Little things mean a lot OR................................. Make her a card, something like
10 reasons I love you
You make me smile
your sensitive
your laugh
your beautiful
you make me happy
Or 10 reasons I will love you forever
The way you make me feel
The smile you put on my face everyday
Amazing Wife and Mother
I love everything about you
If I had to describe you in a word~~~~~
*Irreplaceable*
2007-12-22 14:33:57 · answer #4 · answered by darlin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I really like Vitiran's idea... but why only every three months...come on guys.... us women want to be shown more affection than just every three months....
I used to do this to my hubby, mostly when I was feeling really down about myself. It has nothing to do with what you are or are not doing... it is how we feel about ourselves that give us these nonsence notions. the answer before Vitiran's was a good suggestion to. Do you remember how to flirt? Okay... so flirt with your wife. Wink at her, stare at her, whistle at her, touch her softly, say comments like "Wow, Babe...that looks great on you". While you are watching a movie, start staring at her, paying her more attention than the movie, and when she asks you what your problem is, tell her you are having a problem with her because you can't keep your eyes off of her and it is very distracting because you can't pay attention to the movie with such a beautiful woman such as her that has you captivated. Also, expect her to have these moments of you not showing her you care about once every month or every other month. Us women are kinda crazy... have you noticed?
2007-12-22 14:08:29 · answer #5 · answered by homemaker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Going out on a limb here...first you must be very young or quite dense. I don't mean to be offensive however, there shouldn't have to be a code to figure out this one.
Its called "actions speak louder than words". Perhaps taking a truely deeper interest in what your wife enjoys, likes or things that make her laugh would be in order. Get to know her.
Send a small bouquet of flowers just to brighten her day writing on the card personally...saying you brighten my day...this ones for you...love... Or if she likes her feet rubbed just DO IT one night or day when your in the mood to please her.
Small things make a big difference. A relationship takes time and lots of work. Enjoy what you can while you have it to nurture and grow it. Or you may lose it.
Good luck and happy holidays.
2007-12-22 14:06:38 · answer #6 · answered by DeeDee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try this....
Forget about what she has asked. I wouldn't try to "understand" her. Your a guy. Be a guy.
Now, think about something that would make her feel good. Something that she would want to experience. Something that may take a few days to organize. Now write down the plan and execute it.
Wait for the smile on her face. How do you feel now?
Go for it. Do this about every 3 months.
2007-12-22 13:59:18 · answer #7 · answered by Vitiran 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The code is make me happy. What you obviously haven't learned yet is that it is impossible to make a woman happy. Ask her what she wants exactly. No matter what she asks for if you do it she won't be happy and will want something else. Grow some balls and stop jumping hoops for this mental patient and you will be much happier!!! Tell her to grow up!!!
2007-12-22 14:21:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is NO code at all.....apparently you ARE NOT the romantic type.....but hey that's okay................so you're not romantic........just tell her that you love her when she least expects it. Or, compliment her on what she is wearing......women need affection.....so give her a hug and remind yourself what made her attractive to you in the first place........just a gentle touch or a sweet word is enough.
2007-12-22 13:58:07 · answer #9 · answered by jazi 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it's just the little things that realy count like open the door for her help around the house the best ever is when she is doing dishes come up behind her and put your arms around her and tell her baby these can wait and kiss her neck softly she will know you care
2007-12-22 14:00:33 · answer #10 · answered by mom101 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋