existential crisis?

Question

i have a problem and i am wondering how to overcome it (i think it is an existential crisis).
i am in my late teens and i have been writing since i was twelve, but now the sparks gone and i start to wonder what the point of writing is. i used to read tolkien as a kid, but now the only thing that i like reading is nietzsche. now, i am starting to question a lot of things-especially after i learned buddhism. i am really annoyed by others to the point where i have stopped talking to anyone unless they talk to me. this is because they seem artificial. and everything is starting to seem artificial; i have forgotten what was authentic. i dont even think im authentic anymore. i used to think that by questioning everything, i could reach enlightenment, but now i am really wanting to go back to the way things were,when i was reading tolkien.what is also bugging me is the fact that i want to be a creative writer,but now ive got writers block probably because of my crisis.how do i overcome this?

Answer 1

The world around you is flawed. Extremely flawed and dirty, unkempt, misused. Looking as you are at the world you have tuned into this darkness and it is draining the hope from you.
Try this...Tune out everything. Clear your mind of all emotion and judgment about everything. Be the person you want to be. if you are creative then i know that you are naturally happy and this probably why the world as it is bringing you down.
I am sorry to say this but you have to care a little less about the world and more about yourself. Ask yourself what do i want? What makes me happy and go from there.
The world is always going to be filled with bad Karma.
I am sorry about the writing part of your life but you have probably just grown out of that stage of your life.

Answer 2

Remember that Tolkien was writing fantasy, and it's a natural inclination of the young and idealistic (I was one) to want the fantasy to be real. I hardly read anything but scifi until I was over 40. Even Buddhism can play the role of idealistic fantasy for the young seeker. The 4 vows of the Bodhisattva are a lovely example, especially the 1st: "Sentient beings are beyond numbering; I take a vow to save them all." That kind of idealism makes for good soldiers, priests, teachers, etc. But the only one who needs saving is oneself.

What one mostly needs saving from is those very idealistic fantasies. Others seem artificial because they differ from one's own notion of what's real, what's authentic. Truly, feeling like you've forgotten what's authentic is a good step in the right direction. Feeling lost and wanting to return to the comfortable fantasies of the past is like a roadsign that you're on the right track. Remember the saying:

Before I studied zen, mountains were mountains and rivers were rivers. While I was studying zen, mountains were no longer mountains and rivers were no longer rivers. But when I was finished studying zen, mountains were once again mountains and rivers were once again rivers.

You're just in the middle of your journey. Don't be afraid to press on. It's worth it. There comes a point where all the fantasies and intellectual baggage drop away. If you haven't read Zen Flesh, Zen Bones by Paul Repps, you should. Lots of good examples. My own teacher said enlightenment can be as simple as going shopping with your wife and not becoming impatient.

The real world just is what it is. It's not here to live up to your expectations. Neither are the people in it. 2nd and 3rd holy truths of buddhism tell you where you can stuff all those expectations.

As for writing, the block is caused by all those confused expectations. When you find yourself writing because you just can't help it, when writing is an outpouring of your being, there's no block. Try this. Start with, "Here I am staring at this stupid piece of paper because I've got writers block. There's so much I want to say, such as...., but ........ keeps me from saying it." It's a way of staying in the present. You might have to throw away the 1st couple of pages, but once the juice is flowing, you won't need them. There's some nice stuff in "Zen and the Art of Motorcyle Maintenance" about writing, too.

Answer 3

this is the philosophy section, so i will give a more philosophical answer here (please also see my answer in R & S section). "what is also bugging me is the fact that i want to be a creative writer." you are, if you believe you are. from my experience of writing, i can tell you that writing is definately a very powerful intellectual tool, which, if used in the right manner, can significantly impact on the way you affect the world around you. you possess the key ingredient to be a good writer....that is, the desire to write, and more too, the desire to be a great and creative writer. maybe you can use this desire to help you in this time of life crisis. try channeling your thoughts on this crisis into words. in other words, take the problem, and as best as you can, morph it into a fragment of literature. go ahead...be creative with it. the great thing is that on paper, you have no limits. on paper, you can modify this problem into anything you want. the whole idea is to draw the negative energy out of your present real life crisis experience and trap it in writing. because once it's down in writing, you then fel empowered to bend, twist, modify and even destroy the problem at your will. in other words...you would have taken the problem (or percieved problem) out of real life, where you feel that you are powerless against it, and transferred it into a form in which you have complete control over it - in writing. the problem will now be playing on your court - your expertise is writing, so you will ultimately be at an advantage here, and you will be in charge of the problem's fate. how does that sound? :)
and, once you feel in charge of this problem, it may once again help to revive your confidence in writing, since it would be in writing that you had conquered the problem! this acts as an inspirational medium to rejuvenate your writing creativity. :) i really hope this helps. give it a shot.

Peace
~Rx~

Answer 4

Why do you want to overcome this? What state do you wish to enter in to? All states are based on thought and that thought is the result of conditioning and remembered sensory experience.
You are not your thoughts or even a 'you'. What is there has nothing to do with thinking and dreaming of the future. It just Is.
All belief is fraud, even the words I am writing now are fraudulent in that the true meaning is held here and you can only translate it into your conditioned experience.

If all you think is false what is left?

The living thing. The natural spontaneous life.

Answer 5

My friend, you wish you took the blue pill instead of the red one, correct?

I think you’re on the other spectrum of life: Life is humorous to those who think and tragedy to those who feel. But you are right. I'd say 99 percent of the people are unreal. It IS depressing, but don't you think your better off? You really are. And by questioning you are reaching nirvana. You know so much more compared to others!!! What do you expect? Nirvana is no easy stage. You gotta shake the most essential beliefs! And this crisis that you are having, well that is PERFECT material for writing - journey of the mind. It won't do any good to live in nostalgia.

Answer 6

This may be a difficult notion to accept (I continue to struggle with it), but everything is both artificial and authentic.

Look for the pleasing qualities in others and in yourself. Do not overlook the displeasing ones, but focus on the aspects that empower growth.

Answer 7

Don't try to overcome it - just ride with it. You are maturing and changing, thats all. Authenticity is about making your outside match your inside, be real.

Write whatever comes, without analysis, without judgement, without trying to be a good writer. Just write. Writers write, that is what they do.

Answer 8

Look up the man who said: "I think, therefore I am". He went through the same thing as you. You're you're kind of feeling like you're in a Matrix world, he's got the answer. If you think and you can acknowledge it, you definitely exist in some form