How can I- wife- "confront" my husband or have him admit he's gay (IF he is indeed gay)?

Question

He's been looking at a number of gay porn sites which he brushed off as pop-ups but were actually in his history-where you can see the other 'pages' browsed in the same website. He's also always asking whether I like to do anal sex whenever we have sex. He's also told me of an incident at his work where he was in the men's restroom w/ another gay guy with the lights dimmed and was "caught"/questioned (as far as what he was doing with the restroom lights deliberately dimmed with a gay guy) and 'teased' by another man. He passed this as something funny and got pissed when I asked him why in the world someone would deliberately dim the lights in the restroom of a company. He easily gets pissed when I -even simply- tease him about being gay. He likes to act out Bette Midler's way of walking down the stairs. And sounds as if he's so against gay men. We're just married for nearly two years now and I just want to get this over my head as early as possible. He's been divorced twice.dissolution

We're deciding on a divorce now...This is not the only heartaches I have about him. He's also an alcoholic who consumes a liter of whiskey in two days & sometimes buy them days in a row. He is also a chainsmoker who smokes at least two packs a day. I admit I was a fool not to have recognize or see how heavy his vices are before I married him. He never showed me he's this heavy with his vices before I married him. He also has the habit of shouting at me and calling me names aside from cursing at me when he's pissed off at me which is most of the time very unreasonable and very trivial. I can't imagine myself leaving my husband after all the dreams I have of having a good family, even without children (since I highly doubt he can give me children-he's been into his vices more than 25 years now). I learned only after we got married that he was admitted to a rehabilitation center for alcoholics..I always thought there are reasons for everything...but what is it for this heavy burden?

Answer 1

Go to the store and buy a strap-on. Tie him down to the bed *** up, and sneak off and put it on. Don't even give him an option, just lube it up and rail him with it. This will make him think your cool with it, maybe you will be, and he'll open up his secret to you. Maybe he just fantasizes about you doing that to him, you never know.

Answer 2

Ok first of all, non of this actually means he's "gay" .. i had a bf that actually was very homophobic but could impersonate a gay guy like you wouldnt believe..

I even found him looking on the pc at friend finder at pictures of men's penis' when i asked him why?? he said as stupid as it sounded he wanted to see how he measured up comparably. Alot of guys especially ones that are average or less then average have issues with the size of their penis' its a male ego thing.

As far as anal sex.. i havent met a straight guy yet that hasnt once tried to talk their significant other into anal sex.. so just because he wants to try anal sex with u doesnt mean hes gay.

As far as the bathroom situation, its definately odd, but anyone with half a brain who was living in the closet, wouldnt dare do something with someone in a community bathroom at work.. it would of been a hell of alot easier just to lock the door, then to actually dim the lights and risk being caught.

To be aware of his behavior is one thing, but none of this actually proves that he's gay.

Answer 3

I was married for 20 years. I was also gay the whole time. Coming out is a very difficult thing to do. You assume that you will lose the life you know. Some people do.

Most of the gay people I know, were married in the past.

The behaviors you have described tells me that he is most likely gay. I would encourage him to seek a counselor.

Answer 4

Yikes!! I would tell him that you have suspicions, and you aren't going to judge him for his sexual preference, BUT you deserve to know and deserve an explanation of why and what he was thinking when he led you on. You can't get mad because he's gay but you can be furious that he made vows to you that were empty. Obviously, if admits this your life will change. The marriage can't continue. I'm sorry to say but all signs point to gay, here. Good Luck.

Answer 5

There are very few times in life when you should completely give up on a person sooner rather than later.

This is one of them. Divorce him and move on.

If he is indeed a homosexual, then nothing is going to change him.

After the divorce is final you will then need to do some emotional investigation of your own.

You will need to discover why it is you find it so easy to lie to yourself and ignore the red flags of the men you date.

Merry Christmas

Answer 6

Oh yeah. Dim lights in a restroom? All you had to say is that you are married to Larry Craig. Yeah, your hubby is a colon patroller. He likes man coochie.

Answer 7

Your wife number 3?
Being divorced 2 times should have been a red flag hon.Talk to his ex's.

Answer 8

Believe me he's gay. My ex was also looking at gay porn sites and said the same thing to me about it being pop-ups. He left me after 23 years of marriage and I finally found out he was gay from our oldest child. He couldn't come out and tell me. He may never be able to tell you...........

Answer 9

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Answer 10

OH MY GOD!!!!!!! Trust me girl.....run for your life! I only wish I had listened to my gut years ago. I was married to one of them for over 20 years! After I left him, he took up with his "bodybuilder" friend! I just pray you have no children with him. It RUINED my life! God, I should really write a book on the signs and symptoms we choose to ignore. My ex also appeared to hate "gays"! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!1