Am I cold-hearted or immune to emotion?

Question

This has been bugging me for months... I need someone to tell me that I'm not going crazy. To make this post short, I will use numbers:

1. Someone I really care about is dying. I can't seem to accept it, and I always put it out of my mind and live my life normally, such as having fun and having a social life. Sometimes I forget about it altogether...
2. When my grandma had a stroke, I failed to show emotion or be upset. I was about 9 years old when it happened. When we were at the hospital, I was more worried about just getting home.
3. My grandma also had a heart attack a couple of years ago, and when I was told, I failed to bring myself to feel any pain. Of course I care about her, but it felt like I didn't.

Does that make me cold and inhuman? More than anything, I want to show more of a reaction, but I'm so numb. I tend to carry on with life as normal, but it's not the way it should be.

Answer 1

When you're 9, I seriously doubt you had much concept of what a stroke was really so getting upset doesn't really come into it.

With regards the other stuff - I'd agree there is a risk it might all build up, but don't stress yourself about this stuff. Some people show and feel emotions on the outside a lot, others feel them but maybe not in the same way. We're all wired differently so we react differently.

To give you an example, I can be very generous towards other people, but every funeral I've been to I just sit there thinking - when can I go home, I've got things to do. It's a way of switching it off since if you don't let it in, it can't mess with your emotions.

Actually you might be a major asset because you can think clearly during these kinds of events. So while other people are wrapped up in emptions, you can deal with it.

You are a nice person. If you were inhuman you wouldn't be worrying about it and asking here now would you. Oh as for not being what it should be....well, who ever said that other people are right?

Answer 2

Its not always necessarily being cold or inhuman, sometimes it could you tried so long to prevent it from bothering you that you mastered it beyond the point of control, these type of blank emotions can be something that is a relic of your past that grew stronger and stuck with you, it could be that you don't want to show your true emotions that's locked away within you so you keep it trapped and you did for so long that your unable to retrieve those emotions at the moment, the only way you can unlock those emotions is to look deep within yourself and really think about why, also you maybe able to see the good that comes out of this, many people may look at it as being cold, but when you care enough for someone at times, you can very well be somewhat joyful for them leaving their state of misery, death is not a bad thing all the way around when a loved one passes due to natural causes, i know when my grand parents died, i had a mixture of emotions, sad that they were moving on into the afterlife, but on the same token, relieved that they no longer have to feel pain, there are several factors involved in this subject, i could go on all day, if it really bothers you, you may want to get consoling to boost your help in unlocking your true emotions, hope this helps you out with a better understanding, and goodluck.

Answer 3

You've probably just learned to repress your emotions really well. Try screaming really loudly, just for no reason, or try punching something, and keep doing it until all those repressed emotions come back, and then keep doing it until they're all out. Or if that doesn't work, try breathing. Sit down and start breathing deeply, as deep as you can, and focus on your breath. Don't think about anything else.Try to breath with your belly. Make it expand as you breath in, and fall as you breathe out. Do that every night before bed.

No, you should not consider talking to a therapist about it. They have the same problems. Why do you think they became therapists? Have you ever seen a therapist that's really happy and ecstatic all the time? How can they make you happy if they're not happy?

Answer 4

I suggest that you just accept yourself as you are. If you try to fight who you are at this moment in time, the "distance" you feel from people will only intensify. You are not "broken". I would guess that you have experienced some tragedy in your life and did not feel outward grief would be acceptable. You may have learned this from your parents example OR you may have decided that you do not want to feel vulnerable..which is what we become when we express our emotions. Dont worry....do the work of looking back to see where and when you developed this coping mechanism...thats all this is...a coping mechanism. It is a good one unless taken to the extreme.....you are not there yet. Please dont wait until something really small happens and your world crumbles, although if this is what is in Gods plan for you, so be it.

Answer 5

Am I Cold Hearted

Answer 6

Everyone has different ways of dealing with grief. Yours sounds like denial. It might catch up to you later in the form of depression or other problems. You should consider talking to a therapist about it.