This woman is a friend of his that he has known for a while now. He says he would never act on it because he loves me. I asked him not to go around her anymore and he said I couldn't ask him to do that because they are friends. I think I have every right to ask him to stay away from her. Am I right? I told him the more he is around her them more likely the feeling are to grow stronger so I wanted him to stay away. I am already upset enough that he has feelings for her, I don't think I am being over the edge by asking him not to go around her anymore.
2007-12-22 06:27:15 · 21 answers · asked by doc_is 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I agree with you 100%! You have every right to ask him not to see her. If he refuses, then he is saying that his friendship with her is more important than yours and his relationship! This obviously upsets you, and he was expecting it too, and you should be his number one priority. If he doesn't want to make you that, then is he really worth keeping for the rest of your life? He isn't willing to give up a friendship with a woman that he wants to sleep with??? Hes a married man, he shouldn't have these feelings and since he does, he should want to stay away from her to be faithful to his loving and caring wife.
2007-12-22 06:33:35 · answer #1 · answered by sweetpea5499 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No you're not over the edge. It is commendable that your husband has discussed this with you before something physical has happened.
He says he loves you and if that is really the case, he must recognize the danger this presents to the relationship the two of you have.
If this woman is really a friend, he should tell her about these feelings and that he needs to stay away from her for the sake of his marriage. If she REALLY is a friend, she will understand and agree.
2007-12-22 14:45:37 · answer #2 · answered by nevit 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well yes, you have every right in the world to ask him to stay away from her.
Did he just come out and confess?
Does he think that now by telling/confessing his feelings that this in some way makes it alright to continue seeing her?
I know he's saying she is his "friend" but that's usually how it starts out as you are already well aware of.
Stick to your guns, tell him it has to be this way or you will never trust him again. Then ask him how much does he want his marriage to survive?
Be ready for his answer though, I can't believe he'd actually tell you this but refuse to stop being around her.....shame on him and her ~ you are right to be firm on this one.
2007-12-22 14:50:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am a married woman.
Yes you hve the right to demand that he stop seeing her.
Do you think he will listen?
Even if he says he no longer sees her can you assume he is telling the truth?
If you give him an ultimatum and make him choose then he might pick her over you.Then what?
I would say dont get too crazy.Take it easy,when he realizes that you are not heading to jump off a bridge he might decide to end it.See what happens,be calm and composed and be strong.If nothing works then you might have to go your own way or accept her as a mistress maybe.
I know women who have done just that,because they dont want a divorce and they have no choice.
2007-12-22 16:04:55 · answer #4 · answered by angelguide 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know how you feel, my husband told me that he has feelings for an ld girlfriend from about ten years ago. I haven't told him yet but as soon as I get my career going that I am taking our two beautiful children and moving out. I cannot afford to right now or I would have already left. You need to get out of this relationship. I know it is hard but you have to do what is best for yourself. Put your happiness first.
2007-12-22 15:57:10 · answer #5 · answered by de de 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As his wife, you have every right to ask him to stay away from a woman who's a possible temptation and a chance to destroy your marriage. Let him know how this makes you feel & the possible consequences of him surrounding himself by this type of temptation all the time.
2007-12-22 14:35:48 · answer #6 · answered by Helen 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are on target with your thoughts on the more he stays around her, the more likely the feelings will grow. Though I think he feels he should get a pass because he SAYS he won't act on it. Could you get him to go to joint counseling? FWIW, he is not considering your feelings by not staying away.
2007-12-22 14:36:32 · answer #7 · answered by eldots53 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
its very rare for a friendhsip between a man and a woman not to develop into a romantic relationship. Tell your husband to choose and decide. If he truly loves you, you will be his priority and he will not put himself in a situation where there is temptation. he cannot love 2 women at the same time. He has to choose. Be strong
2007-12-22 14:45:45 · answer #8 · answered by DB_MONTY 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
you can not work on your marriage if he is seeing someone he has feelings for .you are absolutely right the more he is around her the worse its gonna get , if he doesn't see that then you already have a problem. you need to demand he stay away from her if not , you need to tell him you are gonna leave
2007-12-22 15:14:00 · answer #9 · answered by just me 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your husband loves you, he won't go around another woman he "has feelings for". He is running your marriage into the ditch! If he thinks you're being unreasonable, tell him he's free to go see her....and stay.... because you won't be around. Then unless your feet are nailed to the floor, RUN RUN RUN!!!
2007-12-22 16:42:02 · answer #10 · answered by missingora 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋