This comes from another question which claimed that women earn less than men because they work less. All the reasons why were associated with having children, which any full time parent will tell you IS work, and hard work at that, just not paid, and judging by the misogynist attitude to divorced women getting alimony, not at all valued either.
When a woman works less in paid work because she is doing most of the childcare why is it not reasonable to redress that in some way?
If a man took on most of the childcare and the woman carried on working (still a rare arrangement) would both men and women think that this was 'taking "equality" too far'? Or should men be given incentives to do this? If a man were given incentives would that be discrimination?
2007-12-22 04:57:15 · 10 answers · asked by Ellesar 6 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
If a man wants to really raise his kids then he should understand that he needs to be there a lot, and due to the way that most jobs insist on full time and all that it would mean giving up work for a while. I knew a couple who decided that she would do the first year, and then he would take over. This meant that she could fully breastfeed (which was important to them), but he would still be there for a lot of the really important stuff (and of course the really hard parts of raising a child), which he wanted to experience. The only downside of this was that some women in early years settings were not that welcoming to him. That is where I met him, and we would chat all the time, but more conventionally minded women just didn't really welcome him (but then they didn't really welcome me either!).
2007-12-22 05:16:29 · answer #1 · answered by Fanny Blood 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A woman has to make a decision whether she prioritizes her childcare or career. She may do both, but I believe one will have to suffer. If her primary responsibility is to care for the child at home, she has sacrificed and given up her career. There is no way she could have progressed professionally and been a full-time mother at the same time. In this case, she should be entitled to 50/50 and alimony in a divorce. Parenting takes two, and if the mother took most of the responsibility, not only did she care for THEIR child but also provided a stable home for him to come to. He brought home the money, making it possible to have a home. It was a team effort. She will need the alimony to make the changes to get on her feet and get back to the workforce. She shouldn't be punished for having made sacrifices for the well-being of THEIR child or family.
But unfortunately, just like any other law, this has been greatly taken advantage of and alimony has become a matter of revenge and bitterness. I believe judges need to show greater responsibility in fixing the problem, as they ultimately do have the power.
2007-12-22 05:10:21 · answer #2 · answered by Lioness 6 · 5⤊ 1⤋
It's OK for men to perform "stay-at-home father" roles and functions. This is a discussion the couple ought to have and come to an agreement upon. If the woman really believes she should be the one who goes to work, and her husband should stay home, then the husband should give it a try. I did. I failed at first, but after time I figured out what I was doing right and wrong, and got better as a dad. It's a special role men can play in their family's life.
2007-12-22 07:51:04 · answer #3 · answered by chdoctor 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Women's work is never done. The saying is true. Women have to be available to their children 24/7, holidays included. Men claim they can't get up with kids in the middle of the night because they have to go to work the next day. This is a load of you-know-what!
Women always get the short end of the stick. They have to take care of a house, work, go to school and take care of their children.
The only incentive men should receive is that they are a parent and they need to share in the child rearing responsibilities.
2007-12-22 05:07:59 · answer #4 · answered by Big Bear 7 · 7⤊ 1⤋
My husband and I have similar jobs with similar pay, we have no children yet but both plan on having an active role in our child's lives. I believe that I will do a majority the first month or so because I will be on maternity leave, however he has expressed being a very involved father to his children. This is one of the many reason's I married him.
2007-12-22 06:45:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Still, if you can get an accurate accounting of time spent with children, the mothers will have the greater number of hours.
There are exceptions, but I don't personally know any couples like that.
I do wonder about the mothers that leave their children in private or commercial daycare when the children are small. These children are being mothered but not by their Moms.
C. :)!!
2007-12-22 05:15:56 · answer #6 · answered by Charlie Kicksass 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You know many men try to help out with child rearing the problem comes with the woman constantly telling the man he doesn't do this or that right. If someone is constantly told he is inept eventually he will quit trying. So maybe women could be more supportive of men when they make the effort because we really do want to help. Women have to learn to make up their minds though and not be jealous if the man is good at child rearing. women spend a lot of time blaming this lack of interest on men but at he same time it is one of the catch 22's men deal with concerning women. If we help you get mad at us for interfering if we don't then we are lazy. So maybe you women should just make up your minds about what you want and stick to it.
Oh and having been a stay at home dad I know for a fact that being a stay at home isn't as hard as you make it out to be. I did all of the housework driving and cooking as well as the chores that are traditionally male like lawn care, vehicle maintenance, home maintenance. Now with a newborn in the house I will admit would have made it more difficult.
And being able to be at home with my kids was payment for me so I think your argument that money should be handed to to stay at home workers when the breadwinner pays for housing food vehicle utilities. Both are working that's true but you people act like he gets to keep it all.
2007-12-22 08:39:46 · answer #7 · answered by Chevalier 6 · 2⤊ 3⤋
in my experience, I have 2 kids and worked full time too- I did ALL the childcare and ALL the household chores and most of the outdoor chores too- any damn wonder I divorced the father?
2007-12-22 07:06:55 · answer #8 · answered by flyingdove 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ideally, the man and the woman should be splitting the child-care duties evenly. Workplaces should be ready to promote both maternity and paternity leave.
2007-12-22 05:03:41 · answer #9 · answered by Rio Madeira 7 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Share responsibility EQUALLY. So much analysis! I guess that's why the first part of ANALysis is ANAL.
2007-12-22 05:02:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋