Am I right? My husband walks around nude?

Question

My husband walks around nude in front of my 8 year old son and 6year old daughter. We argue about this constantly, he tells me he'll stop but then does it again. My daughter says "Daddy" like she's uncomfortable. i think he thinks its funny. What do you people think?

Wow I guess I'm really surprised by the responses, and I thought I felt strongly.
I guess I should say that he does put his hands over the general area and its like just when he enters or exits the bathroom to shower or dress. I don't think it makes a difference though. I was on the phone with his parents once and I even said it white his mom was on the other line. Her response was like I was picking on him or being a *****. So thats why I asked the question.

Answer 1

I really don't believe the nonsense that seeing parents nude will scar a child, but I do believe your husband should respect his children's feelings and practice a little modesty in the household. No one wants to see their parents nude. Yuck! I've had the misfortune of seeing my parents nude occasionally and it is very unpleasant.
As far as judging my own body by comparison to theirs, that's ridiculous. Instant reaction is to look away. Anything that I saw was but a blur, and that wasn't even a conscious decision. Then again, I was raised to believe that there was nothing wrong with the human body and that it was a beautiful thing, but is not to be flaunted in front of others. Perhaps those fragile children that supposedly were scarred by nudity simply need parents that will take time to teach them about life.
Sorry, ranted a bit. >,<
Next time you try and talk to him about it, see if you can convince him to ask the kids if they are embarrassed when he walks out of the bathroom. You don't have to use the words "nude" or "naked". It'll be easier on them if you don't and they're old enough to know what you mean without saying it. If he won't listen to you, certainly he will listen to them! If not, you could ask him to at least wear a towel around his waist. If he's even too lazy or stubborn to do that, try getting his clothes out for him and leave them on the bathroom counter. No reason to walk out naked if your clothes are right there, right? Maybe he will take the hint eventually. It's obviously more of an issue for you than it is for him, so you may have to do things to make it more convenient for him. You shouldn't have to, but you can't always make someone see things your way.
I hope this advice helps and good luck! Good luck to those poor kids too! Especially the daughter! Ewww.

I just want to add that I think it's unfair for so many to call your husband a "pervert". My husband also likes to walk to the bedroom to dress. It keeps his clothes from getting all steamy in the bathroom, and gives his body a nice breezy trip to the bedroom to dry off before putting them on. This is especially helpful when you plan to wear bluejeans and don't feel like hanging out in the moist bathroom long enough for your skin to dry. Not to mention that deodorant usually doesn't work well enough unless you put it on after your skin dries. And there's nothing wrong with enjoying being nude! He doesn't do this anymore, as we have a 3 yr old daughter, but he certainly isn't a pervert. He was the first one to start avoiding situations where our daughter saw us nude. For instance, she has already long ago learned not to walk into a bathroom when someone else is in there.
I'm sorry so many have been so cruelly judgmental toward your husband. It seems most likely that he really doesn't agree that anything is wrong with it, especially considering his mothers' reaction, and that he thinks it's silly for you to think that it embarrasses your daughter. He likely feels that you're overreacting and finds that amusing. That's my opinion, but only you can know for sure. You could try asking him if this is how he feels. In my experience, men often just shrug things off when women start expressing feelings and don't offer their own input unless provoked.

Answer 2

I'm a nudist and I've known several nudist households with children, and the children - like their parents - come to regard clothes as an unnaturally necessary thing for a society caught up in consumerism and society making rules guiding behavior to perpetuate sales.

Parents and people in general who have a difficult time with their own body have a tendency to project their own insecurities on their children and the world around them.

As you see nude bike rides, beaches turn nude, and parks embracing it, you're going to find how much you were programmed and how others - who simply accept their own body - are onto something that you as an immature and insecure adult are demonizing for no real reason other than it's the world your parents gave to you.

Grow up.

Answer 3

That's not right at all.. he needs to be wearing something (at least undwear!) around the kids. It's bad enough to behave that way in front of anyone at all, but to do so in front of your children.. is completely unacceptable.

My husband has a habit of wearing just his underwear around the house, in the evenings.. I have a problem with that (I think people should be dressed.. not running around in their underwear), so I would not even almost accept it if he chose to wear nothing at all. That's disgusting!

You know, you should tell your husband that his behavior could actually cause social services to get involved.. if your children were to say anything about it to anyone. It's not funny.. and he needs to realize that what he's doing is not only tacky and setting a bad example, but it could also bring legal problems, if certain people/agencies find out about what he's doing.

I wouldn't accept that kind of behavior.. absolutely not. If my husband insisted on walking around the house nude.. he would be doing it somewhere else. That's just uncalled for.. especially in front of the children.

Answer 4

If the children are uncomfortable, it is very wrong. Tell him that he needs to start wearing clothes in the house, or you'll leave. It is your job as a mother to protect them. A man doesn't just forget to put on clothes around his children. He's getting something from it...I'm not saying he's a perv...but maybe he likes the attention. Tell him to find another way to joke around with the kids. If he still does it, then he is a sick perv and needs some major help...then kick him out. Would you let a close neighbor or someone walk around your kids naked and make them feel uncomfortable?? You shouldn't let their father do it either. Call the cops if it doesn't stop. Good luck.

Answer 5

Well, I think you should make him stop...not like that is possible making someone do something, but if your daughter is uncomfortable then yeah, you could research a family counselor and have them make a house call, with what you just said I am sure you would get an immediate response...

Answer 6

I don't know WHY some guys think their bodies are so great... Next time when your husband walks around nude, you and your son and daughter laugh and point at his "lower midsection". If this doesn't work, invite a girlfriend over without his knowing, and tell her to look at him like he is disgusting. Maybe he'll get the idea.

Answer 7

Why not just line the walls in mirrored tiles as well, so he can admire himself while he's prancing about showing himself off? Yes, I think full scale nudity launched on an unsuspecting neighborhood and close friends is rather odd.....I fear your all future holidays may be at the local nudist colony ;)

Answer 8

That is just totally wrong. He is scaring the children. When I was married, no kids, I would walk around nude but I would not do it if any kids were invloved. I would put your foot and tell him to stop and what harm he might be causing to the children.

Answer 9

My ex never made a conscious effort either way, but wasn't one to walk around the house naked anyway. We always had an open bathroom of sorts though & when my son, who is 15 now, was about 9, I put my foot down about him even coming in when I was showering. I didn't do it directly or in an ugly way toward him, I just began pulling the door to when I was in there & he got the message pretty quickly. I believe that you have to be somewhere in the middle because you don't want children to be self conscious of their bodies or freak out when they see someone naked, but you also don't want to run a nudist colony in your home either. In my opinion, bottom line, if your daughter has started to complain, he needs to take that as a clue that she's maturing & it's embarrassing to her. I'd ask him to go with you to a family counselor, who could possibly get it through to him better than you could, since what's going on so far hasn't helped.

I also found this article on Slate.com:

Should Kids See Their Parents Naked?
The supposed dangers of familial nudity.
By Michelle Tsai
Posted Friday, Sept. 21, 2007, at 12:43 PM ET

Is it okay for your kid to see you like this?
A court commissioner has ordered Britney Spears to undergo random drug and alcohol testing as well as meet with a parenting coach for eight hours each week. The pop star has been excoriated for her parenting blunders; she reportedly feeds her children junk food, whitens their teeth, and, according to a former bodyguard, regularly parades around them in the nude. What effect does parental nudity have on a young child?

If the kid is younger than 3 years old, it's probably harmless. At least, this is what many adolescent psychiatrists believe; there have been few rigorous studies of the subject. Very young children won't notice anything odd about a parent who prances around the house in the buff. Likewise, babies who breastfeed at 12 months are physically intimate with their mothers and don't think twice about it. Chances are good that a 2- or 3-year-old won't form any lasting memories of seeing his parents in their birthday suits.

Seeing your parents au naturel can be confusing for older kids who are more curious about bodies and sexuality. A child might wonder why a parent's genitals look different from his own; he might feel inferior by comparison, or jealous; and he might be a bit frightened of the size and hair. Too much exposure might also overstimulate a child, stirring up sexual excitement along with Oedipal anxiety.

One Stanford University study from the 1980s found that children in the United States develop a sense of modesty somewhere between the ages of 4 and 8 (and sooner for kids with an older sibling to emulate). Researchers questioned parents in more than 400 California households about what they observed of their children's development and followed with updates over a three-year period. In this age range, it turns out, kids start to learn the cultural norm for privacy—this is when little boys stop going to women's restrooms with their mothers, or little girls no longer want their fathers to give them baths.

Bonus Explainer: What will Britney learn from her "parenting coach"? How to set goals and solve problems relating to her kids. Parent coaching sprang up as a vocation just a few years ago, so there aren't very many programs that accredit professionals. Most coaches will charge anywhere from $40 to $125 a session to help parents do anything from finding a nursery school to working with new stepparents or dealing with sibling rivalry. In theory, a trained outsider can help parents find new ways to handle problems, or at least break old patterns; frustrated parents apparently tend to revert to the parenting style that they grew up with.

Answer 10

This question shouldn't even be asked. I'm sorry you should know this answer. You need to tell you immature husband that walking around nude is disrespectful to the kids and needs to stop immediately.. End of story!!!