What should I expect next?

Question

I'm pregnant and my said about a month ago that he wants to separate. I have been faithful but he says he needs time to figure out where he's going in life. There were signs of this from him but I was in denial. I've made plans to separate but I want so desperately for things to work. He has been to our appointments, bought me maternity clothes etc. and we haven't discussed him moving out in about a week although we both have plans to move the first of the year. So why is he doing all of these things? What should I expect next? If I mention him moving, he tells me that he doesn't want to talk about it and I'm being negative... any suggestions?

the first line should say my husband

Also, I want to think he has been faithful but lately it's hard to tell..what motive would he have for leaving??

I'm 25 and he's 27

Answer 1

If he leaves it's his loss on his new baby. If he comes back you need to leave him . For being a male that leaves out on his family.. End of story...

Answer 2

I agree with Brad V. He might just be scared of the thought of being a father. Some men are really intimidate by this event.

Just wait things out until after the baby is born. If he is still acting funny after that then, you know what the old folks say. Mama's baby....Daddy's maybe. Send him packing because you could do bad if not better by yourself. Don't feel you have to have a man around to raise a child. I made the same mistake and regret waiting too long to wake up and see the light.

Wish you luck on both events and have an easy birth. Walk a lot....it helps.

Answer 3

I would just keep trucking. You can't live your life and raise your child by the actions of another. As a single mom I understand the want to have someone else there helping you through things.

He appears to be wanting to make things work at least keep a good relationship between you and him for the baby. If you can't make your relationship work then the 1st thing is to make a parenting relationship work. Talk to him about all of this. If you aren't open and honest you can't expect him to be with you.

What to expect next.. nothing, don't expect anything. Know that he is confused. If the plan was to separate... then keep that plan down the path. It may be easier to do this now while you can still stand to be in the same room. If by the grace of god, it works out between the 2 of you then you will have that regardless of where you are at now.

Answer 4

How long does it take? About as long as the time it takes you to finally decide to get a lawyer and sue their as$es off for using a nail gun on you : P You gotta be kidding me, I can understand corporal punishment and hard physical endurance and conditioning training. But a nail gun? What's next? A chainsaw is my guess. If you bleed a lot during classes then that means they're not teaching you right. Unless you're a masochist, the whole point of taking self defense classes is to avoid shedding your own blood in the first place. Besides, I never heard of an MMA school that gives out black belts. And driving a nail into a board is about as useful as learning how to catch flies with a chopstick, it looks cool but is absolutely useless in a real fight. Unless you plan on a career in the circus that is.

Answer 5

I hate to say it, but he's probably really leaving. Going to the appointments and buying the clothes and things are probably mostly out of guilt. He doesn't want to talk about it for one of two reasons...either he doesn't want to upset you any more than necessary in your condition, or he's a coward. Either way, there is one thing that is positive and not negative in this whole situation. If he's not going to be around, it's better that he leave now, and not in a year or so after the baby's used to him being around. You can do this...I divorced my baby's father...it became final the month before she was born. It's hard, but you can do this. Good luck.

Answer 6

Stop tip-toeing around this guy and say to him you are in the midst of a very important thing right now, the birth of OUR baby. Either he sucks it up and grows up or gets the heck out.

This garbage about "needs time to figure out where he's going" at a time when he should be supportive, caring and a HUSBAND is selfish, immature and rotten.

He is probably being "nice" right now just to put on a good face, men hate to be thought of as scum (for what they do).

Take care of you and the child and lay down the law; I cannot have stress now and have to think of my health and the babies, either you are going to be here for me or not, what's it going to be? What's there to think about "going in life"--you are GOING to be a father, you ARE a husband, that is where you ARE now, period!

Get some counseling, if he won't go that says a lot. Take care, get the support you need and try to focus on you and the baby. I'll pray for you.

Answer 7

If you suspect him cheating, then he probably is. I'm sorry to say that. If you really want to know, hire a private investigator. Get some pictures of the affair and hire a good divorce lawyer.
He feels obligated to your child. Not to you. He is obviously feeling confused right now. Maybe scared and intimidated by the added pressure of having a child.
However, beyond what I say......talk to him. Ask him if he still loves you, is there someone else, why does he want to separate? You two have quite a bit of talking to do. It's possible that there is no other woman. However, you need to resolve this before your baby is born.

Good luck to you.

Answer 8

Well he's left you knowing nothing about anything. Talk about mixed messages too.
If you both have plans to move at the first of the year, I assume you mean separately. It's rather close not to have a place picked out and deposits paid at this point.
Where he's going in life is to fatherhood. I think he's scared of really growing up.

Answer 9

The only reason that I could think of for a husband to even think about leaving is another woman. Now I do not know your marriage's history, there could be several underlying issues, but let's just say all things are equal and you have a "normal" marriage. Most likely, he made a "friend" and they have a friendship that has taken the next step. She probably makes him feel "special" and "wanted" because what else is there for her to do? They don't have all of the real life issues to deal with. It's all about them. So he probably thinks he would be happier with her.He probably wants to test the waters with this other person, but isn't 100% positive that it will work out. So by seperating, he is kinda putting your marriage on "pause" to see if this other person is what he thinks she could be. If it does not, he would just hit "play" and resume his relationship with you. So you have to look deep inside yourself and ask what you will tolerate.

Answer 10

If he in fact has not been faithful, then it could be his guilt. He could be pushing you away because he feels bad. My advice would be to talk to him, set him down and be like I know you don't want to talk, but I need this. Communication is the only thing that will hold a relationship together. You are gonna have to be forgiving and have faith in him. I feel for you because i know it is rough. If he still wants to terminate the relationship, then I can only say to let go. It will be hard, but all things happen for a reason...good luck to you girl.

Answer 11

It sounds like he has re -thought the situation since you announced the pregnancy.

The ball is in his court as far as moving is concerned. I believe you should continue your relationship in an upbeat manner, but not addressing the issue of either of you moving.

The chances are, he is ready to work things out but doesn't know how to address it with you. Leave it alone for now, enjoy your holidays together, keep a positive spin on your relationship, and chances are, this whole thing will blow over.