What would you do if you husband was the biggest pain in the butt? What are ways to fix things?

Question

Hes not a bad guy just so needy he cant do anything for himself he asks my opinion on everything and has an answer for all I say Hes just a pain but i do love him and he is good to me for the most part
He is going to counseling but doesnt seem to help to much yet

It wasnt so bad when we were dating I am with him 6 years and we have 3 kids
He is a good man just a pain always asking me where things are and what looks better He isnt abusive or crazy lol and I have talked to him thats why hes in counseling just thought maybe others out there would have ideas on what to do

Answer 1

try to be patient. If he is going to counseling than he is trying. Think about it what if he was the opposite of that and never talked to you about anything. Counseling takes awhile to work. And there may be underlying issues .

Answer 2

First, I agree with Brad V on something you can do to help him learn to make his own decisions.
Second, it's hard to give advice with this description of his behavior. Some people are just indecisive. I don't really understand how this is a serious enough issue to warrant counseling.
It would probably help if he were more confident. Don't make decisions for him and compliment him on his choices every now and then.
Have you really looked at your behavior to see if maybe you were too controlling or dominant? I'm not trying to imply that you are, but I think it's very important that you look into yourself to try and help him in any way you can. When you talk to him, try not to insult him or make him feel inferior. Speak to him with respect and let him know that you're concerned about his happiness. If he does have an issue, he needs to your help, not your criticism. Don't make it about you.
You will most likely be able to help him better than some stranger would. You know him best, he trusts you, he will feel more comfortable talking to you.
I wish you luck and hope you can work out your problems!

Answer 3

Just give counseling time. The changes aren't going to happen over night. Marriage is a life time of hard work and sacrifice. Things will never be perfect. Just do your best to support him and keep loving him. Things will work out. We have to take the good qualities with the bad, sometimes. Tolerance is a big part of marriage. I've been married for 16 years, so I know a little bit. I think the two of you will be just fine.

Answer 4

Are we married to the same guy? Well, mine does not go to counseling nor would ever dream of going. I might, though. A good man - only I'm up to my ears with him. So I can't give you an answer. Just let you know that you're not alone. I personally wish I could just leave. But with small kids, I can't. After fourteen years together... When the kids are older, I'll probably leave.

Answer 5

alot of women would like to have a guy who values their opinion and takes the time to answer everything they say, are you sure this isn't just a grass is greener thing? Cuz if you just need someone to ignore you and discount your opinions i will give you my e-mail.

No seriously you said he is counselling so obviously he is taking this seriously and trying to be the guy you want him to be so you should be patient. What about you are you in counselling too? In my experience problems are never one sided and if he is the only one going it gives the impression that you think he is the only one at fault and puts all the pressure on him to fix things.

Answer 6

If you love your husband perhaps going to counseling with him might be beneficial. Marriage is a partnership, might be things you are doing to enable his neediness that you are not discerning. In the mean time focus on the things you love about your husband and when he does things for himself reward him for it.

Answer 7

i would go out early every day and leave him a list of things that need doing before i get back and wont be back to late and i will keep doing this till he started doing stuff and praise him so much when he does it no matter how good or bad he does the job and reward him with either gifts or little sexual promises he will soon change
he will soon be doing stuff without u even asking and he might even stop being so clingy all the time

Answer 8

I would stop enabling his behavior..I would let him think and do things for himself..if he choose not too...I would let him suffer the consequence of his own choices..unless the consequence was going to cause harm to him..harm to your family..then what is the worst that can happen??If you choose not to do these things for him..
You should go to counseling with him..that may be more helpful then him going alone..because you are enabling his behavior..by doing everything for him.

Answer 9

Answer a question with a question, each time he asks your opinion. "What do you think", should be your reply. Force him to build his confidence in himself by answering his own questions. If you disagree with his response, it's ok to tell him so, that is, if it is important enough to do so. Otherwise, bite your tongue before you offer unnecessary criticism.

Eventually, he will get the message. Either he will realize that he too can think for himself, or, that you don't want to do his thinking for him.

Answer 10

I think that you are very fortunate to have a man who needs and loves you so much. There are so many women who are suffering in marriages where the husband is cold and distant or critical. You are blessed.