Me and my bf are saving ourselves for mariage but i feel like im ready to have sex now. What should i do???

Question

It was my idea to save ourselves for mariage. But now its been 4 1/2 years & i feel like i am ready to have sex w/him. He says he has no problem with waiting (we r both virgins) but i feel like i want to find out if he will be good in bed BEFORE i make the huge commitment of being married to him. & also the stuff we DO do w/each other has gotten prety routine. He is satisfied but I am not. Has anyone else done this before? How did it work out for you?

Answer 1

Save yourself. Everyone has to make the decision. You have values and do not conform to what the world is encouraging.

It will be more worthwhile to grow together sexually together and it is honored.

Look at ther way people are dying of aids and having multiple partners and marriages these days. They clearly are not living the way you want to follow.

Answer 2

You mean your friends are doing it. You're horny. You feel some pressure. This "find out if he's good in bed before I commit to marriage" is bull poop. If he's a virgin, that means he's never been in bed with anybody. DUH! Learning how to please each other is part of the fun part of marriage. Lots of experimentation is fun. Your already playing around masturbation and whatever else and that's boring. Well wake up and smell the coffee. He comes home feeling whipped from working all day. You're so hot you glow in the dark. He does his best but the session is just ok. Are you going to give him a hard time about it?

Just remember a marriage is based on love. The kind from the heart and soul. The sex part is an extra. The love is what helps you be understanding and him come home the next night packing dynamite.

You two should talk a lot more about the realities of marriage and sex within the context of marriage. Maybe go see a marriage counselor who can add some reality that maybe your didn't think of.

Answer 3

What you're asking is a huge question that only you can answer. There are many things that you should consider, especially since it's not something you can go back on. Sex is more involved for females -it's physical, psychological, emotional, whereas male don't seem to take it as deeply -which is why girls raise the question of 'should i?' where as guys ask 'when can i?'.

Everyone always looks back on their firsts: their first win, their first failure, their first time behind the wheel, their first kiss...so it will be a big deal when you eventually do decide to. Just keep in mind that your first time may not be what you expected it to be because there are so many romanticized images of what sex should be but in reality it's far different. It's a big physical and emotional connection between you and your partner, but don't expect it to change your life or make you into a different person. And being good in bed is something that takes time. Don't expect your boyfriend to be Ron Jeremy in the bedroom. If he's a virgin as well he'll be learning along with you. If you're religious and don't believe in sex before marriage then don't do it. But remember, most guys aren't virgins at the alter so while you will have saved yourself for him, you might not be able to say the same about him. You've been with your boyfriend for a long time and he's seems to be extremely patient and considerate of your feelings but though you're the one wondering if he's the one who will be bad in bed , how would you feel if he turned around and asked the same thing about you?

Though it's cliche, sex carries the risk of getting pregnant by surprise and the possibility of STDs. So many people hate hearing that but every day the people who hated hearing it have found themselves with a child they didn't plan for or an STD they can't rid of because there's no cure for it. Remember those Herpes commercials where they're walking through the woods and talking about 'I have my condition under control with (insert name of prescription here),' well that may be fine for them but it's not so romantic to tell your future sex partner, "before we do this i should warn you that there's a good chance you'll get these really gross thingees on your privates"

Ultimately, do what you feel as long as you know you can't go back on your choices and you're prepared to accept the outcome of what you decide. Just make sure you take the right precautions and you've spoke with a doctor about contraceptives. If you can, talk to your parents. They are the ones who will be there for you when $hit goes down.

Answer 4

You had no doubts about him for this long. Looks like you all of a sudden doubt whether this will work out. Plus you want to do it because it is the natural thing to do when you are in love.

I will say do what your heart says.

The routine part comes only after having had sex several times over years. As long as there is variation and it is exciting, it is wonderful to do it with so much love...therefore, routine part does not come in.

My suggestion? Save it. But you know better. I do not know what it will be like.

I did not do it this way when I got married. So, I am not qualified to give you suggestion on what it will be like if you wait and save.

Answer 5

Preserve this invaluable treasure of yours. You could wait for such a long time.....why not wait for a little more, till you get married.It will give you a sense of great feeling and a matter of pride for both of you.
It seems you are not like other ordinary ones.You are a woman of substance.Maintain the sanctity which you have done so far have normal sex as soon as you are married, please.I want you to be an ideal couple in this age when all values of life is practically falling apart.You surely can do that.Just a little more patience .......that's all .
What a confidence and pleasure it will give you if only you remain as you are until you get married !!!

God Bless

Answer 6

U want to go ahead and "DO" it now to see if its going to be any good......

Im gonna tell you the plain and simple truth... If U R both Virgins.. It's not gonna be any good... Neither of U R experienced, U have no clue as what to do etc.. U may think U know by watching movies, talking about it.. BUT the truth is, Both of you are going to be Nervous as Hell and probably a little scared too... So it's not gonna be all that "Enjoyable" for either of you...
For one, The Female will feel a little pain and bleed possibly from the Hymen being ripped..
The Male.. Well.. I'm sure he has Masturbated and knows what an orgasm feels like.. But once the clothes are off and the excitement is there.. he's not even gonna be able to "Hit The Hole" If u know what I mean... So if U 2 are serious about getting married.. Dont save yourselves for one another... Do It Now! Learn one another.. What U like... What U dont like.. What feels good for eachother.. Thats the only way Ur gonna know is to do it....


Same as Buying a Car.. Ur gonna try it out before U buy it right....

Answer 7

How old are you? Is my first response to this question. Second, if he is willing to wait until you get married then that should tell you something. He is in the relationship for you and not what you can do for him sexually. You can go out right now and find some RANDOM guy to have "sex" with but it is something special when you have that one person you can "make love" to. If you are having problems now with being satisfied I think you should try to be a little more spontaneous. Again, how old are you? And if you do get married to him and sex is bad, YOU need to make it better! Make it work for you. REMEMBER....LOVE is much stronger than any sexual encounter you may ever have.

Answer 8

Wow. So long accomplishing the unified goal together and you want to throw it away. I find that kinda sad. BUT, I will say that to find out "if he will be good in bed" is silly. He's a virgin. He won't be good for a long while! Same as you! It'll take practice. Now, you can practice with him and make him good (for you), and then break up with him so he can practice on someone else, OR you can get married and keep practicing with each other for the rest of your lives. Love making is the act of figuring out what the other likes and doing it. It's the art of giving.

I hope you re-think your thinking a little. I'll get a lot of thumbs down for that.

Answer 9

Umm...I def. didn't wait. But anyways, I think no matter what, you should tell him how you feel and throw it out there and see how he reacts. If you're ready to have sex with him, you're ready to talk about having sex with him. I thinking waiting for marriage is a stupid idea because of the high divorce rate, but I understand other's beliefs. Also, sex is something able to be taught, so don't expect 3439083 orgasms the first time you hop into bed with him. If he sucks at first, he can learn. You didn't hop on a bike and not fall off the first time right? I think you need to be understanding and patient with his needs like he has been with you, but I'd def. bring it up.
-Melly

Answer 10

WAIT WAIT WAIT!!!!! if he is not good in bed initially, gently communicate as you have obviously done already. If you've waited this long then what's the big deal? Just wait. It is something you can NEVER get back ...

I was brought up to wait and really wanted to. But physical stuff got the better of me and I ended up having sex at a very young age. I regret it now. Every time I think of it I wish I had saved myself for only my husband. It is such a special relationship and really, one to have only with the man you will live with forever.