I work really hard and never have any pennies left for myself and he knows this, yet continues to run up huge electricity and phone bills. I have asked him for over a year to find alternative accomodation but he just wont go. I dont cook for him or give him money and he has moved his girlfriend in also. I know he needs to go but how can i force him????
2007-12-22 02:13:04 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I would seek professional help with a lawyer or police officer. I don't know the laws where you live but you may have to give him an order to quit, eviction or something similar. He is taking advantage of you which I assume you already know.. it's high time he learn there are reactions to his actions.
Perhaps you can install a breaker with a lock that you can switch off when you leave :) A padlock on the fridge and cabinets.. remove the cord from the TV and other electronics.. take the keyboard with you when you leave... anything that would take away his "comfort". Then when he does goes out.. change the locks and leave his and her things on the lawn in trash bags... just some suggestions. I know you wouldn't put up with this from strangers... why from your son who should love and respect all you have done for him....
Stay strong.
2007-12-22 02:24:12 · answer #1 · answered by thebe_gl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
See? This is a problem when there is no father figure in the house. This young man is taking advantage of you. If you really care about him and want to help him, you will do the hard thing. He must be held accountable for his actions and suffer the consequences. Step 1: Change all the locks and lock him out. Step 2: Bag up all of his (and her) stuff and put it on the porch where it won't be damaged. (By the way, I would be humiliated to be having sex in the same house as my mother with a woman who wasn't my wife. He is shameless and has no morals) Step 3: Consult the police before all this happens and let them know what is going on. Step 4: Call the police if he tries to break in or becomes abusive in any way. Step 5: Put a list of homeless shelters and agencies on his stuff that he can go to for help. Also, attach the number and address for military recruiting as this "boy" needs discipline and needs to grow up. Step 6: If you are paying for the phone, call the company and turn it off immediately. Step 7: Call a local church to have them pray for you for strength and wisdon and this will be hard for you to do. But you MUST do it in order for him to grow up and be a man! Don't give in! Stay strong!
2007-12-22 02:37:08 · answer #2 · answered by mark1osufan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This seems to be an ongoing problem with youths nowadays. The kid was cute little, but now they are 22 and a pain. Some adults, groom their child to be self-sufficient from an early age, preparing them to leave and get out of the house at the age of 18. Most adults, that I have met and read about, such as yourself, have been extremely tolerant or even lenient with the kid to the point of them losing out on the knowledge that would make them independent, self-sustaining. In a way, you are giving him money. You are paying his rent, and now also his electric bill, not only that, but now his girlfriends rent and whatever she adds to the electric AND PHONE. Now, when I had nowhere else to go and I knew my parents were there for me, of course I took advantage and moved back in with them, but before I moved in, my mother would give me a deadline for when I had to move out again. Then, she would constantly push and nag at me to get me to be self sustaining to the point where I was just so annoyed I DIDN'T have a choice, I was happy that I had a place to stay, but I lived under her rules, and her nagging constantly. It made me want to leave, the sooner the better. It worked, and before the deadline even came I had a new, higher paying job, and my own place, of course, my parents helped foot the bill for first months rent, but, with my own transportation, I became self sufficient in no time. It's one thing to be independent, it's another to teach that trait to someone else. But for God's sake, it's at least important to teach your KIDS if you ever want them out of the house so they aren't making you BROKE all the time. Good luck, hope this helps.
2007-12-22 02:26:05 · answer #3 · answered by Kamuela B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
O.K. I understand- I'm 30 and I went through the same trifling -idle stage in my 20's too.
look - u can play hard ball too without harm in ways like taking your door keys back (If he has any) and make a strict rule that when u leave out for work he must leave and go somewhere too. The point is, since he won't leave then make it uncomfortable, he will try to adjust, and then u squeeze tighter.
sincerely, good luck.
2007-12-22 02:36:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have lost control over your own household, bad enough he is living with contributing but to bring a girlfriend as well. I as a mother of 4 sons (single mom) would never deal with such nonsense. If he is unwilling to move, go and file and eviction and have him removed. He is a grown man choosing to be lazy and pathetic. God bless****
2007-12-22 03:00:35 · answer #5 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he was my son , i would tell him he has 2 weeks to get out and then i would call the law and have him put out,, who is the parent here, thats what i dont understand with this world these days, parents have lost there aurthorty, well let me say this, it is not going to happen in my home
2007-12-22 05:28:44 · answer #6 · answered by bigdaddy9965 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
who's the parent here?
its obviously not you... either get a cop to remove him, or you are stuck...
get a backbone!
2007-12-22 02:20:53 · answer #7 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋