This morning, I received a Christmas card from a guy that used to be my friend a very long time ago, but not anymore. The thing is, I always knew he wanted more than friendship, but he accepted that we could only be friends. However, I had to end our friendship when he became very obsessed and clingy towards me. He also used to send me text-messages telling me that he had no reason to live, except to look after me and he needed me to live, etc. I got freaked out by it and had to end our friendship. I thought I was free of him now and I've been happy since, but this morning, I received a Christmas card from him and it's made me feel really uncomfortable that he's still thinking about me.
What should I do? Bin the card and ignore it or post it back? I really just want him to FORGET about me and leave me alone. I wish I'd never met the guy. I wish he'd just leave me alone. My best friend and cousin are supporting me but even they can't do anything.
2007-12-22 01:52:05 · 16 answers · asked by highland_white_wolf 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Hon, you answered your own question, throw the card away and call an authority figure and tell them what is going on with him. Do not personally contact him because that is what the card is all about, getting you to respond in any way possible, don't do it. It will just start all over again! Good luck Hon and Merry Ho! Ho! HO!
2007-12-22 01:58:30 · answer #1 · answered by Sgt Little Keefe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's a couple of ways of handling this. You can take the card and any other evidence of this harassment to the police and they will usually pay a visit to the guy. In many cases that will stop things in their tracks and there is also a legal record of this happening.
Another way would be to visit a paralegal office and ask that they draft a legal letter warning the guy that any future contact will result in you contacting the police.
I would not ignore it as this guy seems to be having a hard time at getting the message and may decide that this opens the door for future contact. Trust your instincts as this could get worse.
2007-12-22 01:59:37 · answer #2 · answered by vjvl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, if I received a card from someone I no longer wanted to be friends with, I would throw the card away and not bother to respond. Put him out of your mind and go on with your life.
I have a pretty good idea as to how it makes you feel, but if you do not want any contact with this person, then making any kind of direct response will only encourage him. Toss the card, and move on.
Good luck & Merry Christmas
2007-12-22 01:57:28 · answer #3 · answered by Paul L 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"You were right to end this relationship. Send the card back put "New commitments" on back of envelope and return.
You were probably his first love and it is Christmas and Christmas makes us think of the ones we love, He will get over it in time, But had you stayed with him, your life would have been hell .Been there and done that. Good Luck Merry Christmas
2007-12-22 02:01:08 · answer #4 · answered by Bee Bee 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relax, it's only a Christmas card. Ignore it. If you "post it back," he might take it as encouragement. Write down his address off the envelope in case you ever have to call the police on him though. He sounds unstable and very sad.
2007-12-22 01:55:14 · answer #5 · answered by rocksister 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's probably just letting you know that he'll be around if you'd like to try the friendship again. I'd say it's within reasonable boundaries. Don't respond. You might like to keep it just in case there's a problem later - to prove there was contact.
2007-12-22 01:58:59 · answer #6 · answered by Terri J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
would it be too dramatic to tear this card and envelope into bits and mail the lot back to him in an envelope with no return address?
I think I would do that to show symbolically that there is nothing between the two of you now.
Good luck.
2007-12-22 02:02:09 · answer #7 · answered by Lisa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its just a card throw it,ignore it and if that doesn't stop hm talk to him frankly what you want to say and tell him you don't want anything from him,tell him to leave you alone.All the best.
2007-12-22 01:59:59 · answer #8 · answered by Nazneen M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give the card to the animals in SPCA
2007-12-22 02:11:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A restraining order might be in order. Or maybe you should get one of your guy friends to have a little chat with him, rough him up a little bit.
2007-12-22 01:56:01 · answer #10 · answered by mac_byaah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋