The reason for this question is that I'm starting to have more than just friendship feelings for a friend of mine - he's very much into comedy and has directed a few revues as a law student. I'm trying to work out if because he does this that I am hesitating.
I can see the advantages to it - funny man humor, wit, sarcasm - as someone who enjoys laughing and comedy, I could live and learn to love that life. That's one of the things I love about him.
However, if he wasn't that kind of person in real life, it would be an unrealistic expectation and a big disappointment of a relationship, for him and me.
Your thoughts? Experiences? Wise words?
2007-12-20 22:44:27 · 12 answers · asked by Lighthouse 5 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
Gnu - thank you for your kind words!
2007-12-20 22:51:23 · update #1
RobLee - I'm not that kind of woman.
2007-12-20 22:54:22 · update #2
Gnu - thank you. You said it all and much more.
2007-12-20 23:01:25 · update #3
Lioness - many thanks for your perspective. Its coming from someone who has experience and good logic - not over analytical at all. Its sensible.
2007-12-20 23:57:58 · update #4
Lighthouse,
Yes, I could live with and love a comedian. Even if he was "on" twenty-four hours a day or not in the least funny in real life. As long as you can share that part of him, that you say you love, when he is involved in it, you are enjoying him and who he is. He has to be welcome in your world, as well.
Togetherness may be a death knell for a few relationships, but from my experience, two people need only a little time apart and much more time with each other. Being interested in and supportive of the other's career and past times is what makes a good marriage.
My ex-husband didn't talk about what he did and didn't care to hear about what I did. We watched TV in two separate rooms and he wanted it that way. Some people are not good marriage material. Laugh together. Love. My congratulations.
Life is funny. Hug your comedian today.
C. :)!!
2007-12-21 01:26:03 · answer #1 · answered by Charlie Kicksass 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Firstly, how nice that you have found someone you have feelings for and see as potential, and when you really like someone none of the logical rules / standards really apply. We can all end up happily married to the opposite of our ideal type.
The way I see it is, you have to be compatible on a personality level, as well as a professional level. For instance, I'm more of a serious / concrete / logical person with little appreciation for comedy / art /sensitivity, so I haven't found myself compatible with artists at all. You seem open to his differences and not as uptight as me, so maybe you can find that side of him new and exciting?
In addition, people's careers reflect who they are / their way of thinking, even when they are not working. I know professional women have a need to have a supportive partner who is not intimidated by their career and can challenge them. Is he going to be a lawyer or comedian? If he "gets" your career, understands and finds interest in what you do, then it's great. The problem comes when you can't come home and discuss work because you live in different worlds. My ex husband was an architect (artistic), wanting to show me plans and drawings, and I was interested in discussing politics, legal cases etc, so we had the incompatiblity issue. We lived in different worlds, and it didn't work out too well. We even communicated and saw things differently in our relationship and future because of our concrete vs abstract thinking.
I'm overly analytical when it comes to compatibility, which usually kills the spontaneity and fun, and I'm single, so listening to me may not be the wisest thing LOL
2007-12-21 07:53:33 · answer #2 · answered by Lioness 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
There's a lot of truth to the expression "Dying is easy, comedy is hard." I've heard that very funny people (professional or not) are some of the hardest people to live with. Most comedy comes from pain.
2007-12-21 07:28:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I've known some women to say that their partner was a riot in the beginning, but that the wisecracking grew thin after a time. It probably depends on the subtlety and depth of the humour. Also knowing when to lay the humour aside. Some folks have a humour that's really part of them and they make great partners.
I wish you success.
2007-12-21 07:25:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm interested in professional comedy myself, and I don't think I'd like living with a potential rival. But the best kind of man is a funny man. Spend more time with him in a less-comedic setting and see what kind of guy he really is before you jump into anything.
2007-12-21 10:54:04 · answer #5 · answered by Rio Madeira 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How sweet! But you know - what everyone has said here is right (exception: RobLee) - you have to consider the person as well as his humor, and the long term impacts. Get to know him better if you don't already and decide if you love him as a person, not just a funny man.
2007-12-21 07:44:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Good comedy requires high levels of intelligence and an insight into life that exceeds that of most people. For that reason, I think I would be VERY attracted to them as well. But be careful about your expectations - they belong to you, and should not be foisted upon others...
2007-12-21 08:57:11 · answer #7 · answered by Super Ruper 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I honestly don't know, but I do want to offer you congratulations and to wish you good luck. If it works out, may I say: he'll be a very lucky man.
ETA: RobLee, not only is she not "that kind of woman", she's in fact one of the SERIOUSLY very COOL women. She's smart and thinks for herself, she's attractive without being preoccupied with appearances, she's thoughtful and curious...
Troll all you want, but don't give Lighthouse crap.
2007-12-21 06:47:17 · answer #8 · answered by Gnu Diddy! 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Lighty: I don't know, All i know for sure you're not an "EASY" type of woman. you're cool serious woman.
Lighty: there are alwas dissapointment, regrets at any relationshipos, together with happiness, laugh. Its life. Lokk, you can talk to the guy and ask/tell where is yours relationship are and where you want it to be.
2007-12-21 16:20:55 · answer #9 · answered by steven25t 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's well known that our professions or vocations do have some influence on our personality traits but the basic human nature remains intact.There fore,it's vital that you know about his basic and real nature, and do it objectively.If compatible,you may decide to go ahead.
2007-12-21 07:06:40 · answer #10 · answered by brkshandilya 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋