we had a miserable 8 years togheter. It was mostly his fault. He didnt want to have sex after the first 6 months. he always told me i wouldnt be able to survive w/ out him and that im such a losr. He also hoarded all his money and hid it from me. he woudlnt talk to me or go on a date w/ me. we lived in separate parts of the house, it was the loniliest time of my whole life. and it finally ended when he came home and gave me 2 days to move out because he met someone at a bar. He tried to screw me in the divorce settlement. Now the bar slut girl lives there at our old house w/ him. I now have baby by a different guy and am a single mom. the divorce was 1 1/2 years ago . i didnt care at first, i felt relieved (completely!) but lately when i think of what he put me through & all the sacrifices and time wasted, i get REALLY ANGRY !!! i guess im just asking for supportve words . thanks
2007-12-20 21:06:45 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Of course your angry u feel that u wasted 8 years of your life on someone that didnt deserve them. He treated you horribly, and he scarred you in some ways and im sure those scars affect your relationships. I was with an abusive man for 5 years and i finally left, and we have a daughter together. And although i know it was the best thing in the world for me to do to leave him , it still affects my life 4 years later. And the harsh words seem to linger more so then the physical abuse. He tore you down, he belittled you, he made u feel unworthy of any man. But you have to remember, he is a very sick individual that has insecurity issues of his own, he feels better about himself by making others feel bad about themselves. It wasnt you, its him. Deep down inside you know that, even if your own mind may play games on you at times and make you feel that maybe he was right at times, its not true, its still him inside of your head. He is not, nor was he ever worthy of having u in his life. HE KNEW THAT, thats why he tore you down, thats why he was possesive, thats why he was controlling, and when he had u exactly where he wanted u, he got bored and moved on to the next victim. Your angry because you dont feel any self gradification for all the pain and hurt he put u through, and more then likely you wont, but he will pay for what he's done, in one way or another , karma is a b*tch, and i guarantee that the girl he's with now, she's going through the same hell that you went through with him, if not, she will eventually cause he has issues. And eventually she'll either leave, or he'll do the same to her. Its just a matter of time. Put him behind u.. concentrate on your baby, be glad that this child doesnt have to put up with someone like him in their life. Find the strength from your child to not let you past eat u up inside. Focus on them, focus on being happy, find your self worth through ur childs eyes, and dont let him win. dont let him still control your life, your happiness, rise above it, make him reap what he sowed, be happy and make it in spite of him.
Love your child and "YOURSELF" enough to find away to let go of the reign he had on you, cause he's gone now and he cant ever hurt u again.
2007-12-20 21:25:14 · answer #1 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is your ex, so focus on that and move forward. Be glad that you are out of that relationship! Move on & be happy with your new life or make it happy. Please don't end up like me. I waited 9 years the 1st time & am now in an unhappy marriage to someone I've known my whole life, but we are more like brother & sister meets b/f & g/f. We have separate bedrooms & he won't cheat, but we're both miserable. He doesn't communicate well & that's all we need is to talk things out, but now you have done what I have not been strong enough to do as I've had health problems that have held me back & now that I'm feeling a bit better, I have a hard time getting this done, but now he communicates...now when I have one foot in the grave. I waited too long for the other shoe to drop & it did, but ya know what......through the tears 7 they are many, I can still see a light at the end of the tunnel, albeit dim, it's there. I live on hope...a wing & a prayer.
PLEASE move on & be happy!!! That anger is not healthy for you or your baby.
GOOD LUCK!!!
2007-12-20 21:22:50 · answer #2 · answered by Cheripie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's funny to think that you only got really angry years after the divorce. Maybe there's something else in your life you are stressing about (raising up a kid alone) and you suddenly directed your anger at the divorce and your ****** of a husband (which he really is!) If there are some legal things that you can point against your husband, now is the time to sue him or whatever. If not, I think you should move on with your life instead of wasting another time of being angry with your ex-hubby. Nevertheless, I wish you goodluck with your life and I know you could get thru this. Remember: you have a child to bring up.
2007-12-20 21:19:18 · answer #3 · answered by Kerol 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear your having to go through this emotional drama. I think you will be fine in time. It is a very hard time for most people to get over, but most eventually do. Things you might want to do include getting rid of the stuff that reminds you of him so you won't cloud you're judgment with anger. The hobby or job idea sounds good. Just keep busy while the time passes until you are over him. And, unless you really (I mean really) hate him, don't get a voo doo doll and stab it in the eyes 'cause those things really work, and besides, if you blind him, he won't have to pay child support or alimony. Take care.
2016-04-10 10:56:56 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Anger is a useful thing if you want it to be and control it, Lara. How you use it counts. Do not allow it to negatively affect how your baby perceives you though.
When you get really angry.. then clean the entire house. Or go jogging .. or do the yard work, etc. Whatever you choose to do make it something constrctive so the energy is wisely spent. When the anger is spent ..you will have accomplished wonderful things and will feel much better.
2007-12-20 23:48:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Angry is good - but dont get stuck there. Woudn't it feel better to not give two sh*ts about him at all, rather than be seething inside and thinking about him and how pissed you are. That means is still taking up more of your time. Forgive his stupid *ss and move on.
2007-12-20 22:13:50 · answer #6 · answered by BoogyBoo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It takes time to get over cramp like that, but its better (for yu), if you do.
2007-12-20 22:34:43 · answer #7 · answered by happywjc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to get angry - eventually you will accept it all and one day you will find you no longer care.
2007-12-20 21:19:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
angry is good. you have every right.
now lets work on happy
2007-12-20 21:12:50 · answer #9 · answered by rufstuff 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
oh the pain,, plzzzz, why is it alway the guy?????
2007-12-20 21:19:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋