My fiancee is a right royal pain in the ****, a stubborn opinioned ***** of a woman who duped me into getting engaged with her, then despite crap sexlife, she got pregnant.
She is lazy and never cleans the house, expecting me to do an 11 hour day then come in and live in squalor. I end up spending hours and hours cleaning every week, tidying up after her pets (dogs, cats, rabbits the works), she leaves stuff lying about everywhere,
I knew she was like this but was hopeful of her upping her game when i moved in with her, but no....
Feel like a frigging servant, and when i complain she tells me that she never asked me to do anything. Thing is I have to do tidying - cat footprints on the dinner table, mud and animal hair on the sofa, half-eaten dogs dinners all over the floors - its intolerable otherwise....
The thought of bringing a baby into such a mess leaves me cold, have tried so hard, at end of my tether, what should I do? She doesn't listen....
2007-12-20 20:13:56 · 25 answers · asked by Derek J Kered 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
shout PWNED!! at her face
2007-12-20 20:18:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 5⤋
You can't dupe anyone into getting engaged. Stop being so weak minded and tell her if she doesn't get her act together then your out.
You knew she was like this so what made you think she would change? People don't change just because YOU want them to. The first three months of pregnancy are really exhausting i know, i've been there. However i did a full time job and still kept my house tidy.
In my opinion she shouldn't expect you to come home to a mess. She does ask you to do something, go out to work for 11 hours everyday to keep a roof over your heads. She'd soon change her mind if you quit your job and sat around the house all day doing nothing.
I can see why your angry, but i think your problems run a bit deeper than her not tidying up, maybe you should sort those issues out first. If i were you i would write her a letter telling her exactly how you feel, with things you want to change. Give it to her before you go to work and when you come home, if nothings changed then you'll have your answer. Good luck!
2007-12-21 04:29:18 · answer #2 · answered by Lee Lee 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh geez! You have gotten yourself into quite a situation, haven't you? You knew all of this in the beginning but you didn't see it as much as you do now. Other than getting the hell out, there is nothing else you can do. I'm like you, I would not do it all.,she needs to get off her lazy ***...Are you in love with this person? If you do, all of her laziness and filth probably has ruined some of the love. I don't like lazy people either. . .If you know you are not going to leave, put the pets out of the house. . .If she don't like it ....to damn bad. When you leave for work in the mornings, tell her there are things that are expected from her. Again, if she don't like it, she will get over it. Tell you how you have been feeling and you aren't going to live this way anymore. Tell her you will be moving out if she don't get her act together and get it together soon. . . Sir, your first mistake was ever cleaning up behind her, the first time and then she saw you were going to do it, and her being lazy, she let ya. You are the only one that can make some changes in your life. It is all up to you. If you don't stop it now, this will be happening to you the rest of your life. Good luck. If you move you, you will have to support the unborn child. I sure hope things work out for you.
2007-12-21 06:31:17 · answer #3 · answered by lucylocket7258 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to live there, you know. You can move out. You hoped your love would change her - so many women make this mistake with men too, so you're not alone - but she is a slob.
You can move out and leave her there. She hasn't yet asked you for anything, she says, but when she is getting further along in her pregnancy she will need help. Put yourself in a position of power. Move out so you do not have to live in such squalor - I can't say I blame you in the slightest, it sounds like a disgusting way to live - but remain nearby so that you can help her if she needs it, but she has to ask for it. Then you are in a position to negotiate. If she has to ask, then you can set conditions. Be very firm and don't give in to whining, shouting, nastiness, being called names, or any types of threats. If necessary, bring a uniformed individual or social worker with you to witness this squalor. It's time to get shirty with this cow.
Good luck with it. If she stays living as she does, then the law will probably give you custody of the baby.
2007-12-21 04:38:10 · answer #4 · answered by Orla C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It was good of you to try so hard but you don't want to live like this forever. After marriage it will just get worse. I am assuming she doesn't work so really she should be doing all of the housework while you just come home and relax. When I wasn't working that was what my husband and I did - I would even get him drinks so he didn't have to get up! You work far too much and you will eventually damage your health. Animals are messy but if she can't look after pets how does she expect to look after a baby? I think you should get out of this relationship. I know you may want to stay for the baby's sake but if you and your fiancee are not happy together then this would be a bad environment for the baby to grow up in. You deserve better. I also think you should try and get custody of the baby if she really is that bad. Baby's need to have their stuff steralised let alone live in those conditions.
2007-12-21 04:28:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well you can leave if you wish, no one forced you into unprotected sex so whilst you might no longer have feelings for your fiance you have a responsibility to your child. You don't like the environment in which she lives so how do you feel re the child living there. I suggest you make the move but be alert for the welfare of your child. Leaving your child to such a life makes you worse a person than your fiance who may have emotional reasons as to why things are as they are. Make a phone call or two on her behalf to get her some help
2007-12-21 04:23:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to leave, set yourself up in a new home. When the baby is born please stand up to being a father and apply for custody.
There are some steps you can take before the baby is born to help you though. Firstly speak to your GP who will be able to give you the number for your local Health Visiting team and you can speak to one of them who will visit her. That is not a safe place for a pregnant woman let alone a baby.
The only other option is to stay with her, do all the house work and probably all the baby care when the baby comes
2007-12-21 04:36:27 · answer #7 · answered by Mummyme 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly i blame you for staying in a relationship that long if she's like that . Last i remember it takes two people to make a baby . So to say you got duped is an excuse . You duped yourself . Get out the relationship . Try to get custody of the baby if she is unfit to raise the child . I agree that she doesn't listen . Maybe you ought to start listening to yourself on why you should get out .
2007-12-21 04:54:16 · answer #8 · answered by coach.ricky 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm not sure how one gets duped into asking someone into marrying you but that isn't the important issue. I hope you seriously consider getting full custody of the child when it is born, if she cant take care of animals or her self then she will defiantly not be able to take care of a child. I hope you do whats right for your child, you don't have to be with her just make sure she doesn't get custody of the baby. Good luck.
2007-12-21 04:27:55 · answer #9 · answered by Jenniferann88 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're right about not wanting a child to come in to such a mess. How far along is she?
Contact your local child protective service. If you are willing to care for the child after it's born, then you may be given custody right away. If you aren't, then they need to step in and take the child when it's born. That is considered child endangerment.
Good Luck
2007-12-21 04:23:18 · answer #10 · answered by Mrs. WC 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oops... I want to pity you but at the same time not... If you already 'suffering' under her whims & intend to get out, how could you have unprotected sex with her? Just ridiculous....
In my opinion, the right thing to do now is admit your mistake, discuss with her if she wants to change for better. If no solution, I would suggest either child custody or giving up the baby. Poor unborn baby..... didn't even do anything wrong but has to bear all your mistakes & immaturity...
Please don't ever repeat this mistake in your life anymore. All the best....
2007-12-21 04:56:41 · answer #11 · answered by Lady Ling 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋