what to do if your husband wants to name the baby after him and...?

Question

and you want a different name at least add a middle name that i like but he can't see that..he doesn't want to talk about it...he thinks that the first boy should be named after him and his dad so that would make him the third...what do you think...

Answer 1

Well, I think you should have the ultimate say in it. If your planning on having more children after this. Let him take this child and name him after him. Then the next child you name it what you would like to name it. Even though I do think since you are indeed the mother that you should have a say in whether you want the child to be named after its father.

Answer 2

My opinion is that I am big supporter of family traditions, coming from a family that has had Thirds and should have had a fourth. If you don't mind the first name, then the middle name shouldn't be a big deal. You can think of a nickname with initials or something else. We never had a problem (Three boys named the same and three girls named the same as well). In fact the people across the street on are there 5th Charles and nobody has ever had a problem with so many of them being around at once.

Mostly I think the reason your husband doesn't like the changing of the middle name is because why change something that people really won't use anyway, if you are okay naming him the same FIRST name, then why not completely carry on tradition and just make him a third?

Answer 3

You can always compromise but when I had my kids I refused to name my kids after anyone first name or middle name I wanted them to be their own person also I didnt want there to be any hurt feelings if we used someones name and not someone elses. I know compromising on a babies name can be difficult believe me I was begining to wonder if any of my kids were gonna have names till the very end LOL It all works out in the end though. One thing is the baby is not just your husbands its yours too so you both should be in agreement on what to name the baby. Unless well I have seen where this happen that the wife will let the husband name the first baby and the wife will name the next one or they say if its a boy the husband gets to name him or if its a girl the wife gets to name her however I see you say its a boy and your husband seems to have taken over the naming process. One thing you can do is tell him that you would rather not name the baby after anyone because you dont want to hurt anyones feelings. Of course that may not work being the person he wants to name the baby after is himself. Some how you will just have to sit your husband down and make him listen to you and make him understand that the baby is not just his and you understand that he wants to name the baby after himself but we need to compromise and maybe like you said he can give the baby the first name and you give the baby the middle name he has to understand its your baby too he didnt make the baby by himself and he certainly didnt carry him for 9 months so you should get a say in the naming decision as well as him.

Answer 4

He should have discussed this with you before you got married. Why wouldn't you want your baby named after your husband? Maybe you can make a deal: He names the first and you name the second child. Or he names the boys and you name the girls. I hope you find something you both can agree on.

Answer 5

Well, first, you need to learn how to negotiate from strength, not weakness.

The name they put on the birth certificate is what YOU say to put there, not what he wants. You also get to decide who to name as the father - basically it's all up to you.

If you can't possibly stomach a boy being named after your husband at all, then you don't have to do it, and just hope it's not worth divorcing you over.

However, since you DO wield all the power, and if you CAN stomach the name, you should get some concession ahead of time (maybe some priority items in your budget that he doesn't think are all that big a deal?).

You are in charge of the name, you just have to decide what you want to do about it.

Answer 6

I personally hate Jrs, IIIs and so forth. I was lucky that my grandfather was a Junior and taught my dad that you NEVER name a child after someone. He hated being a junior. My dad passed on to us not to name our kids after anyone but themselves. He wouldn't even let my mom use his middle name for my little brother's middle name.

This is both your husband's and yours' child. I'd tell your husband that you don't care about tradition... that you care about your marriage and equality. It is only fair for a couple to be in some state of agreeance on the baby's name. I would tell him that you don't want a son that you'll constantly think, "wow I hate his name."

If he still stubornly refuses and you decide to go along with him, you can always call your son Trey (like tre in spanish for three.) My friend goes by Trey but his full name is Wade Michael Hampton III. I always thought this was clever.

Answer 7

I think you should name the baby after him or at least a middle name then if you have another baby you can choose a name for him/her that's way its a compromise and everybody wins.

Answer 8

Tell him you'll give him the choice of choosing EITHER the first or the middle name and then you get to pick the other. It's not fair that either of you get to make the entire choice without input from the other. However, having said that, whoever has to expel said child from their body should get 75% of the vote!!

Answer 9

try explaining that ur son needs to have his own identity, its good if he listens and let u name him or add a middle name of ur choice but if not the best thing u can do is to compromise...

Answer 10

My firstborn son is named after his father and my father.
Maybe you could suggest using your father's name as the middle name.