I am a 28 year old, single, straight, successful, educated, male from NY. I have never had a girlfriend and I have only gone on a total of two dates in my entire lifetime. I have not even experienced my first kiss yet! LOL! I know that may seem a little funny! I am very involved in my career, community and in furthering my education. I am so busy on a daily basis, that on the days that I don't have work or school, I am just so tired that I sleep most of the day. I simply don't have the time to really think about girls I could ask out, much less actually go out and start a relationship. Here is the question: Why is it that when female coworkers, acquaintances, etc., find out about a guy being single they want to set him up? They ask him why he does not date and act appalled when they discover he never had a girlfriend. I'll start dating if I ever truly develop the interest. I am simply focusing on the more important aspects of my life at this time.
2007-12-20 16:20:27 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Senior Citizens
Second Question: I don't intend to ever get married or have children, but I will keep my options open. How can I do this?
More Background: Another thing I get criticized negatively for is the fact that I live at home with my parents and other adult siblings. I don't pay rent, car payments, insurance or anything like that. I am encouraged to save money and whatever I have left over to spend on entertainment etc. Our parents love the fact that most of their kids live at home in their adult years. They don't need the money, and it allows them to still keep the house they love and not be forced to downsize due to everyone leaving. I get my meals cooked and my laundry done (don't even need a wife at this point!) so who in their right mind would leave? Plus it gives me time to become more established in my career and seek higher education.
2007-12-20 16:20:41 · update #1
Dude, you are 28 and you live with your parents and from what you just wrote you're still being treated like a child. People gasp because it is time to grow up, if you are so into your career you're telling me you can't get your own apartment and become independent. It just seems immature and a turn off to people thats all. I am 19 and in college and have my own place.... the girlfriend thing isnt a big deal to me but some people flip out over crap like that, you can just date and have fun but of course tell the girl once you know her well enough you don't plan to ever get married no need to waster her time.
2007-12-20 16:25:43 · answer #1 · answered by incubabe 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like the whole family is trying to pretend that time isn't passing. :'we'll be mommy and daddy and you guys be the babies" nothing is changing....until it does.
And you don't know if you are straight or not...but you may have an idea about it ....and that may not sit too well with the other members of your little group. My husband's uncle never had a gf and always lived with his parents too. He did however have a couple of dates but women knew right off that it wouldn't work out for them. Same story as here huh? But your question was why the set ups.People are assuming you are straight and need some help meeting women and as an adult they would like you to fit in with the group, join the next level of the hetro world.As for the uncle he lived at a time he could never have 'come out' in a fairly small town.We all knew and could never mention it and felt so sorry for him.He missed so much of a life of his own.
2007-12-24 15:17:58 · answer #2 · answered by for the times 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As stated before, keep you personal life personal at work soo that tey don't bother you.
As for living with your parents it sounds great in many ways. But Dude you are 28, when are you going to start doing your own laundry and do you ever cook a meal for family, do you and your sibs and parents rotate these jobs? I think it is great that you all are together but I think you should be paying rent or putting that rent in to an IRA for your parents as a day will come when they may need special expensive health care and you could help with that and with giving them some pleasant things now like a trip for two some where? You sound spoiled and selfish to me, but that is just my interpretation of the info you shared. You are going to have a rude awakening when Mom & Dad are no longer around.
2007-12-20 17:23:04 · answer #3 · answered by Meeshmai 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You say that when you are not working, you are tired and sleep most of the day. Yes, your parents may still enjoy having you at home, but they are aging also, and working full time doing their children's laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc has to be taking its toll on them whether they admit it or not.It is great you are trying to further your education and be involved with your career and community.But, to me, your main interests should be on the concern of your parents and their future well being.You didn't say how many adult siblings are still living at home.But, as far as the single thing, It is your life, and you should live it with no regrets if possible.
2007-12-20 20:00:09 · answer #4 · answered by Harley Lady 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only advice I can give you is to just ignore the people who want to "set you up" & politely refuse to allow them to force you into anything you aren't comfortable with.
You are fortunate & so are your parents & other family members. You really should concentrate on what YOU want & leave meddling females & others OUT of your life. You're only young once & having an "unencumbered" lifestyle is the key to a successful carreer & furthering your education. You will have a relationship if & when the time is right & perhaps you won't ever have one. It's your choice. People in TRADITIONAL lifestyles & roles have a difficult time accepting single people because they seem to view a person without a partner as a threat to their own unstable relationships they have become stuck with. Misery loves company & these people want you to share their pain. You have your own family to be with, so you don't need to bend for anyone else. Immature people play matchmaker when it isn't warranted. It's sometimes easier just to tell them you are gay!
2007-12-20 16:42:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't mean to be rued but you sound like a moma's boy to me. I can't imagine being not on my own I have been on my own since I was 17 until you get out on your own you won't fully realize the pleasure of doing some well and by yourself. As far as the women go that is the way women are. I'm 62 and single and they still are trying to set me up. If I was you I would make some time now while you are still young for some womenizing. It comes easyer the younger you are.
John
2007-12-21 02:12:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi, It's a refreshing change to hear a young man that has his life in order and doing whats best for you, but I agree with Peapie to a certain extent in the fact that I hope you start to really think about your parents welfare and start to learn to do your own laundry etc, your parents wont be alive forever and you will be lost in how to care for yourself, I think your Mum needs to realise she is not doing you or your siblings any favour by doing everything for you, it kind of sounds like she doesn't worry what will happen to you all when she has gone, none of you will have a clue how to do the nessessary basics of cleaning and cooking etc, your lives will be turned upside down, I know we would all like to have these thing done for us, but, I really think you should be getting some skills in that department, because trying to fight off the girls will be the least of your problems if you dont sort this one out....I hope you don't think you will be able to replace your Mum with a girl to do it for you, you will get a shock when you realise not many young girls of today will be willing to do everything for you, that will be a big turn off to them that you can't even boil an egg so to speak
2007-12-20 20:46:20 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ HOPE ♥ 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Matt.... I know the perfect woman for you! Kidding! I think that you have it all. Do what you feel is right for you, but don't be afraid to go out and get to know some new people. There is nothing wrong with living with your family at your age, or not having a girlfriend. It's good to focus on your career, but don't forget to enjoy a bit of life too.
2007-12-20 17:22:03 · answer #8 · answered by noonecanne 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think that 28 is a little too old to still be living at home. I would be especially leery of that fact as my second husband was when we met and it was a disaster. You don't do that like mom did was something I grew very tired of hearing. And he spent all his free time over there too. Got old very quickly.
2007-12-24 06:42:00 · answer #9 · answered by Aloha_Ann 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Women CANNOT stand to see or be around a sincerely happy man, content to be without female direction/guidance/supervision and/or company. It just frosts their panties to know there is an uncontaminated male above the age of 7 in their general proximity (within 300 miles).
That being said, most men voluntarily choose to be with a woman that will complete his being, instead of being satisfied with the parental nest.
2007-12-21 10:36:11 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋