I am 19 and spend most of my time in my room alone. When I call so called friends they either "have something to do" or just dont want to do anything. I have never had luck with girls they dont want anything to do with me for some reason. Never kissed or touched a girl. I am nice and respectful. I am in good shape. I am pretty smart except in math. I am good looking I would say, keep up my appearance. I just don't get why no one wants to hang out with me????????
Might it be that people are afraid of me. I am a beast in the boxing ring and cant be stopped, but outside the ring I am really nice????
2007-12-20 15:51:45 · 14 answers · asked by I like to drink 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
but even before I boxed I really didnt have many friends and they didn't want to hang out much. I have pretty much been on my own my whole life
2007-12-20 15:57:51 · update #1
Anyone can be stopped. Maybe there's no room between you and the mirror.
2007-12-20 15:56:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋
Well, for one you need to get out of your room and start being with other people. Make plans ahead of time to do things. What do you like other then boxing? Maybe find other interests other then the boxing ring and, working out. Ask girls out don't hide in your room. Make a point to go out an meet them. You might come across as a hard man and this might scare them.
2007-12-20 23:57:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your young. You should be planning your furture for a wife and kids. Here is a smart plan to go on. 1 Dont do drugs and drink with buddies who lead you to do stupid things. 2 Go to church and find a good ladie who loves Jesus. 3 Be careful of aids and things that can destroy you from a one night date. 4 Be good to your parents its tells us this in the bible to have favor in the eyes of our Savior Jesus. 5 Fell free to be yourself so when people get to know you you will be a great guy and make a lot of friends. Take care and remember you are what you believe you are. So be a good spirit to others for you will win favor.
2007-12-21 00:29:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 19 you haven't even begun to realize the nasty that's waiting out there. Quit focusing on yourself and start working on a positive attitude and a good personality. Your going to need them both as life kicks you in the nads from time to time. Keep your nose in the wind my man.
2007-12-21 00:35:35 · answer #4 · answered by lenzix5 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'll bet that is exactly what it is.
People are intimidated by you because of the face you put on in the boxing ring. Try letting people know you outside the ring. Meet new people and let everyone see that terrific personality of yours.
Good Luck!
2007-12-21 00:01:55 · answer #5 · answered by Talkstress 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
three easy steps:
1) stop caring whether people like you or not. The opinion of the average person isn' t worth worrying about.
2) start being a jerk. Act only considering your own needs, forget other peoples' feelings
3) watch people start to seek you out. Seriously.
2007-12-20 23:57:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If i were in your shoes i would go outside and not hang in the room get some fresh air and go meet new people go to like disco's, partys even the mall because then you will see new people and make friends.
2007-12-20 23:54:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Go out and do things by yourself. Don't stay in your room all the time. Take up a hobby. Go out and met some new people.
Don't let life past you by. Pray and ask God to help you to be happy.
2007-12-21 00:00:18 · answer #8 · answered by moonchild 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
follow doug j advice and PELEASE get some help, some people have better social skills than others you obviously seem to be lacking in that departement if you want to have relationships in your life you need to shape up get some self help books, get smarter, observe how people act
I think you are lacking will power
2007-12-21 00:52:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people answered this in a mean way. I'm going to assume your question is genuine and that you really need help and are asking for advice.
I'm very fortunate. I have a lot of people I'm friendly with...but most of all, I have a few REAL friends that I love and enjoy spending time with. But it wasn't always that way. I was very shy. I had to force myself to get out there and talk to people... eventually being frienldy with a few... and eventually building wonderful friendships that I really enjoy.
First, it's almost impossible to NOT be alone if you are spending most of your time in your room. You must get out and be in the middle of things. Go to the library, the coffee shop, the park, the gym. To see people, you need to be where people are. Just do this for a while and don't put pressure on yourself to meet anyone.
Then, start to figure out what you like to do besides boxing. Now that you are out and about.... what do you enjoy doing? Do you like going to the park? Do you like that class you decided to take? Find a few things that you like... because the first part of finding friends is finding something in common that you enjoy.
Now that you know what you like... start doing it more often. Take another similar class... add the park to your daily routine... whatever. Pick a few, not just one. Then... start to talk to people you find there. Keep it low key. Again, don't put pressure on yourself. Keep the conversations short and friendly, just to get the hang of it.
After a while, you'll find that, so long as you are friendly and not intimidating... these people will start to initiate conversations with you, and you won't have to start all of them. Try and invite a few guys out with you after class--go somewhere like the batting cages, fishing...whatever makes sense for what you like to do....
Get familiar with having friends around. Pay attention to how they joke around or talk to one another. (Being an observer, in general, is very useful)
After you have some friendships in place with the people that want to do the things you like doing... then maybe move on to girls.
Girls are going to be scared of a beast. Do you love boxing so much that it's a big part of what you talk about? I do martial arts, for example, and that intimidates a lot of people... I try not to talk about it much unless I'm with other martial artists. Don't talk boxing to girls. Talk about interests. Hopefully by now you have some because you've been doing things instead of being in your room....
So find girls who are interested in the same thing, and start first by trying to be friends with a few girls. See what happens. If there's chemistry there, then you may want to date one girl exclusively... but you can also just do friend dates, where 4-6 people or so with like interests get together.
Then, after a few of those types of activities, you may have a good idea of a specific girl you would like to ask out on a one-on-one date. When you ask her out, just be your usual nice self. Hopefully she will say yes.
On the date, be nice and curteous. Pick something fun to do... like ice skating or skiing... or going to the beach and playing frisbee... or going on a hike to take pictures.... whatever. Just be nice... ask her about herself... ask her about her family.... get to know what she's interested in. Go out with her a few times and see if you have chemistry.
Don't try to kiss her too soon. Half the crap you see on television never really happens. I know plenty of 19 year old guys who have never kissed anyone... so don't get all freaked out about kissing and sex. Those things will come naturally when you find the right connection.
And don't feel pressure either to find the one right girl for you. You are young. You can date more than one girl... just don't be dating more than one girl at a time with them thinking they are the only ones. That's just mean.
Relax and have fun. You will do great...
2007-12-21 00:35:33 · answer #10 · answered by Twice as Nice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To have a friend, you must be a friend first.
Try that.
Find someone, and give your best as being a great friend !! .. and if you do .. it gets contagious.
Don't let talk be about you ... be interested in your friend.
2007-12-21 00:06:41 · answer #11 · answered by Tara 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋