I have two kids by my ex. When we seperated, he was fully aware that I had absolutely NO source of income, aside from a little child support I received for one of my oldest sons from a previous relationship.
Yes he was a great dad, and he would give me money here and there when he had it, but I needed money every single month, and because our kids were young, I could not work, and he would not keep them when he wasn't working. I had no babysitter or daycare available to me....so I filed for child support . but he still didn't pay consistantly, however he did pay sometimes when he could. there were alot times I got no child support from him ! and eventually I had to file criminal non support charges...
so now he has a felony on his record and is mad at me, and says he will now have a harder time finding a job... I do feel bad about this, but when I filed the charges I felt deperate, because I had no money, and no child care. but I didn't want to ruin his life either...
Was I wrong ?
2007-12-20 14:45:59 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
nml, dont you get it ? I had no family support system, in other words, the family we had which consisted of my 60 year old mother and his 70 year old mother was not into babsitting
2007-12-20 15:09:37 · update #1
Oh were doing good now, I filed charges 2 years ago
2007-12-20 15:11:24 · update #2
I don't think you were wrong at all! actually i think you did a great thing. Think about yourself and your kids. Its not fair to your kids to see there mom upset because she's having such a hard time getting by. You take care of the kids, so he should have to work 2 jobs just to make the payments. Thats what happens when you become a parent, putting yourself on hold for the kids. Just hold your head up and be proud of yourself, you did a good thing.
2007-12-20 15:06:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, he should have been responsible about his children and making his payments as ordered, it is normal to feel bad, you did what you had to do, but he didn't feel bad for you while you and your children were going through a hard time.
You should really consider doing whatever it takes to have care for your children so that you can get a job. Even though men are and should be responsible for their kids, you have the same responsibility to the kids, you need to make whatever sacrifices you need to make to care for them without depending on anyone else in case that the other person turns out to be a loser, deadbeat dad. Your kids need the security of at least one parent they can depend on.
You can't expect to be supported by different men's child support payments.
Good Luck!
2007-12-20 15:03:18 · answer #2 · answered by ad 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
No, you definetly were not wrong, you didn't have those children by yourself you know? he's responsible for paing each and every month. If he's having problems doing that then he needs to get a better job! It's not your problem to worry about how he's doing you need to worry about how your doing with those children, that's what is important. I did the same thing with my ex, he was arrested, did a little time in jail, but I tell you one thing, after that he payed his child support every month!! He owes you that much!
2007-12-20 15:06:39 · answer #3 · answered by blondi 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think that both of you need to get jobs. Support your kids. It's not just his responsibility. However, he knew the law. If he didn't wish to go to jail, he should have gotten the work necessary to make the payments.
2007-12-20 15:02:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off I went back to court when I was 18 months behind, and its not a felony. If he told you that, he lied. Secondly, how did you live all that time when he wasnt paying? Were you on state help? They would have went after him with or without your consent.
2007-12-20 14:51:35 · answer #5 · answered by primalclaws1974 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You could have had a family member do you a favor so you could find a job or find a job that offers daycare. You should feel bad for not trying harder and ruining his life. ADD: You still could have had him just pay for child care, that way you could get a job. It's hard when a man has to pay for women who can't get off their butts and do something about their life.
2007-12-20 14:51:14 · answer #6 · answered by RedRabbit 7 · 0⤊ 4⤋
What you did was right. She needs to pay the consequences of her actions. Prosecuted yes, fired, well thats hard to say. She might since she used her work to do wrong doings.
2016-04-10 10:39:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He needs to own up to his responsibilities - if he didn't understand the consequences that is not your fault and the kids should not suffer
2007-12-20 14:50:15 · answer #8 · answered by Tiger by the Tail 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You didn't do anything wrong. By law, he has to support his children. He did it to himself.
2007-12-20 14:56:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋