I have a 8 years marriage to a man that never remembers any dates, like holidays, my birthday, our son't birthday. For example, I have to buy all the gift this holiday, including his coworkers( he work in a small company) and needless to say I never get anything on my birthday, because all he does is hand over some money after I reminded him, how can I make him remember?
2007-12-20 14:39:24 · 25 answers · asked by 結縁 Heemei 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
How you can make him remember is by leaving his worthless a.ss!!!!
A guy who doesn't remember your birthday and you've been married to the loser for 8 years??!!! Get out already, I just met a co worker (known him for 6 days already) and he remembers my birthday and we're just friends!!!
Take your kid and get out!
2007-12-20 14:42:38 · answer #1 · answered by bROWNbEAUTY UDontLikeIt?TooBad! 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
First off one gift you can get him is a pocket calendar. Hey I have one and write down all the important dates in it at the beginning of each year. That way I will remember when birthdays are and things like that. So there you go that sounds like a nice little gift idea for him. He should be ashamed that he forgets his son's birthday, there is no excuse for that except being lazy and self centered! The same goes for not knowing your birthday. I mean the 2 of you should be the most important things in his world. I would refuse to shop for gifts for his coworkers and tell him he needs to do that. I mean you don't know those people that well and he does, so he needs to go do it. The reason he is doing this crap is because your letting him get away with it. You need to tell him and explain to him why you do not think you should have to shop for his coworkers. I would feel like a low life if I forgot my wife's birthday or anniversary. I'm a man and I know better than that and he does as well. He sounds like a self centered jackass if you ask me. My father who is about 84 remembers his anniversary and gets my mother something every year. Now if an 84 year old who has not been in good health can do that for his wife of 60 plus years then your husband should be able to remember and get you something. I would forget about a few things that are important to him. Then when he reminds you, do a half @ss job of it. Like give him a little money or something like that. Then maybe he will see how it feels. I am really sorry about how he is, there is no excuse for a grown man to act that way.
2007-12-20 15:46:36 · answer #2 · answered by Prof. Dave 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My husband also doesnt remember dates at all. I put all dates on the calendar to help him remember and of course the kids remind him for weeks when their birthdays are close. I have had a few nearly forgotten birthdays, he never remembers our anniversary or valentines day or mothers day but he is a great husband. He works hard, supports our family, and is there for me 365 days a year. I would much rather have that than some idiot that only thinks of me on a specific holiday. Think of the things your husband does throughout the year, focus on the good qualities.
2007-12-20 14:45:53 · answer #3 · answered by Lorelei 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I am always impressed by you. I always follow your questions,even I dont answer them. Youare also a smart girl and you already know the answers. Do you think you can make your husband change ? Love somebody dosent have to be coached, like a lazy dog, its should be his choice that come from his thoughts. Do you think it will better over time ? In your heart you know answers already. For example, I think about you everyday. I read your questions almost every morning, and think about your life. I always wish I can say hello and good morning to you always. I will feel happy to send a flower to you even its not your birthday. Do you see the diffrence. The feeling your husband had before is gone, this is painful truth but I feel you know its is so. He forget his own son and wife tells me his life have interests somewhere else. Do you really only want someone to act like they care you only because you tell them too or remind them ?? You never remind me to think of you but I do everyday,hmmmmm ,time for use the smart mind you have. And remember , someone thinks about you always
2007-12-20 23:57:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Men and women are different. We are attracted to each other because the other person is good at things we aren't good at. Then after we get married, we take the things that they are good at for granted and are angry about the things that they aren't good at.
If you take each thing 1 spouse is good at and each thing the other is good at, it often makes a couple that is good at most things. We each make up for what the other lacks. The problem is that after we get married it's hard to see that.
I am a fairly intelligent person but I can't remember names and dates of social occasions no matter how hard I try. It used to drive my x crazy. She, however, could not remember how the thermostat to the furnace worked, no matter how many times I explained it. That would frustrate me a lot. Why couldn't she do the things that were easy for me to do.
It helped me if I had my own calender on the wall of the bathroom so I could put B-days and other things on it so I could see them every day. Even then my x had to often remind me. I always appreciated that she helped me with that but she didn't care she was just pissed.
2007-12-20 21:36:39 · answer #5 · answered by Smartassawhip 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Stop saving his a** at work and never let your son know that his father forgets his birthday. (Always get him a gift from mom and dad, when he gets older he'll know the deal) When he feels the sting of his co-workers looking at him in a negative light..that is if they place any 'value' on gifts from co-workers then he'll put more of an effort into remembering. As far as gifts for you, you knew this when you married him I'm assuming so it's something that you're going to have to learn to deal with, or just buy yourself something really nice and hand him the receipt. Reminfing him of course that it's from him.
2007-12-20 14:45:46 · answer #6 · answered by Lisa D 5 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Stop buying all the presents!
If it is important to him (obviously, it is not), he will find the time and make the effort to learn the dates and shop for the presents, himself.
Next time, he expects you to make dinner or do something for him, hand over some money to him and tell him to take care of himself. You are just doing what he does. When he looks at you in puzzlement, just say, "Now, you know how you make me feel." Very very soon, he will be making amends.
2007-12-20 15:19:47 · answer #7 · answered by Courtney Q 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I used to buy all the gifts for his family as well and would get a dinner out. Sometimes he would go hunting on my birthday. He was very selfish and it sounds like your husband as well. It will never get better unless you remind him prior and tell him that you want a gift.
2007-12-20 14:44:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
Well speaking as a husband with a really bad memory....theres reallynothing you can do. I forget things and somethimes i have to check dates and i dont remember many birthdays and such. (i remember mine and my wifes thats about it. Maybe try to get a system a alarmremider in the phone or something he can wear to remind him. SOme people are just forgetful. We dont mean it personally and it doesent mean we dont love you or care.
EDIT to previous posters good lord she has one problem with forgetful dates why do people jump on the LEAVE HIM bandwagon its notlike she is saying he assaults her and kills people for cash. Get a grip.
2007-12-20 14:44:53 · answer #9 · answered by SS4 Elby 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Print out a page listing important dates, and add appropriate gifts he needs to purchase on his way home from work the week before. Then, staple it to his trousers
2007-12-20 14:43:40 · answer #10 · answered by Neescousin 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋