Am I drinking too much - I have opened a second bottle of red wine tonight/this morning ...?

Question

... I am mourning my brother and nothing else helps.
*None* of my Family or friends understands how I *really* feel - he was my knight in shining armour - and I mean that in a real way both when we were children and adult too - I miss him so much and don't feel safe any more.

Even my boys don't understand even though they would do anything for me - I brought them up but I was brought up with my brother when they didn't even know him (obviously!) and my elder brother has his own issues and won't talk.

Answer 1

Come on now Joan, you know the answer! You are a sensible person normally and deep down you know that the drinking won't help, except in the short term. It's a pain you have to go through and trying to deaden it with alcohol will only delay the grieving process! I'm sure your brother would tell you not to put your own health at risk in this way.
I DO UNDERSTAND I've been there too! When my Brother died I lost the only person I could ever really talk to about the pain I still felt after losing my son. He was the only one who knew that I'd never got over it and that I still had night-mares. He was my 'rock' and my 'anchor' and he still is................... When life hurts I 'talk' to him as if he's there in my head and I knew him well enough to know how he'd reply!
If you can, talk to a grief councillor, or phone the 'Samaritans' they'll help you through it, sometimes a stranger is easier to talk to than family. I know I used to be one!
I feel your pain and wish I could be there to hold your hand, Please if you need to talk remember someone is only an E-mail away!

Answer 2

I could repeat the thousands of matters which were stated already about storage of opened wine, however that may just be redundant. This is what they neglected: although wine should not ever be expected to have the equal taste as it did earlier than being recorked, you have got to seem on the varietal your are consuming. For example, if you happen to have been talking of a chianti or zinfandel, you may be losing alot of that dry, alright flavor that makes it that kind of wine. To your case, you've gotten a pinot noir, the lightest of the crimson wine varietals. You might have an aromatic, fruity wine a good way to start to lose it's sweetness. My suggestion to you is if you happen to absolutly are not able to conclude a bottle of wine in a single sitting (no longer by means of your self, just if you have leftover), the pleasant thing to do is chunk the bullet and use it for a spicy arriabita tomato sauce or red meat stew the next night time.

Answer 3

I am sorry for your loss. I had a brother like that and when he died I took it hard. Grief will run its course but the hole he left will never really be filled. You will adjust and you will come through your grief. I found that writing the whole thing out (he was sick for sometime) and putting it on paper helped to get it straight in my head. But it took a while before I was ready to turn all that over and look at it again, but it really helped. You will find the way. Until then, keep-on going. I am sure your brother would not want anything less.

Answer 4

Been there joan and if it helps you for now not a problem. You know the the answer yourself that the solution does not lie in the bottom of a bottle but any port in a storm helps in times of trouble and despair. This time of year when most people are in a Happy cheerful mood doesn't help either. Get Christmas over and then in the New Year do as kimmy says contact Cruse they were brillant for my Mum when she lost my Dad.

Answer 5

Drinking 2 bottles of wine will not bring your brother back. The pain will still be there each and every day. I too lost my brother through Leukaemia, that was 8 yrs ago now and it is still very painful. It always seems worse at this time of year. If you want to talk, you can if you wish contact me via here

Answer 6

i can tell you are a silly woman, when you already know the answer. my bro also died aged 52 back in 2000 he was a great guy, what i'm trying to say is would he want you like this i'm sure the answer would be no!! go have a chat with someone who knows what there doing, your doc might help point you in the right way, having a drink ?its not the answer it helps for a short time that's all, so try to cut down try doing something else when feeling low, i know it can be hard but if you don't try you will never know?? good luck

Answer 7

Alcohol is not a good way to cope. I used to have somewhat of a drinking problem to help ease some anxiety I had. I didn't drink often. But, when I did drink I DRANK. It has caused me to do some dumb things that could have messed up my life and others big time. It also caused me embarrassment, money, and more from one particular experience. If you are having trouble coping with the loss of your brother, I suggest seeking some sort of counseling.

Answer 8

You know you are drinking too much and will have to stop eventually. Your brother would want you to be happy. Look back on the good times, I know its still raw but time is a great healer. You should speak to a counsellor who will help you through this hard time. Seek comfort from friends and family also. Life will get easier with time I promise, god bless.

Answer 9

It isn't the amount of alcohol, but the reason you are drinking that much that is the issue. Does that make sense? Grief is a deeply personal thing, since everyone had a different relationship with the deceased--everyone's grief is different. Time will make things better, I promise--the grief will be no less real, but it will be easier for you to deal with. Don't destroy yourself in the interim.

Answer 10

I am really sorry to hear about your brother, alcohol certainly will numb the feelings for a while, but isn't a good alternative in the future as it is addictive and like anything else will wear off and leave you feeling just as bad as before, but I'll have one with you today.