My boyfriend's wife keeps asking whether he wants to see the kids for Christmas and he doesn't reply. Won't she get the hint?
Doesn't she get it, he only wants to spend Christmas with me?
Is this another red flag for me?
How will it affect his custody rights? They are still married but he only saw the kids once this year when I told him it was a red flag to me that he didn't see them.
2007-12-20 13:31:21 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why do you need these complications in your life? Why do you want to waste your precious emotions on someone else's husband? Why gum up your life with someone else's problems?
There are numerous red flags here. Get out of this relationship ASAP!
Move on to a single man with no kids or one that cares about his kids and his responsibilites. "Your" man is running from his and just using you as his crutch.
2007-12-20 14:15:17 · answer #1 · answered by Courtney Q 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are still married? Then why is he your boyfriend? That being said...his not seeing the children can very well affect his custody rights. If his WIFE goes into court with the FACTS that he isn't partaking in his visitations the court certainly isn't going to grant him any sort of custody provisions based on the fact that he has no interest in the children at all. The court is going to place the children in the home that is supportive and loving towards the children. A father who ignores his children except for once a year is not supportive nor loving.
2007-12-20 23:57:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are red flags all over the place!!!! Why wouldn't he want to see his own children for Christmas? How does he think that makes them feel? And why only ONCE this whole year? What message are you two trying to send those poor kids? That they're not loved? Or wanted? Or worthless? And YOU think it's some kind of sick dedication that he "only wants to spend Christmas" with you? Please! Why are you even concerned with custody rights, when it's perfectly clear neither of you have any interest in those kids or their well being, let alone whose custody they should be in.
Please get some help - for both of you! KJL
2007-12-20 21:54:47 · answer #3 · answered by KathieJo 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why does this man not want to see his children? You are on the right track when you say "red flag to me".
Seems that his wife wants the children to have a relationship with their father, he should be thankful, you should be prepared to welcome the children into your home, if he ever wakes up. Better yet, he will not be any more of a parent to your children, dump him now.
2007-12-20 21:41:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ok, here it goes... I am married to a WONDERFUL MAN!! He has 3 selfish kids from his first marriage, with them it's all about money and how much Daddy can send... He pays child support $1500 a month (NEVER MISSES A PAYMENT), when he calls his kids the same question is Dad, mom needs more money, can you send more.. He has asked them not to ask for money and to tell their mother not to have them ask. Yet they continue to ask and its been 7 yrs. So in turn he has stopped calling. This year they will not get gifts. We feel as though all we do is send money, money and more money.. Does it make him a terrible father? No, he is a great dad but his children and ex constantly want to take advantage of OUR money!!! For some men it's just easier to put it in the past and move forward... Maybe that's your man, who knows, love him for who he is, they are his kids, don't get involved ( I don't), let them hash it out and it will all work out in the long run..
2007-12-20 22:13:55 · answer #5 · answered by boohoo1964 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Wait a minute. Am I reading this correctly? Is he not seeing his kids because of what you will think or are saying to him? Thats how I am interperting your question. Who are you to say whether or not he can see his kids? If I wanted to see my kids and my girlfriend thought it was a red flag, see ya bi-tch.
2007-12-21 02:34:04 · answer #6 · answered by pumper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you dating a married man with kids? Yes, he should be spending his Christmas with his kids, and you should get out of the relationship and quit interfering in these kids lives.
2007-12-21 01:18:28 · answer #7 · answered by rlb1961 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there's a ton of red flags in this, especially the fact that you are the girlfriend of a married man. that's disgusting in and of itself.
him not seeing the kids regularly isn't going to look too well to any lawyer or judge.
answer this, is there even a divorce in process? have you actually seen any of the paperwork? if not, huge red flags for you!!
he ought to be seeing his kids and NOT you for christmas. as a soon to be ex and mother myself, i don't push for my soon to be ex to see the kids for my benefit, it is solely for theirs. and yes there is another women involved in my own scenario, and she's about as naive and in denial of the reality of everything as you are.
2007-12-20 21:39:54 · answer #8 · answered by celticbuddha 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Butt the heck out of it. You shouldn't be involved with a married man. This is probably devastating to the kids. You need to find a man who isn't married. Your married bf needs to realize that it's not about you or him. It's about the kids. Even if he is a jerk for fooling around on their mother, they still need him in their lives. For pete's sake, they're his flesh and blood. Enough, I can feel my blood pressure going up just trying to explain this to you.
2007-12-20 21:45:14 · answer #9 · answered by Lee K 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a red flag if you are looking for a selfless, caring man. If you are looking for a crass, heartless, asshole, it seems you found your dream man. Only a complete loser wouldn't want anything to do with his own kids. he can't use the excuse he doesn't want to deal with their mother either.
And he's still married to boot. You sure know how to pick 'em..........
2007-12-20 21:39:08 · answer #10 · answered by ♦justme♦ 6 · 8⤊ 0⤋