Please help. i'm 24, female, wife and mother, and i'm just not interested in sex nemore...?

Question

ok so like i said. i'm just not intested in sex and this is starting to affect my marriage to say the least. any ideas/suggestions a bout how to get things hot and heavy again???? be as detailed as possible but please serious answers only.
thanks.

Answer 1

this happens.....you need some 'you' time
moms can loose identity in the hustle of home life and the energy is lost before you can connect with your personal feelings and boredom does pop up unfortuately.

going out on a date with your husband will definitely do something to start your vibe up, and maybe his too...
work on it and start something new with the one on one time with your hubby....begin with something small and see what happens.....

Answer 2

Let me give you some advice from a husband whose wife is the same way.

#1 Talk to your spouse. Let him know that you recognize the issue and that you are willing to work at it. He is probably feeling frustrated and unloved and thinking that there is something wrong with him. Trust me everything is going through his head at this point, but if you tell him that you recognize the problem and you are working with him on it then it will take a load off his mind.

#2 Go see your GYN. It could be a physical problem. Don't be embarassed, they see embarassing stuff all the time.

#3 If you are up to it, then just have sex with your spouse. Make the effort to get yourself in the mood. Maybe it will do you some good. It will certainly help your hubby feel better. However, don't treat it like a chore; do it as if you want to do it. Husbands know when they are getting charity sex and trust me it is not appreciated.

Just keep working on it. Just recognizing the issue is a good first step.

Answer 3

A lot of things can affect your mood or desire to have sex. Dealing with all of the things that mother's and wives have to deal with on a daily basis, most men do not or cannot understand. There is a lot of stress in your environment. Stress can adversely affect your mood.
The first thing you need to do is sit down with your husband, explain to him that it is a phase that you are going through and has nothing to do with your love or attraction to him. The lack of sex in a marriage can definately affect the relationship in a negative way. So you have to make sure that he understands what you are going through, otherwise he may start looking elsewhere to fulfill his needs.
Secondly, see your GYN to make sure there is not a hormonal imbalance that is adversely affecting you. A few simple tests can perhaps save your marriage.
Once you have done these things and everything is in good shape, then you may ask one of the relatives if they will take the kids for a few days and allow you and your husband to take a short, relaxing vacation. During the time you are away and not facing all those problems, no kids around to worry about and all everything else. The two of you can learn to enjoy each other. Make sure you buy a new very sexy negligee. Maybe sign up for the adult channel on the TV and watch together.
Take a warm bubble bath together with a few candles lit and glowing. Cuddle, touch, kiss, hug and allow your hands and his to wander at will.
Play soft music in the background as he gently strokes your favorite places.
But you have to relax and allow these things to transpire. With time and patience you should be able to rekindle that spark that you felt for him while you were dating and the first while after you married.
Everyone goes through phases such as this and as long as your partner is aware of what is going on and can understand that it is just a phase and you will soon get out of the phase then damage to the marriage will be very minimal.
During this phase make sure you let him know it is ok to masturbate to relieve himself and gain the satisfaction you need. Also be as loving and attentive as you can without actually making love. He needs to feel that he is still needed, wanted and loved.

Answer 4

Umm, well there are many reasons, I'm not a doctor or anything but I read alot about health, some of the reasons are

Main and biggest reason would be mental health and stress, you see why people have sex is of course because they are interested, with guys some don't have an erection and that is due to blood not being able to go to the privates, same with hair fall, hair only falls because not enough blood is going to the scalp

so therefore, the main reason is stress, it effects morethan anything in the world,

smoking, drinking, drugs would make you not have an erection, because with the smoke, it blocks up the tiny arteries leading to the sexual parts, as well as so many other parts of the body

but some people with really good health but smoke and drink and do everything would have better sexual health then others who don't because everything is connected to the psychological health, you cannot believe how strong it is,

Answer 5

To a guy this might sound irrelevent, but my advice is to get a cleaning lady! Who can be interested in sex if their house is a pig sty and they haven't had a proper conversation with their husband for ages. If you are on the pill, try coming off it. It will reduce your libido down to zero. That nearly broke up my relationship.
There's a reason why mums and dads leave the kids at grandma's and go away for weekends. It's so there's no housework to do, no kids to wake them in the middle of the night, and there's nothing to do except hang out together. A weekend at a B&B, and you'll be feeling much smoochier. Just wait until the pill is out of your system if that's what you think the trouble is.

Answer 6

I think a lot of attraction is built up through casual contact that isn't actually sexual in nature, but helps you feel close emotionally, just touching your arm, cuddling, kisses on the cheek...

Also, when you've got kids you can feel really drained physically and emotionally, and it can be hard to 'set the mood', too; it might be helpful to find a way of getting around it on a regular basis: seeing each other alone without the distraction of knowing that the baby's probably going to wake up in a few minutes, but also without the pressure of knowing that this is the 'time for sex', just being alone together, being romantic.

Of course, this all depends on having someone you can leave the kid(s) with for an evening occasionally...

Answer 7

Well girl do not worry too much, the way the world is going people barely have time to think on sex anymore. Just when you think everything is going OK, something happens that would require immediate attention. So sex is not the most important thing in life, helping each-other, understanding, caring and be very patient has it rewards. It happens; we're only humans.

Answer 8

This is a hard one. I'm 23 and having about the same problem with my hubby. It helps if you get a lot of sleep, lots of water, and flirt. After a baby its hard to do any of that, I know. Flirting with baby food in your hair doesn't make you feel too sexy :D Wear something sexy, it'll make you feel good. Make sure your relationship is pretty good except for that. Do it even when you don't want to. I heard a sex therapist say that when you do it a few times a week for awhile when you don't want to, you start wanting to. If you miss much longer than you normally do, you start not wanting it. Call each other at work and make plans to do it that night, it might turn you on just thinking about how you are going to seduce him. Sex changes after marriage and a child, don't expect it to be what it was before, and make sure he doesn't expect it to be either. Good luck.

Answer 9

I just wish I could be 24 again and have your problem! Seriously, you need to ask your self why you feel this way. if you are running yourself ragged with work, house work. motherhood, money, holidays etc., you need to line your ducks up and get your mind organized. Just stop and take a few minutes for yourself each day and take time to talk to your partner after the day is done and you go to bed. Take a shower together! It is relaxing and inviting. It is not the end of the world for you, many couples go through this at different ages.

Answer 10

OK, for females, sex starts in your mind, not your body, when it comes time in the evening when things start with your man you will get in to it. Just start thinking about it all day long. There is an old saying sex starts in the kitchen is true. It actually starts out side the bed room. Make time for him, but also let him know he needs to give you something to think about.

Answer 11

First find out if it is an emotional thing or possibly a physical thing....I mean, does your husband still turn you on? Are you still in love with him? How does he make you feel? Is he understanding about all of this? Can the two of you work on it together? If everything is good between you and your husband then I'd look into a further physical evaluation by the doctor...find out whats going on.