A White Light.
A shallow grave uncovered,
A mangled body of blood,
A bone twisted and torn,
A life washed away in the flood.
An eye mirrored in torture,
A grip tightened in foul play,
A mind innocent now strained,
A face shoved in the clay.
A vein severed by blade,
A place cursed and forgotten,
With thoughts it did rotten.
The story now has an end,
Stop digging he just might,
The soul has bounced forward,
Towards a shiny white light.
2007-12-20 12:42:08 · 10 answers · asked by kissaled 5 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
The more I read this one, the more I notice how I was feeling then, I love when poetry does that for you.
2007-12-20 16:58:41 · update #1
some really excellent lines, and you choose words that convey meaning and paint a picture at the same time....
and then came "stop digging he just might"
which makes me think your words were chosen for two reasons:
1. whoever is digging up the murder victim maybe notices the soul leaving the body;
2. the soul is now free, and itself can stop digging.
good job, Kissaled.
2007-12-20 18:40:44 · answer #1 · answered by Kurt H™ FC Steaua Bucureşti 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you are right it is painful, and morbid, but in our society also so very true to life. It read very well, I followed it all the way until I got to: Stop digging he just might. It didn't ruin the poem, it just caused me to have to go back and read it again and try to figure out what you might have meant to say there? But, I didn't dwell too long, it is not for me to question! I think you did a good job. Thanks for sharing.
2007-12-20 12:57:29 · answer #2 · answered by poe 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
And I LOVE it....it reminds me of my addiction...CSI....but, for some reason it brought back the images of Katrina...wow, to go through New Orleans East or the Ninth Ward only shows massive destruction...I can't even imagine what it was when the waters were there....this poem did it for me!
Elysabeth...poemhunter, as in .com
Tornado warning all day...just getting back on...hello!
2007-12-20 13:14:14 · answer #3 · answered by Elysabeth 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow, very deep, ell written and shocking, I felt quite queasy after reading it.
2007-12-20 12:47:06 · answer #4 · answered by CATH f 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Quite often
2016-05-25 05:54:27 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well done though the grim in it is obvious i liked how you used your words so that they actually did sound like it was happening
2007-12-20 13:33:25 · answer #6 · answered by die for poetry 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
WOW very deep i liked it i thought it wuz very nice :)
2007-12-20 16:27:08 · answer #7 · answered by sammi a 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that is so amazing......if only i could write like that.....I have a poem and posted it but nobody's answering.....but this is a wonderful piece of work....
2007-12-20 13:19:53 · answer #8 · answered by I have the best boyfriend in the world :D 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Another masterpiece kissaled, well done.
2007-12-20 12:48:57 · answer #9 · answered by John F 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think that you put well detail and it is so great i wish i could write poems like that!!!!
2007-12-20 13:33:02 · answer #10 · answered by HeLeNa<3'sMiKeY 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋