I am single with a 3 year old and he stays with me 1 or sometimes 2 day(s) a week and when its time to take hem to he’s moms it hurts me from the inside because he tells me “don’t go daddy please stay with me” and it makes me depress and even as an adult man I feel like crying.
2007-12-20 12:06:27 · 20 answers · asked by Dan 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
of course you feel like crying because you love your son. When he's hurt you're hurt. Hes too young to understand
2007-12-20 12:10:25 · answer #1 · answered by tragickingdom 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a really sweet guy and a good daddy. You're hurting when you separate, and you're also upset because your son wants to be with you when you can't give him that. If reconciliation is out of the question, you might also feel like crying because you know there is no hope that you will ever have your time with him undivided. All of these things could make a guy cry.
Just try not to cry in front of him. It can be overwhelming for a very young child to see vulnerability in the most powerful people in his small universe. Also, he is too little at age three to understand that your crying because he's going back to mom is different from him hurting you. If he feels responsible for your tears, he might think he is a bad little boy and could develop self-esteem issues.
If you absolutely can't help it, try to recover your composure as quickly as possible and be perfectly open about why you are crying. You can tell him that you are sad you can't be together all the time and sometimes mommies and daddies need to cry to feel better. Ask him for a hug, and then dry your eyes. Then be sure to thank him for helping you and tell him you don't feel as sad anymore.
2007-12-22 11:00:05 · answer #2 · answered by curiousme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Comments like Lizzie has said can be blown completely out of proportion, yes it could be but the more likely reason is he has spent a couple of days with daddy and he doesn't want it to end. What you need to remember from what you have said he is the most important person in your life and you are one of the few daddy's that stick around and still want to see him. The time you get together keep it if you can see if you can have him an extra day. Don't feel depressed maybe the reason he doesn't want you to go is because he can sense your upset and run down... Remember all the times you are together and have spent together and look forward to all the rest of the days you will spend together. Before you know it he will be grown up and popping down the pub with his old man for a pint then.Then there will be the dreaded grand children round to do your head in and turn your hair more grey!!! LOL You have many years together to look forward to.Take care and drop me an email if you fancy a chat.....Jonas what a load of rubbish you come out with there are many single parent families who's children see both parents and they both share responsibility. Does it mean the comments you come out with make your breath smell because you talk SH** . No it doesn't you just talk it!!!! :-) It is very unlikely that boys or girls grow up to be gay from being with out the same sex role model
2007-12-20 20:20:14 · answer #3 · answered by Lou 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You feel like crying because you are made of flesh and bones. You have emotions, unlike most fathers who don't give a hoot about their children ,you do. After a divorce children get very sad they don't understand what is going on. Reassure your child that you will be back soon. Keep a calendar so he can visually see when you will be back. That gives them more of a sense of control. It is never easy for either parties but hang in there as they get older they do understand. Don't cry in front of him of course. They need strength when they are vulnerable. I have been divorce for 10 years trust me it will get better. My girls were 2 and 3 at the time. They pulled through just fine.
2007-12-20 20:19:57 · answer #4 · answered by liz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It natural your the father and you have a deep connection with your son. I think its great that you do have this relationship with your son. Can you get mor e days with him? Can you visit everyday or him visit every day? Try to keep it cool with your ex so she is more willing to share him. Help her out in every way as she goes to work or school. Offer to pick him up from daycare and take care of him. Get a night job if you need to to spend days with him. Getting depressed doesn't help you find solutions to your sadness.
Try calling him at his moms house when he gets there so you know he is ok.
2007-12-20 20:46:13 · answer #5 · answered by liliana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are being perfectly rational. Obviously the seperation from your son is very hard on you and your son and you love him very much. You could talk to your ex about increasing your time with your son if possible and mae every moment count. your son dosnt understand why your not there all the time and is too young but shower him with love and attention and you'll both get through this alright
2007-12-20 20:24:26 · answer #6 · answered by buffybot67 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It shows you love your son, and he can rip your heart out...which is exactly what 3 year olds are designed to do. It's all part of Nature's plan to make sure we take care of them when they're awake.
There's nothing wrong with wanting to cry and feeling bad when your child begs you to stay with him. It's a perfectly reasonable and loving reaction.
2007-12-20 20:15:38 · answer #7 · answered by Kaia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you never no what love is till you have child it hurts like hel especially when they say stuff like that to you???
its just a Fraze that he going through and if he See's you upset when he says it bless him he will say it all the more especially if u give him more attention which u will do and which we all would do in that situation i think it will fad in time if u just say mommy wants to c u now and daddy will c u in a few days time cos i have to go to work to get some money to buy u all the nice things that u want
good luck xx xx
2007-12-20 20:45:18 · answer #8 · answered by Dianne E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is when broken marriages hurt the most and everyone is affected by them, especially your son because he needs you as a role modle to learn from and they say the same sex sibling will learn more from the same sex parent. Try and see him as much as possible and lets hope he will grow up to understand one day.
Merry Christmas.
2007-12-20 20:14:33 · answer #9 · answered by Live_For_Today 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow
Sorry about that divorce sucks nothing will ever take that pain away from the kids.
We as adults don't realize what we do to our children when we divorce we kind of think about ourself.
Just try to spend as much time as you can with him
2007-12-20 20:19:15 · answer #10 · answered by lisalisa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋