AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhHH!?

Question

I AM JUST ABOUT RIGHT NOW FURIOUS!
about 2 years ago My mom married this guy, I am really not fond of this guy at all. But anyways I have never been close with him, he's just some guy around the house kind of. But Guess what I just found out.................................................................................................................. MY MOM IS PREGANANT! Why would she do this to me! She knows I am still trying to adjust to this life, And that I need to be able to talk to her! I have always been an only child, and I really don't want a sibling! I mean she didn't even ask me! I had no Idea until 2 hours ago! I can't believe this! I need advice help!

And please no insults, I am not trying to be selfish.

Ok I know it's her life. But she married this man with out consulting with me, the divorce also came sudden. And I already have a half brother because my dad married again and they had a kid.

Answer 1

First, take a deep breath. Then look up narcissism. Apply it to yourself. Your mom is a human being with desires and feelings. If you are old enough to type that question then you are old enough to let you mother be a woman. Allow her to exist beyond you and you will see that she didn't do this to you. She is living her life. Since when do parents ask their children for permission to live? You sound really spoiled right now. Does her pregnany cause you to lose your voice? I doubt it. So there is not reason for you not to be able to talk to her, unless you react poorly and begin sabotaging your relationship with her. Yes, life will change with a new child. But unless you are also in a coma life changes pretty much everyday. Life happens, adjust. What can you do in this situation to improve your relationship with her so that you BOTH get what you need? Be (act, if you aren't) mature and work with her on this new challenge (the baby) it will add a new demension to your relationship and establish a foundation for your future with her. Or you can act like baby and whine.

Answer 2

ninthnar is on the right track. You need to talk with your mom and let your feelings out. I am sure once you get used to the idea of having a baby sis or brother your mind will change. It is all a shock to you right now. One thing you need to do is find a couple of things that you like about your step dad. Try to be a little interested in him. You will be surprised on how good you will feel if you would take that step to be part of the family. I know it is a hard one for you but you need to do it. Find the good things about your family. Just because your mom got married and is now having a baby does not mean you still aren't her little girl. Remember you are her first born. You will always have a special place in her heart. That said also remember she needs to be happy in her life too. I am sure you make her very happy, but soon you will be off on your own. Just talk to your mom about your feelings and maybe you two could set a day or two aside to have your time together. If you can't get over this in a month or so I think you should seek counseling. It would help a lot. Good Luck and stay positive.

Answer 3

You're right that your mom should have talked to you about every aspect of her life, because you are her life also.

You didn't say how old you are, but at this point it probably wouldn't matter.

I think that she's made a big mistake, because depending on your age she could have waited until you went off to college.

But with her having another child and the age difference being more than 8-10 years, she'll regret it later. Statistic show that 2nd marriages have a greater chance at failing than the first.
So, when you're off to school and her husband is gone, she'll have another child to raise when she could have stopped at one.
I feel that they're being selfish when they've reached a certain age and think that the older child should help raise the younger one. But it may be a good opportunity to earn some babysitting money.

She may have wanted to have another one because your dad married and had one.
Just be supportive, and study,study,study so that you will get a chance to go to college and start your new life. Don't do anything stupid like clinging to a guy,doing drugs are getting pregnant yourself.

But remember one thing, do not take your frustrations out on the new child. And I have no doubt that you'll ultimately grow to love them.

Answer 4

Its too bad you feel this way. This could be a time for you and your mom to really get close. I understand how you feel and why you feel the way you do OK but she has already made her choice to have a baby. Now it is up to you whether you want to make the best of the situation or stay miserable over it. Either way she is still going to be preg. Maybe now that this has happened you and your mom can spend some time together doing stuff like getting baby stuff, planning the baby room, etc and it will give you all a chance to talk more about how you feel about her hubby. Try to use the situation to your advantage.

Answer 5

It sounds like it would be good for you and your Mom to take some special time together. She may or may not know how you feel but you should try to discuss your feelings. Maybe she can reasure you that you wont be neglected. Keep in mind That your Mom is married, and that they have the right to expand the family (the pregnancy might have not even been intentional). You are still her precious daughter and nothing will change that. If there is anything this man has done to really upset or scare you you need to tell your Mom (or someone else if she doesn't believe you).

Answer 6

wow what a selfish little bratz doll you sound like.... let me tell you this ....the world does not revolve around you!. And it is not your place to say when and whom with your mother can or can't have a child or who she chooses to marry!. Neither does she have to consult you at all about who she decides to love and marry.... Lucky my daughter who is an only child well for the next 11 weeks is so happy for my new husband... who she loves and respects and she can't wait till her brother is born she is only 10 yet so mature and loving what happened to you...... I would be so ashamed to have a daughter like you, you are spoilt and by the sounds of it very un grateful!.. I bet your older than 10 I'm guessing around 13 to 15 years old but you sure don't act like it.... maybe you should go and have a sulk in the corner and think about it all.wake up, grow up, and stop being a brat!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 7

My daughter was the only one child and when I could had more children she told me something that I didn't need to have another child because I already had her. I couldn't have another one because of a tumor, now after many years and that she has 3 kids she admits how selfish she was to ask me that, and apologize for it.
The world doesn't revolve around you, we all have our space and right to seek our own happiness, so does your mother. She found love and now she's being blessed with a baby, so are you with a half baby brother or sister. Don't get angry, try to understand your mother as one day you may be in her shoes. And be happy with what you have and the opportunity to love a baby in your family.

Answer 8

Unfortunately for you, your mom doesn't have to ask your permission to have a baby...I don't think your mom is trying to do anything to you, having a baby is kind of a natural progression in a mature, healthy relationship. Tell you mom your concerns (being able to talk with her). Having a baby may be something good for you as well, think of this:
You'll have more freedom because you won't be the only child to fawn over. Think of a little brother or sister following you around, looking up to you, acting like you...You'll be able to teach him/her values, lessons about life, you could become a companion :)

Answer 9

You are shocked and didn't expect this. You are angry and disappointed that your mother chose this man that you are not fond of. unfortunetly your mother has the right to choose who she will love. She is now pregnant with a half brother or sister. An inocent little life that has no idea what is going on. He didn't even ask to be born. After the shock of all of this, I hope you can get on with your life and let your mother live hers how she want to live it. Be there for her so she can be there for you when you need her. Be there especially for that little baby that will need a big sis to look up to.

You are angry because things are out of your control. No matter how angry you get things will not change. Go with the flow of the tide instead of against it. Anger only makes things more complicated. Think of it this way, some day you will choose a guy to marry regardless of what your mother says to you and move out and get married. Try to get along with your mothers boyfriend and make the best of it. Set clear limits with your mother and tell her that you want her to discipline you inslead of her partner. If he has something to say he can talk to you with respect and you do the same.

In the mean time go run or jog to get it all out. Go to a friends house or relative and talk about it. If you don't want to talk about it write it in a journal. Good luck and hope you concentrate on what your going to do with your life. You have a lot going for you, like school, job , friends, and having fun. Maybe one day getting married and having kids of your own. But first get control of your life. Finish your education and get a good job. Soon you will be too busy concentrating on reaching your goals instead of trying to change what is already. Again your mother has her life and you have yours. I would rather have yours and reach for the starts. You have got to let it go and move forward. If you hold on to your mother's bad choices, you will miss your life and the future. Concentrate on what you do have control of and thats your life. Wish you well and take care.

Answer 10

You don't want insults. OK, I won't insult you, but I think your being very selfish and thinking only about yourself and what you want. Have you stopped to think that you mom may have wanted to have more kids than just you?

Instead of being upset about it, grow up, learn to accept it, and move on and be happy for them. Honestly I think your jealous that you don't have your mom's attention all to yourself anymore and it makes you angry and jealous.

You seriously need to grow up, and accept it. Because if you keep dwelling on such negativity, it's going to eat you up and turn you into a very mean and hurtful person.