Will you put your teenage daughter on birth control?

Question

So Jamie Lynn Spears is pregnant at 16 and the question of how to talk to your child about the taboo subject is being brought up.
I myself am pregnant right now at the age of 22. I will be having a little girl of my own in 2 1/2 months and when she does get to the age of dating this is how I plan to do it...
Most people believe that putting them on birth control is condoning the behavior, but I vibrantly remember my teenage years because they were not that long ago. Whether my mother put me on the shot or not I was still going to have sex. Yes I hope my child will wait and I will definately instill in her that she should. Birth control is not 100% effective and condoms sometimes break, but using the 2 will help reduce it greatly. I will explain to my child that pregnancy is not the worse thing that could happen and that there are uncurable diseases out there. Not to mention the disrespect of being the easy girl.

Answer 1

My 16 y/o is on birth control. Originally when I asked her if she wanted to be on it she said no & so I didn't put her on it. That was when she had just turned 15. She had a serious relationship with her boyfriend, but said she wasn't having sex. A few months later she told me she was pregnant. Suprise! She is now 16 y/o & is still with her boyfriend (they plan on getting married when they are 18), & they have a gorgeous 3 month old baby girl. My 14 y/o daughter is on birth control too. She's not in a real "serious" relationship, but she had a boyfriend & that made me nervous. I'm not the type of woman that tells their kids you can't date. When you're 14 y/o you know that your mother probaly isn't going to know if you're "dating" someone. That's just how I feel about this subject. :O

Happy Holidays. Ella

Answer 2

I hate the pill, but my advice to my daughter is that she should be using both the pill and condoms until she is at the stage in her relationship where she would want to keep a baby with that guy. I won't put her on birth control until she asks for it. The side effects are too unpleasant to be on it any longer than you have to be, in my opinion.
I actually think teenage pregnancy is a smaller problem than a lot of other things. Losing your virginity before you are ready can seriously hamper your sexual development. I consider that a larger problem than teen pregnancy to be honest. Odds are though, that my daughter won't have as good a first experience as I'd hope. That she'll become a teen mum is pretty unlikely, I think. When we consider the factors that tend to increase the chances of teen pregnancy, she'll be in a pretty low risk category. Still, the implications of pregnancy depend on how you treat it. It's not the end of the world if you don't treat it as such. I'm more concerned about teaching my kids how to choose a sex partner. I remember the advice my mum gave: No sex before marriage (ha, defacto didn't count,) don't get yourself into a situation where you might not be able to stop yourself. My sister and I were petrified! From mum's advice, we thought one little smooch was enough and before we knew it we'd be in bed with someone! So, that advice didn't give us a proper perspective! The only other advice was never to marry a scrooge (most valuable advice given) and if a guy ever hit us, to leave and never go back. We didn't think that needed to be said, but when you look around, you see that it did.
I don't think one paragraph is enough advice :) so I intend to be more thorough, even if it embarrasses everyone.
Providing the pill doesn't mean they will take it, so education is very important. The media plays a big role too. Each time some little skank like the Spears sisters makes it onto the front page of magazines, it's an encouragement for other silly girls.

Answer 3

I think that I will because I guess it is hard to think that your little girl lol is going to be doing what we did!! My daughter is 4 months old, and I am already thinking about 14 years old!!

I am going to do it because I wasn't on birth control before ever and I am only 19 still, and just started. I would want my daughter to be safe and just realize what can happen. I am going to get that also for her because I would like her to be safe then sorry!

It is hard to see girls young with kids these days, pretty sick to me! I can't believe that Jamie is preg... I can imagine Britney again lol

Answer 4

I have 2 boys, so I don't have this exact problem....but if I do ever in the future have girls I would want to put them on Birth control. I remember being a teenager and being honest, I didn't care if I got pregnant or not. Thank god I did not....but that is how teenagers think. But I believe that all teenage girls should be put on BC by their mothers, if they did we wouldn't have so many teen mothers out there

Answer 5

I have two teenagers and one preteen. They have known about sex and everything to do with it for years. They know that they can come to me with any questions or problems and we will deal with them. They have been told to ask for birth control and where to get it if they do not want to ask for it. I remember having unprotected sex too because I did not have any birth control. I do not think that putting them on birth control is a bad thing and I don't think that it is giving them permission. They know what they are suppose to do and not do. Mine have been told to wait also but how many of them really do? If they do it I want them informed and protected.

Answer 6

If I were you..I would put my daughter on a good birth control. I have had condoms almost always break. But the biggest thing is god forbid, that she were to get raped. This way she could at least be somewhat protected. Good luck!

Answer 7

I've talked to my daughter (age 15), and she's not ready to date yet and so, no, for the time being, I'm not giving her any unnecessary hormones. She goes to school, she comes home, she hangs out with her family. When that situation changes (probably when she gets her driver's license) we will talk again and see where we stand.

Answer 8

My mom did that for me and I couldn't be happier. It was originally for my cramps and heavy periods. Now that I'm in a serious relationship I actually need it. I'm glad that your thinking about her well being! Some people would rather "not condone" sex, but then when their kid gets an incurable std, who is to blame?

I don't agree with one person who answered. I am a teen and I am very careful not to get pregnant. Not all of us are reckless.

Answer 9

When my husband and I got married, we thought we would be having children, and one of the things we agreed on was that we would put our daughter or daughters on birth control. We would stress to them that we prefer they wait to have sex, but we were both realistic enough to know that the whole "wait until married" thing is sort of unrealistic. We decided that we would be very open with our kids about sexuality, and explain that while waiting was a great option, we knew from personal experience that that wasn't always the way things worked out, and that we wanted them to practice safe sex no matter what, even if it meant that we had to buy the condoms.

We ended up not having kids, but that's how we would have raised them if we had had them. A lot of our friends with kids like to pretend that their kids aren't sexually active, and the idea that they are upsets them so much they don't want to discuss it with their kids. We decided early on that it would be an ongoing discussion, just so we could keep our kids safe in a world where pregnancy is really the least of your problems if you are having premarital sex.

**EDIT**
I was really lucky when I was a teen because I told my mother once I became sexually active that I wanted to be on birth control and she took me to the doctor and got me on it. I had a lot of friends who couldn't talk to their parents about it, and only got stony silences and "you better stop now" from their parents. My best friend couldn't talk to her parents, so I borrowed my mom's car and took her to Planned Parenthood to get on the pill. We had to skip school that day, and we did it with the help of my mom and of a teacher with whom we could be very honest. The tragedy was that my friend's mom, more than once, found her pills and flushed them down the toilet. I always wondered how she could think that made any semblance of sense. Did she think that flushing the pills would make my friend stop having sex? That's so illogical I can't wrap my head around it.

Answer 10

I think you have the right idea. I plan on doing the same for my sons and daughters. I'll talk to them openly and extensively about how sex can affect their lives. They should know all about how to stay safe and what can go wrong. They need to know about STD's and the type of reputation they'll get if they do sleep around. I want to be much more open about sex with my children then my parents were with me. And if they want to go on birth control then I'll take them to the doctor ASAP, and I'll tell them I'm proud of them for trying to be safe and taking one step in the right direction of responsibility.

Good Luck and Congratulations on the baby girl.