We've been divorced for 2 yrs now. I live about 5 hrs away. He only pays $200 a month for child support and thinks this is too much acutally he feels he dosen't need to pay ANY! I love my daughter and wishes things were different. I can't change him but I want to change this situation. He never calls her. I make the effort to have him in her life. I really think he can't move on and uses our daughter out of angry towards me. I need legal advice or help to move on. I'm afraid of him because he's tried to take her away from. Two separate times where I was suppose to pick her up and he didn't want to give her back to me. I had to call the cops. I read my daughter books at night, ballet and swimming lessons. I try my best to a good mom and even though her dad is the best I try to make an effort but in the end results he just gets mads and its a bad cycle . I need it to stop. Helpful advice. Legal advice. Please! thank you
2007-12-20 10:42:18 · 6 answers · asked by Roxanne T 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sorry there was a mis spelling..is = isn't the best dad
2007-12-20 10:45:56 · update #1
Maybe you should go back to court and ask for supervised visitation when she is with her father.
Or better yet, if he feels $200 a month is too expensive, then maybe persuade him to waive his rights as the parent.
2007-12-20 10:49:01 · answer #1 · answered by Ella 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
since he pays child support im guessing there is a visitation order, if he takes her again, call the cops , show up at his door with the visitation order, go to family court , file a contempt paper, make sure you make the cops file a report when you take your daughter back , use this for court. you could ask for supervised visitations. you cant force someone to be a parent, but you can help your daughter reach out to him , so if he doesnt call , set aside a time each week , where you dial the number hand the phone to your daughter and walk out the room , buy cards and have your daughter write notes and sign them and send them to her dad on fathers day , his birthday , and holidays. Encourage her to write him letters, let her address the letters , lick the stamp and place them in the mail box. if you and your ex cant be civil , keep it short when you do drop offs and pick ups, do them at a public place, the parking lot of the police station is an excellent place, stay in your car , and dont engage in conversation, buy a voice activated tape recorder and put it in a pocket , or purse , so you can record any conflict, use this for court , some courts wont allow them to be played , but will allow a transcript of it . keep a notebook and log all conflicts, times your daughters late for drop off, *i mean really late dont log under 30 mins late* try getting into therapy with the ex , and the ex with the daughter, explain to him , that your sorry your divorced , but you both have a daughter to raise and you dont want the regular divorce drama, that you dont think this is healthy for her , if hes got any decency in him he will agree, tell him if he feels angry about something , dont discuss in front of the child , tell him to write a letter or email , then you can discuss it this way , so there will be less conflict, tell him he is your daughters daddy and its important for her to have a relationship with him , because that is whats best for her. after a divorce some men dont feel as close to their children and give up trying to parent, reassure him you want him in her life and that him being there is important, if this dont work , take him to court for every contempt thing he does.
good luck
2007-12-20 10:57:10 · answer #2 · answered by ♥ஐDanielleஐ♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um..you may need to call the court liason and ask what papers to file to change the custody order if any. If there was not one.. make sure that when you go you MUST take with you the two police reports of the times when he refused to give back the baby.
Incidentally..if this happens again..make sure you inform the police of his temper problems.. that it has happened twice before and you are beginning to become frightened for your daughters safety. ( if you investigate you may find that this sort of thing tends to escalate if the dad does not seek help for himself and his anger management problem.) Also..if it happens again.. take her immediately to her regular pediatritian for a check-up to make sure nothing happened to her in any harmful way.
Also you can have the support upped by the court by proving it is simply not enough. Provide information such as gasoline cost ..daycare costs .. food costs.. clothing costs .. electricity, etc.
2007-12-20 11:21:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What exactly do you want to do here? Leave him for good? You can contact a local womans help group which will help you do just that, but you will have to follow their instructions fully. You will need to get a protective restraining order against him for you and your daughter but willbe well worth it. If you have legal custody of her and the next time he takes her without your permission,then file parental kidnapping charges against him, an that should take care of him for awhile and the just move a far away as you can get. Good luck
2007-12-20 11:31:03 · answer #4 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well im in the same boat with you but how i handle my situation is i ignore his ugly *** and every three months that bum doesnt pay i go feel out this paper at the court house and he gets a warrent out for his arrest oneway or the other hes gonna take care of mine he also has a dumb wife so since she likes getting in **** that doesnt involve her she can pay child support to also try to explain to your daughter that its not you or her its him and she will be okay dont say anything negitive about her dad but just explain she will understand one day
2007-12-20 10:53:26 · answer #5 · answered by pretty brown eyez 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't worry I'm a police officer, and I'll take good care of you !
God Bless
2007-12-20 10:45:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋