my ex called me today.she knows I want to try again,but when she was talking about her life,she told me she wasnt happy. she has a boyfriend,and has gone as far as telling me she loves him.I know its not a money problem,cause I've always helped her out.She's told me she cant hurt the person she's with now to try with me again also.But I just dont understand why she would tell me she's not happy.I've told her I'm not happy either,but she never said to come home.What does she mean?!!!
2007-12-20 10:34:41 · 15 answers · asked by flipper 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are kinda like her "security-blanket".
This will hurt you .. but think about it to see if it fits. It sure sounds like it will fit what she is doing to you.
You love her (she knows it) .. you are on her side (she knows this) .. you are all about her (she is aware & likes it, needs it) .. and you are there to listen, to help, to catch her if she falls.
What you are missing the is the meaning of when she sayshe can't hurt the person she is with now ... that REALLY MEANS that she loves him & wants him. If she CAN have you .. and if she IS really unhappy ... and if she did NOT want him ... then she WOULD leave him - and RUN into your arms.
She is playing with you somewhat. You are her strength .. kinda like a port-in-a-storm. So sorry to tell you this.
Maybe you should slowly, quietly .. back away .. and leave her alone with this man. Don't let her make you the 3rd person who gives - but gets nothing.
Slowly become unavailable to her. Don't let her know what you are doing - or she will push your buttons to keep you exactly where you are with her now ... or ... do something to set the hook in you deeper.
You deserve to be "number-one" in some lady's life. Get past this relationship ... and find someone who really loves you enough to make things right for you.
I
2007-12-20 10:48:02 · answer #1 · answered by Tara 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It sounds like she does't know what she means either, perhaps she is confused taht is why she isn't giving you a direct answer, You have told her you wnat to try again and she sayd she isn't happy, if she really wanted to try again then she would not put her happiness on hold to please the guy she is with cos she doesn't want to hurt him. Maybe you should stop being her sugar daddy and let her be a big girl and support herself. Tell her you can't wait around forever for her to make up her mind, I mean if that were me and I still loved my ex and he was with some girl I Would be so jelous that I could not sit round and wait or him to make up his mind, especially she told you she loves the guy. I don't it's abit confusing for me too.
2007-12-20 18:43:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
No offense by this but she sounds like a person that can't be happy unless someone else is unhappy with her. She wants to try with you again? But doesn't want to hurt the current BF?! Sounds to me like she wants her cake and wants to eat it too!! That or she is the type that simply loves that you want to try, and it is a major ego boost for her to have two men that want her!! Until she can come to you without a BF on the side and has nothing but you in her sights, should you settle for anything less!
2007-12-20 18:41:22 · answer #3 · answered by annoyedwithvista 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She still wants you but has to much pride to tell you. This is actually quite mysifiying. My ex left me for someone else and told me that he wanted to get back together when he found out that the fantasy he had made up in his head was just that, a fantasy. However I was not going to be his second choice after 16 years of marriage and let him come back because she didn't want him. He moved out on me, he divorced me, and yet he keeps saying I never asked him to come home.
What is it with you men and expecting us women to ask you to come home? The girl he was messing with happened to be the next door neighbor. How in Gods green earth would anyone expect their ex to move back home just to be right back home to the one he was cheating with and willing to give up his family for? I don't know your whole situation but I do know if you are the one who hurt her, she will never ask you to come home. We have too much pride and integrity to
beg you to love us.
2007-12-20 18:53:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tara J said it all. Ive also been in same situation and what Tara said happened to me just like that. Exactly like that . So love yourself and quit letting her be your puppetmaster. Oh and they hardly ever come back. Do yourself a favor.
2007-12-20 19:02:09 · answer #5 · answered by tommy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think she is trying to let you down nicely.. to make it seem that she is not happy when she actually is.. it is hard to break up with soemone too especially if it is for someone else cause that makes people feel guilty.. good luck my advice is to leave her alone for a while and see if she tries to amek contact with you.. SB
2007-12-20 18:40:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
She wants your money but none of you. Simple and straight answer.
Move on and find some one who is a straight shooter and not a mind gamer.
2007-12-20 18:38:41 · answer #7 · answered by bhaiyagi 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She means she's unhappy
IT could be her wanting to come back to you, but she can't
Or that she is just having second thoughts about this guy
2007-12-20 18:38:34 · answer #8 · answered by LiiLY PAD 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She might still have feelings for you, but she just needs some time to think.
2007-12-20 18:38:21 · answer #9 · answered by lanie v 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It means she still wants you to pine over her. Unless she breaks up with him, she isn't truly interested in you.
2007-12-20 18:37:58 · answer #10 · answered by ***~*** 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋